On my travels this morning I discovered that the ham in the fridge I had last night probably should have gone in the bin. Feeling like I was possibly going to have a ■■■■ with a skin on or possibly mudguards were in order I pulled into Leicester services. Time 05.30. Could I get parked? Could I buggery . Plenty of places but all blocked off by people parked across the ends.
Bloody annoying. Had to clench for another hour and half.
No underpants were ruined in the making of this post
Why didn’t you park by or near the pumps and use the toilets in the petrol garage 
By the sounds of it you wouldn’t have been there long 
i am so glad no underpants were caused any unnecessary suffering, there is far to much of this going on these days in transport, driver have no respect anymore for there underpants, i blame there parents
midlifetrucker:
"…Time 05.30. Could I get parked? Could I buggery . Plenty of places but all blocked off by people parked across the ends.Bloody annoying. Had to clench for another hour and half.
Not both ends surely? Couldn’t you have reversed in from the open end? Or parked at the top or near to the pumps. I can’t remember a time I’ve not been able to park, especially if I’m only going to be there a few minutes.
When the bomb doors go to automatic there’s not usually much time to spare - you were a lucky man
if im gettin g the warm ■■■ rings going to my face then im afraid its getting parked were ever i stop, and that could mean blocking people in, if all else fails he back doors get open and i bag and wrap, just avoid the cheap bags with small holes in the bottom, tescos will reject the load if you use one of these
Rentadent:
midlifetrucker:
"…Time 05.30. Could I get parked? Could I buggery . Plenty of places but all blocked off by people parked across the ends.Bloody annoying. Had to clench for another hour and half.
Not both ends surely? Couldn’t you have reversed in from the open end? Or parked at the top or near to the pumps. I can’t remember a time I’ve not been able to park, especially if I’m only going to be there a few minutes.
It was chaos trust me.
Plugster:
if im gettin g the warm ■■■ rings going to my face then im afraid its getting parked were ever i stop, and that could mean blocking people in, if all else fails he back doors get open and i bag and wrap, just avoid the cheap bags with small holes in the bottom, tescos will reject the load if you use one of these
typical of tescos : )
Trumpet trousers
Hahaha I love a good pooing story, I’m prone to the odd accident a couple of times a year, though mine are usually first thing in the morning whilst walking the dog . I can go from totally ok to def con 1 in a matter of minutes. You’ll often find me doing the ministry of funny walks whilst clenching my bum cheeks together. My best ■■■ story is one morning I had to jump in some bushes and fire out a load of chile concarne , whilst doing my best to clean myself up with leaves I heard the dog making the weird pig noise she does whilst really enjoying her food , yes you guessed it , she was cleaning up my mess . Anyhow we get back indoors and the dog jumps up on the settee and starts licking er indoors face, which I found most amusing as we’d had a row the night before and I still had the hump . Still haven’t told her that story
I love going outdoors, I call it danger sh**eing, the risk of getting caught is a right buzz, and it’s slightly less embarrassing than my other hobby!!!