this is a very sad tragedy of a story concerning the death of my father who was killed in his erf at gobian south wales in nov 1979,i was only 10 years of age when he died and was absolutely devastated,infact it ruined my life and i still cant get over it and im now 44 years old,i do not wish any sympathy or any driver on here to pass harsh judgement to the other driver who caused my fathers death,i am only looking for some kind of closure,i have read the forum rules and will stick to facts and not name names,on the night of 25th nov 1979 i went to my father who was in the kitchen making his usual flask n sandwiches,‘dad’ please can i have another day off school n come to wales with you tonight,he looked at me with his usual smile n ruffled my hair,‘course you can kid’ but you better ask your mammy first’my mum had already heard me ask n said ‘kevin’ no chance hes already had too many days off and hes not going,i begged my dad who said ‘im sorry kid’ ill take you next time i promise,those where my dads last words to me because the next morning he was killed by another hgv driver who was speeding and on the wrong side of the road,the crash actually occured before 5.45 as stated on the fact sheet,the police arrived at 5.45,the other lorry concerned had on it bald hommerton remoulds,none of the brake actuators were working on the trailor,the stack of sheet steel on the back end was swaying off the trailor,the driver sped down the hill towards the bend where he had to take the wrong side of the road to cut back into his lane,whilst he was going round this bend my father had just entered the straight off the opposite bend not shown on the sheet,my father had done an emergency stop and prayed for his life basically because he knew that the rear end of the other drivers trailor with the overhanging steel sheets were going through his cab because this driver could not get his trailor back on his side of the road in time,due to my fathers emergency stop,his load of plastic pipes folded his trailor board and some went through his cab,my father was alive and ok at this stage,it was the spit second later that the other trailors sheet steel went through the middle of my fathers engine cutting through all the suspension,leaf springs and steering column,the impact caused my father to be half thrown out of his door side window,on the impact the sheet steel caused the back end of the other drivers trailor to lift up in the air and the rear double wheels snapped clean off the axle and embedded themselves in my fathers drivers door,the other lorry ended up sat through the hedge where the driver locked himself in his cab,5 mins after the crash my father was hanging with his head n arms over the embedded wheels,he was mortally wounded but still alive moaning in agony,another lorry driver arrived shortly on the scene ,he got out and ran towards my fathers lorry where he was confronted by 2 other people who where already on the scene,he asked if there was anyone in the lorry to which they replied they didnt know,the driver found my father and shouted to the other 2 to go to the phone box which was only 50ft away n call the police n ambulance,the driver n the other 2 people went back to my father and decided to help him from his cab,the driver asked my father if he was ok before moving him,my father just said ‘my legs are hurting’ obviously no spinal or neck so they could lift him out,whilst one of the 2 people grabbed my fathers ankles lodged under the peddles,he cried his legs are off his legs are off then this person ran off into the darkness never to be seen again,shortly after the other vanished leaving the driver on his own to lift my father out where he laid him on a piece of his lorry sheet,sadly unbeknown to this driver my father had a ruptured aorta in his stomach,fractured pelvis and no ribcage remaining,all smashed up by the sheet steel,my father still clung on to his life despite massive injuries only because he had a wife n 3 small children at home,due to his injuries he had no choice but to die,he lasted 25 mins,during police questioning the driver who needlessly caused the crash constantly lied and denied everything put to him by the police,he even said my father was driving too near the middle of the road,all absolute garbage,the fact sheet clearly tells the story,he also knew that he had killed the father of 3 children all below 11 years of age but he still lied to cover his backside,no sorrys,no remorse,no sympathy letters etc,due to the 2 people who vanished that morning who might of actually witnessed the crash,there was no prosecution of the dangerous lorry driver who killed my father,i just cant get over the fact how a man can harbour lies n guilt over what hes done for 33 years and carry on with his life as though nothing has happened,if any drivers or non drivers would like to make statements or ask questions then please do so with respect,please dont make angry remarks towards the other driver or the post might get removed,many thanks.
rickykirk:
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i cant put an a4 fact sheet on here any ideas.
rickykirk:
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when the person shouted hes lost his legs my fathers legs where covered in warn diesel oil he hadnt lost his legs but the person assumed this and ran off.
I hope you do find closure, but have you considered having counselling?.
That’s a sad story
I’m sorry about your farther but 1979 was a long time ago, perhaps it’s now time to move on and put it all behind you
Ricky
Such a sad story and unfortunately too common, May your Dad rest in peace.
I am not advising you what to do and I recently lost a much loved Father who I worshipped so I understand
your loss, albeit he died of old age and sadly your Dad did not tragic.
I walked around shell shocked for a Year and I cannot begin to understand how you felt being so young losing him.
But you know what you have to get on with your life, Look after your family and live your life that’s what he would be saying to you.
The blame game will only torment you for the rest of your life and you have a lot of it in front of you.
Try to let go, think of him every day, shed a tear and treasure his Memory.
With respect
Kenny
A sad tale. but a long time a go.
My partners father was killed along with a policeman on the M62 when she was 9 years old. His vehicle had broken down and he was talking to the copper on the hard shoulder when another lorry driver ran them both over. Terrible.
She tells me that you NEVER get over it, but with the help of some good counselling over a number of years she has moved on.
So my suggestion is to see your GP and talk to them, tell them you need some help.
As I said, you will move on, but don’t expect to get over it!
rickykirk:
please dont make angry remarks towards the other driver or the post might get removed,many thanks.
R.I.P your father, mate you need counselling it’s hard with no closure! As for other driver well says it all! People can switch off callously but it’s what’s left behind! I wish you well pal! Very sad story
Hi Ricky K.
What prompted you to make that post today?
Is today an anniversary/birthday or something mate?
I hope you can find somebody to talk with you about your dad and how he died, somebody like a grievance counsellor, because to have kept that with you for 30 odd years must be painful.
I bet your dad would have wanted you to find a bit of closure and happiness instead of the pain you express in your post.
Have a chat with somebody at your local health centre mate. If you keep this with you for much longer, you might snap or something. Not recommended whilst in charge of a wagon, you could end up doing something like the driver of the wagon that killed your dad.
Hope you can get out of this sadness somehow,
LandyLad
I have no idea what you have or are goin through, and I’m feel sorry for your loss.
The advice given on here is excellent, and I’m sure with counseling and talking this through you will receive excellent guidance.
All the best mate.
RIP to your father.
I also lost my father when I was ten years old, not thru’ an accident but illness. I am ashamed to say I wasn’t the best son he had but we as kids were told by our mum he was coming out of hospital again the following Wednesday and obviously looking forward to seeing him but on the Saturday before then we were told he had died that morning, May 6th 1960, the day Princess Margaret got married. Even now over fifty years later I still regret not having him around as I was growing up and regret the way I was. You don’t get over it, you just have to live with it and move on. I know how you feel but you must not let it eat away at your insides like it did mine for awhile.
You have been carrying a heavy burden for a long time. I think that a councilling session or 4 or 5 would help.As others have said you dont forget but you need to get your life sorted out for the other folks in your life.
I had lost both my parents by the time I was 14, that was back in 1977 and I still think about them everyday and still miss them. I seriously think that you should go and see a doctor about some councilling because it seems you are in desperate need of closure on this. It was a very tragic accident that killed your father and you have my sympathy.
Sad story my friend, I hope one day you find closure, someone out their has a very heavy concience.
R.I.P.
Hello Ricky
I’m sorry you’ve carried this heartache with you throughout your life, I suggest a word with your GP might help you come to terms with your loss. You need to try to move on & treasure the memories you have of the times you enjoyed with your Dad because I’m sure he loved sharing those times with you & would far rather you treasured his memory instead of always mourning his passing.
I wish I could find words that might help you further but I hope you can find some peace over this by sharing it with someone like a GP who may be able to refer you to someone who can help ease the hurt you’re carrying so you can move on & share your future with his memories.
We can’t turn the clock back but we still need to enjoy our future while keeping our memories close. I also lost my father when I was young & had problems coming to terms with his passing for many years. I have memories of times sent with him that I wouldn’t swap for anything. I’ve often wondered what he’d think if he could see what we have to work with today compared to his day.
Best wishes
BB
Ricky, I was once on the scene of a fatal head on between 2 cars, in the overtaking car and speeding on the brow of a hill was a man and his partner, in the other 2 grandparents and 3 grandchildren, the oldest was ten the youngest was under a year old, which I found cut in half in a child seat on the verge. The combined collision was over 150 mph.
Trust me and everyone else, get counselling, I did, I had to, it was crippling me. You are no less of a man for it. You won’t forget but you will learn how to cope with your feelings, don’t let that low life win by it destroying you as well, because sooner or later without help, it will. May your dad rest in peace, and may you find some in life. He would tell you to live life and move on, you know he would.
Phil
I can sympathise with you my friend, you will never forget when a parent leaves you, always wondering, and so much hurt and anger inside that wont come out, and you were so young too, but at least you had your mother there to comfort you, though difficult it must have been.
Seek councelling if you can, i wish i had done, and i`m not going to tell what happened to me, or the suffering i have endured for the past 50 years, but i wish you closure for the trauma you have suffered.
LandyLad:
Hi Ricky K.What prompted you to make that post today?
Is today an anniversary/birthday or something mate?
I hope you can find somebody to talk with you about your dad and how he died, somebody like a grievance counsellor, because to have kept that with you for 30 odd years must be painful.
I bet your dad would have wanted you to find a bit of closure and happiness instead of the pain you express in your post.
Have a chat with somebody at your local health centre mate. If you keep this with you for much longer, you might snap or something. Not recommended whilst in charge of a wagon, you could end up doing something like the driver of the wagon that killed your dad.
Hope you can get out of this sadness somehow,
LandyLad
thanks very much for you reply n respect,no its not my fathers anniversary thats 26th nov,i posted my fathers story on here at this point in time because my father was simply a hard working long distance lorry driver like lots of the lads on here so i feel at home so to speak,i feel better talking to fellow lorry drivers than anyone else,also i feel lorry drivers are more interested in my fathers case than anyone else because what happened to my father could happen to any of us,also lots of lorry drivers have children themselves just like my father had,i suppose the main reason was to get what happened to my father of my chest and who better to talk to about it than lorry drivers,i have been given lots of freindly and caring advice from the drivers on here of which i respect very much but there is no councillor on this planet who can help me because the problems i have carried are way too deep rooted and what ive put on here about my father is only the beginning.