No its not a ■■■■ time story as the title would suggest,lol just seein if it helped getting your attention. My misfortune happened on saturday night after returning to the yard at midnight,fuelled up parked er in the shed,I’d seen the gaffa’s kitchen light on so wandered across to hand keys in and let him kno the night had gone ok no probs etc.As I said my farewell I backed out the door and heard an audiable crunch and a screech that I have only ever heard the like when once I went in the back door at home instead of the front if ya get what I’m sayin,anyway lookin down I could see my once feline friend under my foot snarling up at me as I stood all 15st down on top of it,squirming around under foot I lifted pressure off and off it went with a hiss in the distance!! OH SHeeiiitttee I thought as gaffa comes runnin past askin what’s wrong,so replying oh yer I stood on ur wifes ■■■■■…cat,it must b ok though mike it ran off ok… Apologising prefusely I left.Only to find out today the wifes ■■■■■ has no longer returned home as usual and they are really worried about it!!! How bloody bad do I feel 
and there’s me tryin to keep my nose clean so I get some full time work,always putting my foot in it me literally. What do you think my chances are now of gaining full time status with them.Bloody hate cats I do,they might have 9 lives kinda hoping I do aswell now…
Sorry but no chance I would think if their cat lovers.
It will take more than a saucer of milk for you to get in their good books or get the cat back 
so, this ■■■■■, was it a big hairy one? 
shuttlespanker:
so, this ■■■■■, was it a big hairy one?
Can’t have been very big, he didn’t see it
If its not back after a month buy them the cutest kitten you can find.
Don’t wanna rub salt in mate…But your 15stone probably crushed all it’s internal organs, and it slowly, and very painfully, drowned in it’s own blood. Jut sayin’.
Cats can disappear for weeks on end, you’ve probably just ■■■■■■ it off and it’ll be back soon enough.
I once ■■■■■■ the owner of a ■■■■■ off so badly that the owner (and her ■■■■■) moved out and didn’t come back for over a month! The ■■■■■ was very pleased to see me when they finally returned though, and I even got away with stroking another cat in their abscence.
altitude:
shuttlespanker:
so, this ■■■■■, was it a big hairy one?Can’t have been very big, he didn’t see it
so, you are saying that it was small and nicely trimmed
bigvern1:
Don’t wanna rub salt in mate…But your 15stone probably crushed all it’s internal organs, and it slowly, and very painfully, drowned in it’s own blood. Jut sayin’.
…and that’s if it’s lucky.
Could you not give her something to fill the gaping hole in her life?
shuttlespanker:
altitude:
shuttlespanker:
so, this ■■■■■, was it a big hairy one?Can’t have been very big, he didn’t see it
so, you are saying that it was small and nicely trimmed
Not sure what size it was… but nicely trimmed may be pushing it a bit.
altitude:
shuttlespanker:
altitude:
shuttlespanker:
so, this ■■■■■, was it a big hairy one?Can’t have been very big, he didn’t see it
so, you are saying that it was small and nicely trimmed
Not sure what size it was… but nicely trimmed may be pushing it a bit.
are you now suggesting that there has been a bit of animal cruelty here and they had shaved it? 
shuttlespanker:
altitude:
shuttlespanker:
altitude:
shuttlespanker:
so, this ■■■■■, was it a big hairy one?Can’t have been very big, he didn’t see it
so, you are saying that it was small and nicely trimmed
Not sure what size it was… but nicely trimmed may be pushing it a bit.
are you now suggesting that there has been a bit of animal cruelty here and they had shaved it?
I think this could well be the case But I’m more worried by the fact he didn’t see it do you think a trip to Specsavers may be in order