in the middle of 1978 i travelled to kidlington in oxfordshire with my father in an erf for j.c.finneys,whilst on the old A40 route,my father shouted hey kid look at that,we stopped the lorry with lots of other vehicles both sides of the carriageway stopped,it was a ghost carriage witnessed by lots of people,evening time with lashing down rain,it was incredible,the ghost carriage crossed through the middle of both sides of traffic,then vanished in a field on our left then both sides of traffic moved on as though nothing had happened,near the end of 1978 i travelled to an industrial estate with my father at hemel hempstead,we arrived at 7.00 am to be unloaded for 8.00.we parked alongside a high wall where my father asked do you want to stretch your legs kid,i said ok,my father leaned across the engine mount,grabbed my door handle and pulled it open,he sailed straight past me head first and went down the metal steps of which he smashed his nose on then hit the concrete with a thud on his head,i just sat for a short while frozen with fear ,in shock n terrified,i was only thinking that my father was dead,i managed to get my sences and dared to take a look,my father was groaning with his head in a pool of blood,i got out the lorry and raised the alarm,an ambulance was called n he was rushed to hospital,he had fractured his nose n skull and i was told i had saved his life at only 8 years of age,10 more minutes n he would have died,when he recovered we continued travelling together in the same lorry of finneys until he changed firms for better pay,2 weeks before my father died his mum came to our house with an elderly freind of hers,this woman was a medium or clairvoyant,she shook hands with my mother then my father where she then stepped back and said dear god to my grandma,im very sorry but your son will be killed within the next 2 weeks,my mother got very angry n called this woman nuts and pushed both her n grandma out of the house and told both of them never to come back again,true to this womans words my father was killed within the 2 weeks, i truly believe after all these years that my mother at the time actually took some kind of belief in the womans words because the night before my fathers death my mother was very adamant i was not goin with my father to wales,now after telling this true story to people on here i wonder if you are now still thinking councilling with no disrespect to any of you nice drivers on here,there are other events besides these but i dont fancy the michael being taken so i think ill have to stop at this point.
Don’t discount counselling ricky. I can’t begin to imagine you’re suffering re: your dad. My partner had a miscarriage 3 years ago which was devastating. I don’t think we would have got to where we are today if she hadn’t had counselling. In fact I don’t think she’d have been around without it. I had no way of helping her on my own so please give it a go.
Sorry, it sounds a bit melodramatic but I genuinely believe it made that much difference to her.
paragraphs would have made this easier to read, justa suggestions for the future 
rickykirk:
…now after telling this true story to people on here i wonder if you are now still thinking councilling .
Yes, now more than ever. Counselling is nothing to be ashamed of and I think it’d help you.
rickykirk:
no councillor on this planet who can help me because the problems i have carried are way too deep rooted and what ive put on here about my.
But what have you got to lose? You should at least try because trying to deal with it on your own obviously isn’t working. I can’t begin to imagine how awful it must have been but you really should seek help, a councillor could help, it’s their job and they deal with this sort of thing everyday. You’ve posted it on here so you obviously want to talk about it. So talk about it with someone that can give you real help.
I’m ever so sorry to hear about your Father, and that you are still finding it hard to come to terms with your loss. I hope you wont think that I’m talking out off place here.
But have you ever thought about how your father may have felt if he’d had you with him, and that your life had been lost aswell. Or what effect that may have had on your Mother and Siblings, on top off your Fathers death. Maybe in those last 25minutes He was thankful for the fact you’d stayed at home, safe and well to move ahead in your life.
Another thought, have you ever talked about your Dad with his work mates, I guess most would be retired now, they maybe able to tell you about that part of your Father that you never had the oppertunity to get to know, the working man, colleague and freind. I’m sure that many would be only to willing to chat over a pint or two.
As several have said, take a look at councelling, it can help.
Best wishes for the future
Give it a go mate, you’ve nothing to lose, funnily enough I had the same view of counselling as you before I tried it.
I’m sure that you will find many people on here believe that there is more than just this life, I do. I was on the A339 one night with my mate, saw a woman in white cross the road right in front of me. I slammed on the brakes, my mate screamed like a wuss, I shut my eyes and waited for the bang, heard a car skid past me from the other direction, then nothing, no bang. We all got out, no sign of anyone, so we all went on our seperate ways. A year ago I was on a website and there were multiple reports over the years that this had happened to others in that same spot 
. Just because you believe in ghosts doesn’t mean you are beyond saving, or I’ll be in the padded cell with you 
. Feel free to chat and share your thoughts on here, it will help you, I agree but a counsellor will help you more. Take care mate and keep us informed.
Phil
This is a very tragic tale, one that we dont need too much reminding, accidents that involve Truck drivers have been too frequent just lately.
You are obviously suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) I had or still am suffering with this from April 82, just like you I thought I wasn’t untill I had a major break down and ended up seeing a counsellor for two years, I can now live with the past and it stays just there, in the past…most of the time…but the counsellor does help.
theonlybigman:
paragraphs would have made this easier to read, justa suggestions for the future
Yes it would, but its of very insignificant importance here.
A hard working (to support his family) driver is dying at his wheel through no fault of his own, does it really matter whether he or his subsequently grown up son knows how to make paragraphs?
I know we have a go at some posters about their spelling and grammar from time to time, but I for one don’t think its required here in such an emotive subject.
Ricki, I’ll post a response to your post when I’m less tired. (see time)
Driveroneuk:
theonlybigman:
paragraphs would have made this easier to read, justa suggestions for the futureYes it would, but its of very insignificant importance here.
A hard working (to support his family) driver is dying at his wheel through no fault of his own, does it really matter whether he or his subsequently grown up son knows how to make paragraphs?
I know we have a go at some posters about their spelling and grammar from time to time, but I for one don’t think its required here in such an emotive subject.Ricki, I’ll post a response to your post when I’m less tired. (see time)
thanks very much for your reply mate and your right what you say about paragraphs,you see as i stated earlier my dads death was only the beginning,i never learned much educationwise as a child because i was put into a childrens home 2 weeks after my dad was killed which led to me being constantly locked up for 14 years,my dads death devastated me along with many other sad times and the childrens home led me to total ruin,2 weeks before christmas,2 weeks before my 11th birthday,2 weeks after my dads death,sat with a horrible social worker looking out the back window of the car watching the snow fall,grieving over my dad and not knowing anything but heartache and sorrow,nobody to turn to and totaly rejected by my own mother at a time like this.
Sad…
Ricky,
You’ve been through a lot both at the time of death and ever since.
I’m not perfect and thought in years gone by I didn’t need counselling, then to save my marriage I took the plunge. I’m still married, happily to and now have a wonderful son in to the bargain.
I gained so much from the Counselling that I did an introduction course, but never took the next steps to getting fully trained.
Please seek a counsellor out, take time selecting the right person. Nothing is too deep rooted to sort out, it can be a long journey, but youv’ve got the rest of your lfe ahead of you, so take the chance to enoy it.
I know you will never forget yuor father, but hopefully in the future you can both be at piece.
PM me if you want any help on selecting councellors
Nice one lads, I’m very proud to be amongst the salt of the earth people that are on this site. Truckers are very much underated in this country, both in the job we do, and the type of people we are. You are right Ricky, you are in good company on this site, and getting good advice. Just give it a go (counselling), for yourself and for the memory of your dad. Think about what you said about the afterlife,you obviously believe in it, that means he’s looking down on you, do it for his spirit, he’s still with you and if he could talk he’d tell you to do it.
Ricky: If you’ve spent any time reading the many various threads here at TN you will have noticed its a rare day when many drivers agree with each other. Usually if one says its white, 2 will say its black and 3 will say its grey.
Go back through the posts in this thread and write down how many have said you should seek out counselling and some of those guys have been through the mill with tragic family events and had counselling themselves. They’re all singing from the same hymn sheet, quite a rare event here.
I lost my Dad suddenly (heart attack) when I was 22. At 39-40, just as I was building my then business Iost my Mum suddenly & unexpectedly then within 2 years my dear Aunt who I was very close to as she had lived with us most of my life. For 6 months she suffered terribly from undiagnosed pancreatic cancer suffering terrible pain with no morphine offered. I was totally alone and had to watch her deteriorating day by day for 6 months. I felt so helpless. No family (gf, wife, children, siblings, Aunts, Uncles, cousins) around to support me.
I had counselling. Its not a cure all, but it most certainly helps.
Also, remember this, counsellors do this job because they choose to and want to, not because they have to.
In 1974 I very nearly lost both parents and my Aunt. They were traveling from Preston to Burscough in a Triumph Dolomite in heavy rain when an empty tipper lorry coming too fast around a left bend braked harshly locking the rear wheels and slewed accross the road hitting our car.
They were all lucky to be alive, especially my father who suffered multiple injuries.
I was 15 at the time.
A local small haulier, in business for many years, and one of the small haulage co’s who has not gone down in recent years, has lost 2 of his children in accidents … on the day of the funeral of one of his children, he moved his car running over his wife’s foot breaking it. They ended up in A&E. He continues in business. I have never met the man, but I totaly admire his will.
Tnet is read by a great many drivers and retired drivers, there is some chance the driver who was involved in your tragic loss will read this thread, if he is still living, but should he do so, don’t expect him to post.
Driveroneuk:
Ricky: If you’ve spent any time reading the many various threads here at TN you will have noticed its a rare day when many drivers agree with each other. Usually if one says its white, 2 will say its black and 3 will say its grey.Go back through the posts in this thread and write down how many have said you should seek out counselling and some of those guys have been through the mill with tragic family events and had counselling themselves. They’re all singing from the same hymn sheet, quite a rare event here.
I lost my Dad suddenly (heart attack) when I was 22. At 39-40, just as I was building my then business Iost my Mum suddenly & unexpectedly then within 2 years my dear Aunt who I was very close to as she had lived with us most of my life. For 6 months she suffered terribly from undiagnosed pancreatic cancer suffering terrible pain with no morphine offered. I was totally alone and had to watch her deteriorating day by day for 6 months. I felt so helpless. No family (gf, wife, children, siblings, Aunts, Uncles, cousins) around to support me.
I had counselling. Its not a cure all, but it most certainly helps.
Also, remember this, counsellors do this job because they choose to and want to, not because they have to.In 1974 I very nearly lost both parents and my Aunt. They were traveling from Preston to Burscough in a Triumph Dolomite in heavy rain when an empty tipper lorry coming too fast around a left bend braked harshly locking the rear wheels and slewed accross the road hitting our car.
They were all lucky to be alive, especially my father who suffered multiple injuries.
I was 15 at the time.A local small haulier, in business for many years, and one of the small haulage co’s who has not gone down in recent years, has lost 2 of his children in accidents … on the day of the funeral of one of his children, he moved his car running over his wife’s foot breaking it. They ended up in A&E. He continues in business. I have never met the man, but I totaly admire his will.
Tnet is read by a great many drivers and retired drivers, there is some chance the driver who was involved in your tragic loss will read this thread, if he is still living, but should he do so, don’t expect him to post.
firstly i must say im very sorry n saddened by your own losses mate and the pain youve also suffered,secondly you are very right what you say,'the british lorry driver are without doubt the safest drivers in europe and thats also my opinion,as far as i know we have the most stringent examiners who will not pass you just for the sake of it,theres a lovely bunch of thoughtful caring freindly lads on here and i wish them all the best,above all that they remember what the driver did to my dad n drive safely on the road of which im sure they will do,yes the other driver is still living as i did my own investigation into this crash,he is now in his mid 70s and still in the same area in south wales, my dad was 31 at the time,the other driver much older,we lived in tyldesley lancashire at the time it happened,yes ive looked through the threads n nearly all the drivers have advised councilling,ill give it another week to review more advise and posts on here then ill speak to a councillor but i wouldnt hold my breath etc cause there are lots more serious issues to add onto what you already know about and some of them would make every normal minded drivers blood boil on here.
Phone your GP TODAY, make an appointment, go to see him/her and tell him about these traumatic events in your life and that you are struggling with it all and would like to see a counsellor. That will start the ball rolling, which, to be honest, should have been done many years ago. Good luck.
Driveroneuk:
Phone your GP TODAY, make an appointment, go to see him/her and tell him about these traumatic events in your life and that you are struggling with it all and would like to see a counsellor. That will start the ball rolling, which, to be honest, should have been done many years ago. Good luck.
I second that wholeheartedly. Do it now. It won’t be a magic cure and it’ll take a long time to work through your problems but in time with counselling your life will be better. Even if only a little better that’s still something.
'bout time we had an update on this.
Ricky please come back and tell us you have been to see your GP to discuss councilling.