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AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks’trus) adj. Possessing the
ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes. -
CARPERPETUATION (kar’pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when
vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen
times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back
down to give the vacuum one more chance. -
DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt’) v. To sterilize the piece of
confection (lolly) you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming
this will somehow ‘remove’ all the germs. -
ELBONICS (el bon’iks) n. The actions of two people
maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater. -
FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be
swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room
until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug. -
LACTOMANGULATION (lak’ to man gyu lay’ shun) n.
Manhandling the “open here” spout on a milk container so badly that
one has to resort to the ‘illegal’ side. -
PEPPIER (peph ee ay’) n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant
whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they
want fresh ground pepper. -
PHONESIA (fo nee’ zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone
number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer. -
PUPKUS (pup’kus) n. The moist residue left on a window
after a dog presses its nose to it. -
TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay’ shun) n. The act of
always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even
when you’re only six inches away.