I’ve never done continental, always fancied doing a few trips, but being away a for 4 nights in UK tramping was enough for me.
But once I’d got used to a day job with occasional nights out, the idea of going back tramping would only be if needs must. I’m on purely day work now, but it’s not a run of the mill job! I’ve got 2 kids now, 3 and 2, not I chance would I entertain what you are. I wish I had the memories of doing it, maybe when i’m older, but it’s not something I’m going to lose any sleep over! I’ve got memories of being involved in Motorsport when i was younger.
I see my kids every day, I took today off to go with the baby club group to see Santa! I couldn’t imagine going away for 3 months, have a week off or so then out again for 3 months. One of the things I hate about tramping, is not being able, or its harsh if you do, do something on the weekend, how can I go and spend a full day doing one of my hobbies or go away on a stag do etc, when I’ve been away all week, I know you need the money to do stuff etc but that’s too much of a sacrifice for me. I do 50 - 60 hours per week and then daft hours for 2 months of the year, this works for me on the the work life balance, with enough cash and time for my hobbies! But everyone is different, each to their own an all!
But I can’t get my head round a family man contemplating this, what about see if you could do relief tour driving, a mix of the 2 jobs, just as and when?
There’s more to life than money, I could probably get a job a job local to me paying 5 - 10k more, for maxing hours and away all the time, it’s not enough!
My kind of job.single .if i was with my kids mum it would be a struggle as shes a narcissist, And controller ,If you dont want it,i will happily step in.
Infact where can i apply.
With no kids and no wife I wouldn’t mind giving a go once, but probably wouldn’t continue to do it. I like going home too much.
I don’t have kids but when I do I won’t even be doing 4 or 5 nights away each week. I’ll be telling my boss I’ll do 2 nights regularly with a max of 3 to help out when busy or if I get stuck and run out of time. If he says no I’ll be saying in that case I want permanent local day work. If that’s a no I’ll be saying I’m now handing in my notice then with immediate effect.
As others have said, the time watching your kids grow up even if you only got to see em for half an hour in the evening before bed, it’s time you can NEVER get back. And for what? Money? Nah there’s more to life than that (although some people would think not)
Your still young so if you feel 4k a year plus the opportunity is worth it then crack on, who cares about kids, they are overated and can be a pita and apart from first words, first steps there really isnt much else. YOLO etc, you could always have more kids a new partner later in life although you may find your still paying for the first lot whilst someone else is balls deep in you missus.
Course if the above paragraph reads a bit out of order then dont do it.
Who knows whats round the corner the choices we make not only affect us but those we care about, perhaps the job may give you more time at home in larger chunks but its the time away where the damage will occur.
Your choice, talk it over with those you love not those like me who would shag your missus while your away…
Depends how understanding the missus is, it is a long time to be away from your young family.
I understand the fact you have always wanted to give it a go, but you seem reasonably young, job offers like this could come along in the future. Your kids grow up once.
As for the missus, she may understand at first, but then she may grow tiresome of you being constantly away and phone calls/text/facetime/skype won’t cut it. Tramping/Continental work can break relationships and families. I don’t want to make it seem all bad but I speak from experience on the tramping side of it.
Is an extra 4 grand a year worth missing your babies grow up and risking your relationship?
Money isn’t everything, a job offer like this could come up 10-15 years down the line when they are grown up.
On the other hand, if the missus is willing to go along with it, and you can cope being away from your family for so long, like somebody else said earlier, give it a go for a year, then tick it off the list.
Dipper_Dave:
Your still young so if you feel 4k a year plus the opportunity is worth it then crack on, who cares about kids, they are overated and can be a pita and apart from first words, first steps there really isnt much else. YOLO etc, you could always have more kids a new partner later in life although you may find your still paying for the first lot whilst someone else is balls deep in you missus.
Course if the above paragraph reads a bit out of order then dont do it.
Who knows whats round the corner the choices we make not only affect us but those we care about, perhaps the job may give you more time at home in larger chunks but its the time away where the damage will occur.
Your choice, talk it over with those you love not those like me who would shag your missus while your away…
+1 couldnt put it better myself…i was married at 19.passed test at 21 and away the same afternoon for a week or 2 at a time…a year later 4 trips to saudi amongst other places,then a good few years tramping in europe…i was mad for tar and that was the job for me selfish or otherwise…needless to say i was divorced later,but i did what i wanted to do.if i didnt like it,i wouldnt have stuck with it. id talk with your misses and agree on a 1 year trial…if she cant agree to that then shes not exactly accomodating.if you dont try it,you will always be wishing you did…people do tours in the forces,a bit of porridge,working on oil rigs,cruise ships…nobody dies. but if your stuck to your kids,then stick to them.at that age,they dont exactly know whats what anyway,same as a dog gives you the same welcome after 5 mins or 5 weeks…and as robroy asks…whats the final answer then?
Dipper_Dave:
Your still young so if you feel 4k a year plus the opportunity is worth it then crack on, who cares about kids, they are overated and can be a pita and apart from first words, first steps there really isnt much else. YOLO etc, you could always have more kids a new partner later in life although you may find your still paying for the first lot whilst someone else is balls deep in you missus.
Course if the above paragraph reads a bit out of order then dont do it.
Who knows whats round the corner the choices we make not only affect us but those we care about, perhaps the job may give you more time at home in larger chunks but its the time away where the damage will occur.
Your choice, talk it over with those you love not those like me who would shag your missus while your away…
Ha, funny dipper but I wouldn’t normally say this but I’m not a children person (I cringe at the chav word “kids”, always makes me think of that Peter Andre “me kids me kids”)
I get if they’re your own etc you feel different. To me they’re the screaming, sticky, empowered little midgets that society treats like Gods in these snowflake times. Plus the buggers are always coughing their germs about which gets right on my wick. I think it’s some parents and society’s approach these days to children that annoy me more than the children who are innocently doing what children do. I get it, you’ve out of vanity decided to pop out mini versions of yourself and add 4 more gobs unnecessarily to the food chain. Your choice, but I don’t need to hear you talk to your brood in that overly loud sacarrine voice so we can all hear on the train carriage for the next 2 hours. You chose to reproduce, it wasn’t a skill. Good on you but I’m not interested so on you go…
Dare say I’ll feel different if I had children . I struggle to empathise with how it is for a parent. I can see it’s painful. I just don’t like being away for selfish reasons
Incidentally my Sister who has a lovely daughter agrees but she says occasionally posts like this end up on Mumsnet and it’s all middle class 4x4’d women at dawn pistol whipping the pariah
#1 talk to your wife. Let her read the replies on this thread.
When I was doing weeks away there were a few guys who managed to combine a family life with time away, but they were in the minority. Most were single or older people without young families. It can work, but it aint easy. Kids wont under stand that you being away now will be compensated for by extra time at home next month. And theyre right not to, it doesnt work like that.
Anyway if this is a job change within the same company, and if you wife agrees, could you not give it a trial run? Talk to your employer, and if he agrees try it, with a proviso that you can go back to your old job if it doesn`t suit you?
the decision may not be about the job but more about how strong your relationship is with your missus… and how you interact with your kids…
as said some make it work, forces ect but majority of these will already understand that they could be sent away for months before deciding to have kids, and it would have been taken into consideration before the deed if you like lol…
i have 2 kids from previous relationship, yep broke cos of the hours i was working… and now have 3 from my current relationship… although me and the ex would have broke up anyway, and i,m close to my earlier 2 kids, I watch my younger ones and really kick myself for missing out on the same things with my earlier 2… the things that seem little at the time arent little when you get older and you look back. and its surprising how much kids can remember,.
my missus said go for it as i stand to be home more often just with longer gaps between if that makes sense? As in i might do 4 weeks away but be home 3 days a week when not on tours.
ive had a word with the boss and asked if i can do a 6 month trial of it. see how it fits with the family life. Theyve said if at any point its a strain at home tell them and theyll have me back on general doing what i do now
i currently tramp mon - fri with the occasional sunday start/sat run in. so im not at home much anyway. with this job ill get more than that at home
You get one…ONE go at this thing we call life so try it out. There’s a lot of arguments from both sides of the fence on here but ultimately it’s YOUR decision. My kids from both relationships are all grown up. In fact, I’m gonna be a Grandad in March (Yay!) So my days of Euro tramping have been curtailed for a while. I would still love to get out there again though.
. Blimey I couldn’t do that. That would get old really quickly.
. I struggle to empathise with how it is for a parent. I can see it’s painful. I just don’t like being away for selfish reasons 