alder:
chester1:
Aparantly in the past they have used language experts who can differentiate dialects and calling there bluff to send them back some where worse than where the came from and they have coughed there original countries of originsI can vouch for this, they detected the accents of a couple of thousand Pakistani migrants last year and sent them straight back to Bradford. [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38]
As long as it wasn’t Rotherham
I have a plan, a plan so cunning you could pin a tail on it and call it a fox! What we do is annex a Britain sized chunk of Australia (on the coast obviously, we’re not savages), we then pick a date, eg December 1st and announce that from that day on ALL our border controls will be abandoned and all people are welcome. Then, (this is the genius part) the night of 30th November we all quietly sneak out and disappear off to the new UK version 2 and leave them all to it. No need to thank me, you’re welcome.
but wouldn’t that makes us refugees in OZ ? 
del949:
but wouldn’t that makes us refugees in OZ ?
A bonus! As according to some on here, we can claim lots of benefits. 
del949:
but wouldn’t that makes us refugees in OZ ?
Nah Del, we annex it by force. What we do is field lacklustre teams of cricketers and rugby players and while the Aussies attention is on making the bloody poms look silly we sneak in when they’re not looking and put a big fence up.
Edit to add; just heard on the news that the England cricket team are actually doing quite well against the Aussies so maybe my plan will need some tweaking.
ROG:
Why do they want the UK and no other safe EU country ?
We want english benefits. Me speak enough english to know what benefits I’m entitled to however. Me even get free interpreter laid on so I can claim said benefits.
drhs:
Ryy86:
Allow them into the tunnel all at once then fill the c.unt with water.Problem? Pfft what problem
well said …that will stop the vermin coming into my F…KING country
Let’s re-post this one by way of a possible “solution to the illegal aliens coming through the tunnel” problem. 
the maoster:
I have a plan, a plan so cunning you could pin a tail on it and call it a fox! What we do is annex a Britain sized chunk of Australia (on the coast obviously, we’re not savages), we then pick a date, eg December 1st and announce that from that day on ALL our border controls will be abandoned and all people are welcome. Then, (this is the genius part) the night of 30th November we all quietly sneak out and disappear off to the new UK version 2 and leave them all to it. No need to thank me, you’re welcome.
The Ozzies are more interested in turning the country into a Chinese colony instead of a British one so we can forget that. 
The simplest plan is to tell them all we’ve changed our minds and we’ve put on a free ferry charter just for them.Then when they are all happily on board and under way the SAS and Marines guard detail appears and tells them the next stop is Lagos where they will be disembarked and provided with the air fare to get them home from there on arrival.
The costs of the plan,including any bribes required to be paid to the Nigerian government 
, to be shared equally by the EU.
Carryfast:
the maoster:
I have a plan, a plan so cunning you could pin a tail on it and call it a fox! What we do is annex a Britain sized chunk of Australia (on the coast obviously, we’re not savages), we then pick a date, eg December 1st and announce that from that day on ALL our border controls will be abandoned and all people are welcome. Then, (this is the genius part) the night of 30th November we all quietly sneak out and disappear off to the new UK version 2 and leave them all to it. No need to thank me, you’re welcome.The Ozzies are more interested in turning the country into a Chinese colony instead of a British one so we can forget that.
The simplest plan is to tell them all we’ve changed our minds and we’ve put on a free ferry charter just for them.Then when they are all happily on board and under way the SAS and Marines guard detail appears and tells them the next stop is Lagos where they will be disembarked and provided with the air fare to get them home from there on arrival.
The costs of the plan,including any bribes required to be paid to the Nigerian government
…or you could even use an old banger hulk, sail it out to some place off the continental shelf, and scuttle it.
I wonder if that’s what Australia have been doing these past few years, seeing as there have been a number of rickety boats sinking in what happens to be trench waters off their coasts… Strangely not in the coral sea where it’s shallower…
Conspiracy theory of the week
You are not going to glean much damning evidence from a vessel with 500+ immigrants on it being sunk with a limpet mine in a trench where it’s 5-6 miles deep. Even if you find the wreck, there’s only a handful of bathyscopes capable of getting down there, and “Yuman Rights Watch” ain’t gonna be given access to any of them. 
tommy t:
Only one problem to send them back they have to know /prove where they are from, as it is fairly well known that they will destroy any ID they have once in the uk . no ID they can’t send them anywhere under current legislation , So apart from all talk and throwing money at the problem this government are clueless
That’s the problem with this country - we stick by the rules when no one else does. Just throw them all in the cargo hold of a Hercules, lob in a few parachutes and chuck them out somewhere over Africa.
Talking of defences in the tunnel. I’m sure that they put some form of electrified pads/grids or similar devices in the tunnel to stop rabid animals when they built it and rabies getting into the uk , not sure what systems if any they have in place in the service tunnel though
But if they did enter the tunnel and attempt to walk through it they the British police and army if need be would just wait for them to reach the uk entrance and arrest them all and then deport them back to frogland
Well i just read this “The electric anti-rabies fences - which proved susceptible to salt erosion - are no longer operational (and have not been for a while).”
Coo, we’re going to get tough are we…maybe there’s a referendum due… 
Cameron’s been talking tough rubbish about immigration/asylum/invasion whatever you want to call it for all of his tenure, and the number of people getting here one way or another has increased consistently, please don’t anyone say they believe a word that man spouts.
Winseer:
Carryfast:
the maoster:
I have a plan, a plan so cunning you could pin a tail on it and call it a fox! What we do is annex a Britain sized chunk of Australia (on the coast obviously, we’re not savages), we then pick a date, eg December 1st and announce that from that day on ALL our border controls will be abandoned and all people are welcome. Then, (this is the genius part) the night of 30th November we all quietly sneak out and disappear off to the new UK version 2 and leave them all to it. No need to thank me, you’re welcome.The Ozzies are more interested in turning the country into a Chinese colony instead of a British one so we can forget that.
The simplest plan is to tell them all we’ve changed our minds and we’ve put on a free ferry charter just for them.Then when they are all happily on board and under way the SAS and Marines guard detail appears and tells them the next stop is Lagos where they will be disembarked and provided with the air fare to get them home from there on arrival.
The costs of the plan,including any bribes required to be paid to the Nigerian government
…or you could even use an old banger hulk, sail it out to some place off the continental shelf, and scuttle it.
I wonder if that’s what Australia have been doing these past few years, seeing as there have been a number of rickety boats sinking in what happens to be trench waters off their coasts… Strangely not in the coral sea where it’s shallower…
Conspiracy theory of the week
You are not going to glean much damning evidence from a vessel with 500+ immigrants on it being sunk with a limpet mine in a trench where it’s 5-6 miles deep. Even if you find the wreck, there’s only a handful of bathyscopes capable of getting down there, and “Yuman Rights Watch” ain’t gonna be given access to any of them.
Ironically the bleeding heart socialists would view both options as being as bad and the same as each other.
No, He spouts the same as all the other tory toffs That being Bovine excrement . Politicians are famous for speaking BS
This government couldn’t give a rats ■■■ about anything that doesn’t affect them that’s the self-servatives for you,
An 120 extra frog police isn’t really going to do much, neither will 7million quid
Juddian:
Coo, we’re going to get tough are we…maybe there’s a referendum due…Cameron’s been talking tough rubbish about immigration/asylum/invasion whatever you want to call it for all of his tenure, and the number of people getting here one way or another has increased consistently, please don’t anyone say they believe a word that man spouts.
^ This.
As will be clear when he shows his true colours if/when Le Pen is elected in France.
Carryfast:
chester1:
They are going to other countries it just the UK that is difficult to get intoIf it’s easier to stay where they are on the continent then why risk their lives trying to hide in trucks etc to get here.The fact is,unlike soft touch UK,most of the continent,especially France,doesn’t follow all the bleeding heart bs ‘racist’ agenda regarding not making the immigrants welcome there.
So France’s lack of bleeding heart bs racist agenda is the reason they granted asylum to more people last year than the UK.
muckles:
Carryfast:
chester1:
They are going to other countries it just the UK that is difficult to get intoIf it’s easier to stay where they are on the continent then why risk their lives trying to hide in trucks etc to get here.The fact is,unlike soft touch UK,most of the continent,especially France,doesn’t follow all the bleeding heart bs ‘racist’ agenda regarding not making the immigrants welcome there.
So France’s lack of bleeding heart bs racist agenda is the reason they granted asylum to more people last year than the UK.
The difference being that,unlike here,opposition to Hollande’s policies isn’t scared of the r words in the form of repatriation or being branded a so called racist for using it.On that note is there any confirmation yet in the UK news that Cameron ( or Hollande ) have actually put the solution of repatriation on the table as stated by the OP ?.
Carryfast:
muckles:
Carryfast:
chester1:
They are going to other countries it just the UK that is difficult to get intoIf it’s easier to stay where they are on the continent then why risk their lives trying to hide in trucks etc to get here.The fact is,unlike soft touch UK,most of the continent,especially France,doesn’t follow all the bleeding heart bs ‘racist’ agenda regarding not making the immigrants welcome there.
So France’s lack of bleeding heart bs racist agenda is the reason they granted asylum to more people last year than the UK.
The difference being that,unlike here,opposition to Hollande’s policies isn’t scared of the r words in the form of repatriation or being branded a so called racist for using it.On that note is there any confirmation yet in the UK news that Cameron ( or Hollande ) have actually put the solution of repatriation on the table as stated by the OP ?.
Regardless of anybody’s policies they still proccess and accept more asylum seekers than the UK? So obviously the opposition to the policy isn’t working very well.
muckles:
Carryfast:
muckles:
So France’s lack of bleeding heart bs racist agenda is the reason they granted asylum to more people last year than the UK.The difference being that,unlike here,opposition to Hollande’s policies isn’t scared of the r words in the form of repatriation or being branded a so called racist for using it.On that note is there any confirmation yet in the UK news that Cameron ( or Hollande ) have actually put the solution of repatriation on the table as stated by the OP ?.
Regardless of anybody’s policies they still proccess and accept more asylum seekers than the UK? So obviously the opposition to the policy isn’t working very well.
The fact is the French government doesn’t represent the general feeling throughout France.Which is why the FN is ( much ) stronger there than UKIP is here and it’s why the immigrants are voting with their feet.
IE the French Socialists might be saying one thing that the immigrants are welcome.But the population is saying the opposite in the form of either go home or zb off to England where they’ll be more welcoming.
How about giving a septic dentist a couple of bob to pick a few off.
Its a start