Got lucky at kernels 1 night went back to hers for a bit of 1, 2 buckle my shoe , cat was in the bedroom made a nice deposit on my t shirt during the night 
a taxi back to the truck in the morning with no shirt on aint much fun in winter!!
Parked up most thursday nights at penrith in the 90s. Allways loaded for Ellesmere port paper mill for friday morning delivery so early starts a must for then load winsford and return to central Scotland.
Qiuck dog ■■■■ dinner then up the stairs for some abult conversion over a few social halfs (cough cough).
My mate bagged some tart that worked at southwaite services and she joined us for the evening entertainment.
Said mate returned to his lorry with said tart and decided to have a night of cab passion,
4 drivers roll out of the bar at 12 and decided it would be a good idea to jack his cab up as we could here them frolicking, as the cab got higher all of a sudden the load thud was heard as the two lovers hit the windscreen. The cab was right up in the end.
Penrith security trying to catch 4 drunken drivers scatter in all direction of the truckstop.
A night myself and said mate will never forget.
Regards, Rocket pilot.
rocketsquadron:
Parked up most thursday nights at penrith in the 90s. Allways loaded for Ellesmere port paper mill for friday morning delivery so early starts a must for then load winsford and return to central Scotland.
Qiuck dog [zb] dinner then up the stairs for some abult conversion over a few social halfs (cough cough).
My mate bagged some tart that worked at southwaite services and she joined us for the evening entertainment.
Said mate returned to his lorry with said tart and decided to have a night of cab passion,
4 drivers roll out of the bar at 12 and decided it would be a good idea to jack his cab up as we could here them frolicking, as the cab got higher all of a sudden the load thud was heard as the two lovers hit the windscreen. The cab was right up in the end.
Penrith security trying to catch 4 drunken drivers scatter in all direction of the truckstop.
A night myself and said mate will never forget.Regards, Rocket pilot.
:clapping: 
Tim85:
I have obviously led a very sheltered life
Me too Tim, I once got a clout off my dad for saying ■■■■■■ rotory engine !
haddy:
Tim85:
I have obviously led a very sheltered lifeMe too Tim, I once got a clout off my dad for saying [zb] rotory engine !
Funny
hiya…in Luton truckstop about 15years ago…the policemans private party. only regular drivers invited.
Better say no more…the bits i can remember are bad enough coming back to haunt me
John
About 2 year ago picked up a backload from Sanquar tiles for Rawsons at Wakey. Dropped the trailer in Rawsons and parked under the railway station at the bottom of Westgate. Went to the pub outside Wakefield prison and got chatting to an Irish driver, said if I fancied a few with him and said no probs. We went into one pub and got chatting to 2 of Wakeys finest seen more teeth in a newborn bairn and that’s both of them.
Irish fella starts necking with the stunner of the 2, I’d rather have shagged a 2 week old corpse, hands down her “leather look” bottoms, tickling her gash, dribble coming from the corner of her mouth while her eyes were looking to the moon.
I said ■■■■ this I’m off to kip as I was up at 4, got in bed and been asleep an hour or so only to be awoken by the cab rocking and," ohhhh, ahhh, give it me ya oyrish ■■■■■■■■■ I opened my curtains to see her bent over my fuel tank and his arse going up and down like a bees wing
SteveBarnsleytrucker:
I said [zb] this I’m off to kip as I was up at 4, got in bed and been asleep an hour or so only to be awoken by the cab rocking and," ohhhh, ahhh, give it me ya oyrish [zb]!" I opened my curtains to see her bent over my fuel tank and his arse going up and down like a bees wing
Love it, and who said romance was dead?
“Arse going up down like a bees wing” .funniest thing I’ve read in ages Steve! I’m gonna pinch that and say it was one of mine. 
the maoster:
“Arse going up down like a bees wing” .funniest thing I’ve read in ages Steve! I’m gonna pinch that and say it was one of mine.
Haha ya ■■■■■ 
Big Roy:
SteveBarnsleytrucker:
I said [zb] this I’m off to kip as I was up at 4, got in bed and been asleep an hour or so only to be awoken by the cab rocking and," ohhhh, ahhh, give it me ya oyrish [zb]!" I opened my curtains to see her bent over my fuel tank and his arse going up and down like a bees wingLove it, and who said romance was dead?
That is the hight of romance in Wakey mate. Seth will tell you that
jrt:
Thetaff2:
Wtf are you on? Mental health issues?? Really??Have you ever met any of these girls? By going by your stereotypical attitude towards them I guess not.
I’m sorry to burst your bubble but most of them do it not because they are on crack or other drugs they do it to survive and feed their kids etc.
Talk to them when they knock your door instead of treating them like something you have trod in.
They are human beings just like you are,but have nothing and do it to survive.keep telling yourself that son.
It ain’t me its the voices in my head telling me too!!
largebloke1969:
Got lucky at kernels 1 night went back to hers for a bit of 1, 2 buckle my shoe , cat was in the bedroom made a nice deposit on my t shirt during the night
look on the bright side…it could have kakked on your skiddies… 
30 + years ago.night out at salford docks area/.pub was called the clewes or something like that,a normal truckie haunt full of baggies and enthusiastic amateurs,so always a good night had by all. im parked on waste ground where they have decided to use as a national carpark but its deserted because its the evening and theres a few trucks abandoned there,…,several happy pub hours later,im blocked,helping tonights star buy into her high rise penthouse for a nice chinkies and some horizontal jogging,wakesup in the morning,back to truck,the carpark is now filling up with cars and im blocked in…disaster… winston is there collecting tickets from a garden shed painted yellow.( I think his name was Winston,but its a long time ago) ive to burgle 4 or 5 cars to move them so i can at least see the exit while winston stops others from blocking me in further.45 mins later with my arms hanging off me,ive nearly got the cab at the exit,but the trailers still round the back of the ticket office/garden shed. so as i eventually remove the trailer plate, winston gets told to go out onto the street to stop traffic as im coming out,once hes safely 10 yards away looking the wrong way,i exit left,taking out the shed as the trailer wheels flatten it and wreck it as the last 15 feet/2 axles,and a few tons of bricks trash it into firewood. i stop looking in the mirrors and heavy pedal it off into the sunset.flat out in a guy j4 with a 180 gardner,5 gears and no power steering wasnt exactly warp factor 9,but the reek of smoke coming out of the old donkey made up for that…im still waiting for the bill though,so altogether not the worst evening… 
dieseldog999:
30 + years ago.night out at salford docks area/.pub was called the clewes or something like that,a normal truckie haunt full of baggies and enthusiastic amateurs,so always a good night had by all. im parked on waste ground where they have decided to use as a national carpark but its deserted because its the evening and theres a few trucks abandoned there,…,several happy pub hours later,im blocked,helping tonights star buy into her high rise penthouse for a nice chinkies and some horizontal jogging,wakesup in the morning,back to truck,the carpark is now filling up with cars and im blocked in…disaster… winston is there collecting tickets from a garden shed painted yellow.( I think his name was Winston,but its a long time ago) ive to burgle 4 or 5 cars to move them so i can at least see the exit while winston stops others from blocking me in further.45 mins later with my arms hanging off me,ive nearly got the cab at the exit,but the trailers still round the back of the ticket office/garden shed. so as i eventually remove the trailer plate, winston gets told to go out onto the street to stop traffic as im coming out,once hes safely 10 yards away looking the wrong way,i exit left,taking out the shed as the trailer wheels flatten it and wreck it as the last 15 feet/2 axles,and a few tons of bricks trash it into firewood. i stop looking in the mirrors and heavy pedal it off into the sunset.flat out in a guy j4 with a 180 gardner,5 gears and no power steering wasnt exactly warp factor 9,but the reek of smoke coming out of the old donkey made up for that…im still waiting for the bill though,so altogether not the worst evening…
You have certainly led a colourful life Dieseldog, are you still driving?
fraid so…whatever week I decide will be my last will definitely be interesting for whoever gets on my ■■■■ though…
is this one any better■■?
…or…mid 80s…sheerness docks,loading oranges off the boat,fedup and just wanting a good night out as ive been there 2 days waiting. in those days it was potluck in what order your load came off the boats.anyhooooo…meets another scottish dude.goes to the pub and get slabbering drunk.towards the end of the evening,we bump into two trollops who we invite to tag along for the rest of our evening. instead of the normal gratefull type,these two were just gold diggers of the highest degree.but we have beer goggles on so we dont care…until we got to the chinkies after the pub shut…4 of us go in…couple of pints for the lads,and its brandy and babycham doubles for the tarts…im having my usual chicken curry,boiled rice and a plate of chips with ribs…and these 2 are just ordering the last supper each…quote…set meal for four??..yes and me mate will have the same please…unquote…double this,and double that,just kicking the ■■■ out of these two scotch dafties who are apparantly randy enough to be bankrolling them.,.so after the meals almost done,the other dude goes for a pee…i give him 2 mins,then its my turn,just in time to catch him coming out of the toilet,i tell him the tarts are waiting downstairs and outside,plus there hot to trot,so we need to hurry up…and exit stage left without looking back…if anyone knows the 2 bints ,feel free to pass on my regards for a nice evening and a nicer meal,.i never found out if they got arrested for non payment of a megachinkybill or if they had to wash dishes …still alls well that ends well?
there is a memorable one for me regarding parking up near pleck road…j9—j10 m6. years ago there was lorry parking there,and also around the surrounding areas…sooooo…parks up with a load of steel beams overhanging plenty at the back…usual story,pub…■■■■■■■■■■■■ trollop,who when i woke up beside her had somhow changed overnight from being a stunning ■■■ goddess,into a fat minging munter complete with indian in tattoos…however,any port in a storm,i get a cuppa,and decipher exactly whereabouts i am…apparantly its somewhere in wolverhampton which seems a reasonable place to wakeup,then possibly 45 seconds later,it starts to dawn on me that i left the lorry in walsall…i havent a clue whereabouts i am as its in the middle of a housing estate,but finds a bus stop after asking directions,gets on the 1st bus that comes,then get off it 5 mins later as its taking me away from walsall. eventually back to walsall after running miles once i found a landmark,and back to truck as i can now see it over on the waste ground…hhhmmmmmmmmm those beams hanging off the back have bounced loose a tad on the journey down from glasgow…bright hangover idea number 1 comes into place now…im backed up onto a massive brick wall… methinks il just loosen the dwangs off a tad,and give the beams a wee nudge and see if they shove back up the trailer a bit…start truck,build the air…back gently and nudge wall the tinyest of tiny wee taps,happy days,there goes 20 or 30 feet of brick wall crashing down so that i can now see a clear view into the back of a police station or somewhere that looked very similar judging by the cars and stuff now covered in bricks…so i do what any self respecting truckie would do in a similar situation…trailer plate off,and heavy pedal with the chains and dwangs flapping i expected to get dragged away denying everything somewhere south on the m6,but i tightened the lot up at corley services,and never another word heard.hopefully itl stay that way…perfect end to a perfect night…I wouldn’t know what night is my most memorable,but this one has to be in my top ten…
Yes, waking up and not being shure where you are.
I once lost my keys… 
Toss up between Auchterarder and Vercelli .
Starr inn or the Globo