Woooooosh.
Well I think my problem is solved, I’ve ditched the napping one for sleeping on the job and taken on a Scottish bloke. Well he say’s he’s a Jock, but to me it sounds a bit plastic! 
Ex ES apparently working on timber, but was fed up with ironing his uniform as he felt it was a bit sissy for a hard mountain man like himself. Seems a happy sort, but not sure why he kept referring to the size of his ballbag? 
All he wanted was a tenner an hour and a new shiny V8 Megaspace globetrotter uberhuge unit. Not sure why it was so important to him, something about having a bigger one than some alternative thinking bloke… But if that’s all it takes to make him happy while I’m earning double his wage off him, then I’ll be competitive with the rest of the industry and everyone’s a winner! 
What can possibly go wrong? 
Evil8Beezle:
Well I think my problem is solved, I’ve ditched the napping one for sleeping on the job and taken on a Scottish bloke. Well he say’s he’s a Jock, but to me it sounds a bit plastic!What can possibly go wrong?
Well if he’s like you and only learned to go around corners in the last few months a lot can go wrong
nightline:
Evil8Beezle:
Well I think my problem is solved, I’ve ditched the napping one for sleeping on the job and taken on a Scottish bloke. Well he say’s he’s a Jock, but to me it sounds a bit plastic!What can possibly go wrong?
Well if he’s like you and only learned to go around corners in the last few months a lot can go wrong
Woooooosh
Colin_scottish:
nightline:
Evil8Beezle:
Well I think my problem is solved, I’ve ditched the napping one for sleeping on the job and taken on a Scottish bloke. Well he say’s he’s a Jock, but to me it sounds a bit plastic!What can possibly go wrong?
Well if he’s like you and only learned to go around corners in the last few months a lot can go wrong
Woooooosh
There’s been a few of them lately. 
Evil, I hear Joey Deacon is looking for a job, I will send him over to your yard Monday, but a word of warning, he has special needs .
Give him an Erf day cab Eaton twin splitter, he will be happy with that .
peterm:
Colin_scottish:
nightline:
Evil8Beezle:
Well I think my problem is solved, I’ve ditched the napping one for sleeping on the job and taken on a Scottish bloke. Well he say’s he’s a Jock, but to me it sounds a bit plastic!What can possibly go wrong?
Well if he’s like you and only learned to go around corners in the last few months a lot can go wrong
Woooooosh
There’s been a few of them lately.
It’s worse than nightingale out next to East Midlands airport sometimes!!!
OMFG I am crying laughing sat here! This has made my night (it don’t take much, granted )
This thread is just too much (or is that to much or two much, I can never remember!)
I have read all 4 pages (as it is currently) and I cannot believe that there are so many whoosh’s going on - I mean, surely if you had read the whole thread you would have seen the previous “whoosh” references and cottoned on, wouldn’t you?
I immediately got the gist of the OP when I read it - how can regular users of TNUK not get it straight away? And to think, even 4 pages in, people still dont get it■■?
I am staggered!
But, Thanks Evil, you put a smile on my face and the tears roll - I havent laughed this much in ages!
Red hot poker applied with creative flair.
Sent from my SM-J500FN using Tapatalk
Evil8Beezle:
Not too long back, I took on a mate who was an experienced driver for large firm. I’d not worked with him before, but thought as he worked for a well known company, he can’t be too bad. Things didn’t start too bad, although I was a but concerned that he didn’t want to take his turn to wash the trucks on a Saturday, and no matter how much I tried to explain to him that the company must present a good image and by taking it in turn, everyone had most of their Saturday’s off. I gave up in the end, and just cut him some slack as he was a mate, although the word mate is starting to become a bit strained. Looking back though, I should have seen the warning signs!But the latest episode just beggars belief, as all I did was ask him to carry a fire extinguisher in his cab, for his safety and as a requirement for our insurance. He just went nuts though, you’d have thought I’d just impregnated his daughter. I just can’t understand what the big deal is with this request, and feeling now that I’ve made a huge mistake… However, what can I do about him? I can’t sack him as he’s sort of a mate, but at the same time the contract I’ve got is turning to crap with his mistakes and just isn’t profitable with him on-board.
Any suggestion would be appreciated, and I mean ANY SUGGESTIONS!
1 I know of no mistakes I’ve made
2 I wash my truck mon- fri I’m not sure why he / you would think I would want too come in on a Saturday washing other drivers trucks who are too idle too do it themselfes in the week as I do .
3 are you really gullible enough too believe he just wanted me too carry the fire extinguisher too the truck , he wanted me too put the fire out if it caught on fire , firemen get proper training , proper fire resistant uniform , breathing apparatus etc , he chucks me a fire extinguisher and off you go , you might be stupid enough too do it , I’m not
4 as for mates , that’s ended , from my perspective , he’s just a boss , he’s tried the work is work , we can still go for a drink , hols etc , but no , if and when I leave things in time may revert back too where they were before I started work
5 as for bad employee , well I put my notice in a month ago , more so I was bored out of my brain driving up the same stretch of road every night ( trunking , same run doesn’t suit everyone ) , he persuaded me too stay saying he’d look into putting the runs on a rota , but the other drivers have kicked off and said why should we change our runs because he bored , selfish ■■■■■ , so I’ll give him a bit of time too change things or I’m off
dsbu:
OMFG I am crying laughing sat here! This has made my night (it don’t take much, grantedThis thread is just too much (or is that to much or two much, I can never remember!)
I have read all 4 pages (as it is currently) and I cannot believe that there are so many whoosh’s going on - I mean, surely if you had read the whole thread you would have seen the previous “whoosh” references and cottoned on, wouldn’t you?
I immediately got the gist of the OP when I read it - how can regular users of TNUK not get it straight away? And to think, even 4 pages in, people still dont get it■■?
I am staggered!
But, Thanks Evil, you put a smile on my face and the tears roll - I havent laughed this much in ages!
Unfortunately many internet “keyboard/touchscreen fumblers” (you can’t even call them “internet users” as that would then imply they at least vaguely know what they are doing online) read the first O.P. (Original Post) and then hit the reply button.
dozy:
are you really gullible enough too believe he just wanted me too carry the fire extinguisher too the truck , he wanted me too put the fire out if it caught on firewell I put my notice in a month ago , more so I was bored out of my brain driving up the same stretch of road every night
he persuaded me too stay saying he’d look into putting the runs on a rota , but the other drivers have kicked off and said why should we change our runs because he bored
The devil makes work for idle hands.
“bored at work?” “Here have a fire extinguisher…” 
stop winging bird brain or he’ll give you a set of drain rods next…
dozy:
are you really gullible enough too believe he just wanted me too carry the fire extinguisher too the truck , he wanted me too put the fire out if it caught on firewell I put my notice in a month ago , more so I was bored out of my brain driving up the same stretch of road every night
he persuaded me too stay saying he’d look into putting the runs on a rota , but the other drivers have kicked off and said why should we change our runs because he bored
So let me get this right. You WS because you couldn’t handle the variety of pulling cast concrete sections of various different sizes and weights, to any building site. Now you want to leave your current job because doing the same trunk run is too boring?
Dozy my man. You. Are. Gold.
This story just writes itself!
F-reds:
dozy:
are you really gullible enough too believe he just wanted me too carry the fire extinguisher too the truck , he wanted me too put the fire out if it caught on firewell I put my notice in a month ago , more so I was bored out of my brain driving up the same stretch of road every night
he persuaded me too stay saying he’d look into putting the runs on a rota , but the other drivers have kicked off and said why should we change our runs because he bored
So let me get this right. You WS because you couldn’t handle the variety of pulling cast concrete sections of various different sizes and weights, to any building site. Now you want to leave your current job because doing the same trunk run is too boring?
Dozy my man. You. Are. Gold.
I’d like to know where Keith Lard here was planning on going with his extinguisher if he jacked it in. Fire service probably.
“it’s a dog, he’s drawn a dog!!..”
F-reds:
dozy:
are you really gullible enough too believe he just wanted me too carry the fire extinguisher too the truck , he wanted me too put the fire out if it caught on firewell I put my notice in a month ago , more so I was bored out of my brain driving up the same stretch of road every night
he persuaded me too stay saying he’d look into putting the runs on a rota , but the other drivers have kicked off and said why should we change our runs because he bored
So let me get this right. You WS because you couldn’t handle the variety of pulling cast concrete sections of various different sizes and weights, to any building site. Now you want to leave your current job because doing the same trunk run is too boring?
Dozy my man. You. Are. Gold.
No I left ws after getting parked up by vosa for 13 hrs ( they said 9 I stopped for 13 ) , but yes it’s boring , well paid , short hours but I’m bored out my brains
Evil8Beezle:
This story just writes itself!
You’ve evaded the question , what mistakes 
James the cat:
F-reds:
dozy:
are you really gullible enough too believe he just wanted me too carry the fire extinguisher too the truck , he wanted me too put the fire out if it caught on firewell I put my notice in a month ago , more so I was bored out of my brain driving up the same stretch of road every night
he persuaded me too stay saying he’d look into putting the runs on a rota , but the other drivers have kicked off and said why should we change our runs because he bored
So let me get this right. You WS because you couldn’t handle the variety of pulling cast concrete sections of various different sizes and weights, to any building site. Now you want to leave your current job because doing the same trunk run is too boring?
Dozy my man. You. Are. Gold.
I’d like to know where Keith Lard here was planning on going with his extinguisher if he jacked it in. Fire service probably.
“it’s a dog, he’s drawn a dog!!..”
Back on fridges on days , variation on work , and keeps the Mrs quiet as she wants me on days not nights
If I was her I’d want you on days and nights. She must ■■■■ herself laughing every time you come home telling her all your stories of woe. Gives us a good laugh anyway.
dozy:
Evil8Beezle:
Not too long back, I took on a mate who was an experienced driver for large firm. I’d not worked with him before, but thought as he worked for a well known company, he can’t be too bad. Things didn’t start too bad, although I was a but concerned that he didn’t want to take his turn to wash the trucks on a Saturday, and no matter how much I tried to explain to him that the company must present a good image and by taking it in turn, everyone had most of their Saturday’s off. I gave up in the end, and just cut him some slack as he was a mate, although the word mate is starting to become a bit strained. Looking back though, I should have seen the warning signs!But the latest episode just beggars belief, as all I did was ask him to carry a fire extinguisher in his cab, for his safety and as a requirement for our insurance. He just went nuts though, you’d have thought I’d just impregnated his daughter. I just can’t understand what the big deal is with this request, and feeling now that I’ve made a huge mistake… However, what can I do about him? I can’t sack him as he’s sort of a mate, but at the same time the contract I’ve got is turning to crap with his mistakes and just isn’t profitable with him on-board.
Any suggestion would be appreciated, and I mean ANY SUGGESTIONS!
1 I know of no mistakes I’ve made
2 I wash my truck mon- fri I’m not sure why he / you would think I would want too come in on a Saturday washing other drivers trucks who are too idle too do it themselfes in the week as I do .
3 are you really gullible enough too believe he just wanted me too carry the fire extinguisher too the truck , he wanted me too put the fire out if it caught on fire , firemen get proper training , proper fire resistant uniform , breathing apparatus etc , he chucks me a fire extinguisher and off you go
4 as for mates , that’s ended , from my perspective , he’s just a boss , he’s tried the work is work , we can still go for a drink , hols etc , but no , if and when I leave things in time may revert back too where they were before I started work
5 as for bad employee , well I put my notice in a month ago , more so I was bored out of my brain driving up the same stretch of road every night ( trunking , same run doesn’t suit everyone ) , he persuaded me too stay saying he’d look into putting the runs on a rota , but the other drivers have kicked off and said why should we change our runs because he bored
dozy:
Evil8Beezle:
This story just writes itself!You’ve evaded the question , what mistakes
Mate, you are missing the point, my post was a parody of your latest job, I haven’t a clue what you’ve screwed up on this new gig, but we are all well aware of what you’ve done before. Basically you’ve got form mate!
So remind me again, how far you drive with the rear doors open?
As for your bit about fire extinguishers, that just beggars belief as I’m feeling like I need to explain to you that fires tend to start off small and grow. Remember when your mum took you to a firework display when you were a nip, and there was a massive bonfire? Well that all started from a single match pal! Your boss is not expecting you to tackle a fire that taken hold and beyond any hope of stopping, he’s expecting you to nip one in the bud in the unlikely event you have one. You should be bloody grateful, as I’m sure you’ll have a go if it looks like the unit may go up and all your gear is in it…
So ES was too stressful and the hours were too long, moving concrete scared you to death with worry, and now you’re whining that this new gig is too boring! As F-reds has said you’re gold mate, and you’ve even managed to ■■■■ off the other drivers as well, that’s priceless really…
And to even top that, you call your work colleges selfish!
I’ve got to hand it to you mate, I’m either in the presence of TruckNet’s master troll, or what I don’t know…