Having recently experienced the nightmare of a close friend who went missing (and who has now been located 2 weeks later) I just wanted to share a few of the things we did in case this could help the family in any way.
Before I go into those ‘things’ though, I must say that, in the end, NOTHING that we did helped locate him, it was down to HIM having the guts to pick up the phone. HOWEVER, we were on the right lines with our search, and we are confident with what we know now about his whereabouts and his circumstances that we would have found him in the end.
Forgive me if I am suggesting things that have already been done. Some of them are very obvious. They are in no particular order.
- Phone absolutely EVERYONE he knows. We were told by the police that very often people asked friends to ‘hide’ them for a while. Not because they’d done anything wrong, but if they needed time and space away from home. Also, ask the friends when they last saw him, what they talked about etc etc.
-Get Steven’s picture out there quickly. We used anyone who said ‘if there’s anything I can do…’ to get out there putting posters up in places that you think would be appropriate. Don’t be afraid to recruit help from his friends and family.
-Get someone on the computer on forums like this where total strangers can help by printing off the poster and asking for it to be pinned up in cafes, service stations etc - anywhere where Stephen may go. This gets his face out there on posters in hundreds more places than the family could manage.
-Get his last bank statement - anything odd there?
-Put a trace thing on bank/credit cards etc.
-If he had a computer at home, try and get someone to see what web sites he’d been looking at - had he booked anything/bought anything corresponded with anyone on-line?
-Check phone records - land lines and mobiles.
-Are there any trade journals that a classified ad could be put in? Steven may need work at some point, and any future employers in his trade may recognise him from the ad. (If he hadn’t got in touch, we think this is how we would have located our friend)
-Once the police are involved, don’t just leave it to them to go looking for him - they won’t. But if you give them a list of things to check every day, they’ll do it. Things like passenger lists on buses, trains, planes, ferries etc. CCTV footage etc. All the things you’re not allowed to see as Joe Public. Don’t be frightened to keep ringing the police with your ‘to do’ list. Do your homework first though and get contact telephone numbers for them, contact names, times of ferries etc. The less ‘faff’ they have to do the more likely they are to help you.
-Are any of his belongings missing from home - most obvious - passport, driving licence, less obvious - clothes, books other personal possessions
In our case, after 2 weeks of this, all the family and friends really did start to think that our friend would never be found. It was at this point that he finally contacted his wife. Whilst he is still not home, huge progress has been made from that one phone call and we are very hopeful that there will be a positive outcome - however long it takes.
My heart goes out to Steven’s family and friends. I have experienced the pain they must be feeling, and wouldn’t wish it on anyone. They must try to remain positive and proactive and must NEVER GIVE UP. Unless they hear otherwise, he is out there somewhere, and this place is a great place to start getting as many people as possible looking for him.
Good luck - and if I can help in any way I will be more than happy to do so.
Lisa
