maga:
first job driving class 2, just turned 18. crashed into a parked car at 4am while opening a banana. the parked car was situated 10 houses down from my own. car was a right off and all the neighbours came out to gawp, i just wanted a hole to swallow me upon the plus side, i went to dinner a few times with the girl who owned the car
You sir win the star prize for best chat up line!
‘Do you fancy going out with me? By the way, I’ve just written your car off’.
Great stuff!
Years ago i was working for a food delivery company in the midlands. On my way back from a drop i drove past a sign saying topsoil for sale £1 a yard or something like that. I thought it would be ideal for my large garden so i made a diversion and picked up about 2 or 3 yards of topsoil on the back of my lorry , paid the bloke and went on my way. Two hours later i dropped the topsoil of at home and then went back to the depot.
The transport manager met me and questioned me about the topsoil . Apparently the bloke i had paid had nothing to do with it , he was just a passer by who chanced his arm , and the real owner of the topsoil was demanding its return , so i had to take it back with a final written warning settled in my back pocket. 
Took a wrong trailer before. Got a call from planning asking me to check my trailer number. My heart sank when I saw what I’d done.
By a total stroke of luck my route was pretty much along the route it needed to go so someone took it off me and on it went for the rest of it’s journey and I went back to base. On agency and amazingly didn’t get the sack.
Probably when I went to Argos Bridgewater instead of Argos Basildon, ten years or so ago now.Can’t blame a sat nav, I just set off from the yard (in Bilston, West Midlands) convinced I was going to Bridgewater. I only realised when I got there and tried to book in … the security guard pointed out where it said “Basildon” on my notes. That was a good phone call to the office.
Took a load from Coventry to Middlewich & then realising I should have been in Welham Green.
Yep - I went from Alcester to Iceland Luton instead of Swindon. Entirely my own fault and I didn’t find out until the office clerk at Luton woke me up to tell me.
Years ago my first driving job was a courier with Securicor Omega Express out delivering one day in Ford transit with slam locks on the back door you can guess the rest went in the back to look for parcel wind slams door shut locked in after trying to boot my way out & shouting was the days before mobiles a couple of hours later my less than impressed mananger came out with a spare set of keys to open the door not my finest hour
Got a job with ASDA a few years ago, hadn’t driven trucks for a while so a bit nervous. Set off for the delivery to the aintree store. Found it no problem & made the delivery. I was buzzing all the way back, even better I put the empty trailer on the dock in one, handed in the paperwork & went home really chuffed with myself. Next night I found out I had pallets for 2 stores! Even better, I hadn’t opened the barn doors before putting the trailer on the bay, I’d left the number plate on and, oh yes, I took the keys home.
When i was driving a 7.5 tonner as a young pup. The gear lever and handbrake were next to one another, I changed gear But pulled the handbrake instead.
It was [zb]ing painful. and i think this is the first time i’ve ever told anyone.
limeyphil:
When i was driving a 7.5 tonner as a young pup. The gear lever and handbrake were next to one another, I changed gear But pulled the handbrake instead.
It was [zb]ing painful.
Bin out of hgv work for about 10 years but first days agency work class 1 had a load of steel to deliver and ended delivering to the invoice address instead of the delivery address this was 2 hours out of my way worst thing about it the delivery was only 2 minutes up the road safe to say I never got paid or got any more work from agency !!! Felt a proper ■■■■
I love this thread, good to know stuff just doesn’t happen to me lol.
Spare driver and new to tanker job, covering for regular driver and sent to BP Chemicals at Saltend to load and return to depot. First time on a multi compartment 8 legger tanker. Loaded 500 gals in 1000 gal front compartment. (flat lorry driver thinking keep weight off front steer, no power steering)
Came out of BP and stopped 50 yards down road as I thought steering arm had dropped off. Came back to Leeds with bad bout of sea sickness due to load slopping about and tanker wallowing badly. Caught regular driver as he pulled into yard after delivery next day, after he calmed down offered grovelled apology which was kindly accepted and written off to being a new lad.
Some years later in Dagenham, delivering linseed oil. Offloaded and carefully drained hoses etc into bucket carried for that purpose. Depot Manager was watching out of his office window and came out to congratulate me on a nice clean job. After a little chat and giving him some bull wotsit, I jumped back in cab and ran over bucket which I had forgotten to empty.
I once delivered some stone to a house down near Ascot on a drawbar. I was fully loaded, but all but 2 pallets were going else where. Anyways, I found the road, and questioned it from the entrance to it. It really wasn’t very big, there were trees on one side, and a storm drain on the other. Having been supplied a telephone number, I gave it a call and asked the usual questions about access. The gentleman was at the very end of this dead end road, in excess of a mile down. I then questioned about the size of the road, and was it possible to turn a wagon and trailer round down there. He informed me that they’ve had all manner of vehicles down there, in all shapes and sizes. Well, the guy sounded like he knew what he was on about, so I left the drag on, and proceeded down this particular road.
Well, one got to the end of this road, and one was not a happy bunny. The guy who I was delivering to was also pulling his hair out. I was only delivering two pallets, so why I had I turned up in a vehicle bigger than a transit van? (In other words, he hadn’t listened to me when I explained so was in a 44 ton drawbar). Anyways, I lifted his 2 pallets off with the crane, and since I had nowhere to turn around, it was too late to do anything except reverse out. This is where the fun started. I was all but 200 yards away from the end of the road when I made one slightly false move in correcting the trailer. The road under my drive tyres collapsed, leaving a full weight wagon sat on it’s diff, with a fully laden trailer attached. It was also 5pm, in darkest winter, with no lights on this little, in adopted road. I was stuck there, for the night, in a cab, tilted at an angle, awaiting the following day. . . . It was really not a nice night.
Very nearly a monumental ■■■■ up…
I ran out of hours on the M25 between services, had to get off and find somewhere for a break …quick. I parked in a sideroad, near Potters Bar, facing uphill with no streetlights on (must be saving pennies). Had a kip for 30 in the bunk, woke up to my alarm swung my legs out over the side to stand up and kicked the handbrake off. Half asleep still I noticed a dormant lamp post moving past the nearside window at a leisurely pace followed by a car. Blind (literally) panic sets in and, disoriented, I jump into the driver’s seat and land on the brake pedal. Lorry stops instantly, from what is now a fair lick in reverse and downhill, and I hear crash bang wallop from inside. Stopped so quick a strap had snapped and threw cages everywhere, luckily all empty. Stopped about 18 inches away from another lamp post. I don’t park on hills anymore 
With agency had to collect mobile home with owners dog after owner landed in hospital. Met warden at site already disconnecting hookup and draining water tanks. Due to interruption by neighboring campers he left to sort out something trivial but said to see his wife at the gate for some paperwork. No problem says I, noticing there was only a bicycle with a collie tied to it left to load.
Having picked up the receipts from his wife and confirmed I had the all the stuff and knew where I was going headed off.
20 minutes later stopped to call the agency, pre mobile era, only to be told Police are looking for you. Why?..because you had stolen a bicycle and a dog from the campsite.
Quickabout turn and back to site to discover that particular dog and bike belonged to the neighboring campers. Sorted in the end, but a lot of stick when I got back to office.
On the agency, checked the rota for following week on the Friday (before bank hol Monday) Picked up tractor and fridge from Brackley Monday morning, thought the yard was a bit quiet, anyway went off to the cold store at Swindon (Cricklade) and found it was all locked up. Phoned the boss to have a rant to be informed of course it was closed as it was bank holiday! Still got paid though (although not double time)
In my younger days in the Army, managed to miss the only sensible turning to what was then FVD Recklinghausen, problem was i was in a Scammel Commander with trailer, (Tank Transporter!) and the only way in was through the town centre. Cue the German news teams, Police, and a fair sized crowd of amused pedestrians! None of the other road users were smiling though, come to think of it, neither was i after my “no coffee” interview with the OC! Cost me 2 months of weekend duties and a fair sized b********g!
quite a few year’s ago i was loading out of robert hornes in northampton, had a 40 foot box on and backed so far on to the bay and got out to open the door’s, the restraining chain’s on the door’s were long gone and only had a bit of plastic tie to hold them open on the hook’s, anyway i fastens them open and get’s back in the motor to reverse on to the bay, as i was walking back to the motor the nearside door had come loose and swung back round to 90 degrees to the side of the trailer, i never noticed this when i reversed back and promptly shoved the roller shutter door clean off it’s rail’s into the warehouse. i have never felt such a berk in my whole life as when i had to first go into the warehouse and admire my handywork and then ring the gaffer to explain. took quite a while to live that one down.
Had more than my fair share , like multi drop round Doncaster I didn’t know route but cab mate did , both looking for drop ,next thing huge crunch and front of truck lifts 4 ft off ground ,looks up and I’m under a low bridge that I’m 12in too tall for ! Looks at cab mate " I thought you knew the route" " I’m sure this wernt here last time " came the reply , obviously my fault ,live and learn.
