Also, standard one is ‘its not far on the map’. Maybe not on a map in a diary. Lol
At an RDC…
“Its only two pallets, can you not drive past the other (20) trucks and get it tipped…”
“I’ve spoken to the manager and he says they will tip you as soon as you arrive”
“Yes I know the M1 and M25 are shut, and I know its rush hour and there is two foot of snow, but you are the driver, find an alternative route”
“yes, I understand that you cannot drive 200 miles in a one hour to meet your time slot, but I will ring them and everything will be fine”
Commonly heard from our finest …
" What d’ya mean you’re parked up ? " - when you’ve done 14hrs 45m and a 9hr 45 drive
( they operate a 15m leeway to avoid infringements )
" You’ve got a 10 hour drive don’t forget " - when you’ve done 9.45
" You can work a 15 again " - when on 14h 45m
" Just waiting for the cross-docks to arrive " - cos they’re stuck in th M6 n/b Jam - again !
" Just started loading now " - even though the warehouse is actually still picking it !
my all time favourite though is the buck-passers standard…
" that’s the planners fault, we put on the system that it’s your last day / you have a
hospital appointment tommorrow / you’re short of hours "
limeyphil:
I fail to see what access or most other problems has got to do with the office?
If you can’t see the customer, Go and find him.
Why set off without the relevant contact details?
Don’t people check their map and think mmmmmmm, Maybe that’s just the office address?
Dosn’t anyone ring ahead with an arrival time? I know i do.
If the office want to know anything, Then i’m sure they’ll ring me.
They usually get a text “I’ll be tipped Tuesday pm, possibly early Wednesday, So pull your finger out”.
It’s more to do with what the customer doesn’t inform you of, or office staff taking have baked details, in terms of access, here in the rural west of Wales some places can be difficult to access , the customer won’t let you know this in advance & if you do ask you always get the " we’ve had lorrys down here before line" & some times they won’t be on site or the phone is off or not answered , now if you have 10 ton of stuff for them ranging from bulk bags of sand to 6m lengths of 9x3 and your delivery note says to put it round the back on concrete slab, yet the access is not wide enough & the driveway is more of a bridle way a few hundred metres long & the only accessible place to leave it is in the main road, you can see why you might have a problem & "see what you can do " is not the response you were looking for ! …
kemaro:
limeyphil:
I fail to see what access or most other problems has got to do with the office?
If you can’t see the customer, Go and find him.
Why set off without the relevant contact details?
Don’t people check their map and think mmmmmmm, Maybe that’s just the office address?
Dosn’t anyone ring ahead with an arrival time? I know i do.
If the office want to know anything, Then i’m sure they’ll ring me.
They usually get a text “I’ll be tipped Tuesday pm, possibly early Wednesday, So pull your finger out”.It’s more to do with what the customer doesn’t inform you of, or office staff taking have baked details, in terms of access, here in the rural west of Wales some places can be difficult to access , the customer won’t let you know this in advance & if you do ask you always get the " we’ve had lorrys down here before line" & some times they won’t be on site or the phone is off or not answered , now if you have 10 ton of stuff for them ranging from bulk bags of sand to 6m lengths of 9x3 and your delivery note says to put it round the back on concrete slab, yet the access is not wide enough & the driveway is more of a bridle way a few hundred metres long & the only accessible place to leave it is in the main road, you can see why you might have a problem & "see what you can do " is not the response you were looking for ! …
Totally agree with that response. Until you’ve done builders merchant work its difficult to understand the problems you face. Sometimes customers drives are 1/2mile down tight roads that you just cant get to and leaving them out on the road is just not an option so you may have to call the office to ask if it can be taken there on a transit for example. Quite often the paperwork doesnt have a number, if you’ve got 20drops you cant turn round in the morning and say you need to have everyones number because 9 times out of 10 you dont need to call them.
And just to add not all of us a international hero lorry drivers, unlike yourself some of us actually have (or in my case did have) jobs that actually require skill.
A little picture of access problems that builders merchant drivers face on an almost daily basis
Saaamon:
kemaro:
limeyphil:
I fail to see what access or most other problems has got to do with the office?
If you can’t see the customer, Go and find him.
Why set off without the relevant contact details?
Don’t people check their map and think mmmmmmm, Maybe that’s just the office address?
Dosn’t anyone ring ahead with an arrival time? I know i do.
If the office want to know anything, Then i’m sure they’ll ring me.
They usually get a text “I’ll be tipped Tuesday pm, possibly early Wednesday, So pull your finger out”.It’s more to do with what the customer doesn’t inform you of, or office staff taking have baked details, in terms of access, here in the rural west of Wales some places can be difficult to access , the customer won’t let you know this in advance & if you do ask you always get the " we’ve had lorrys down here before line" & some times they won’t be on site or the phone is off or not answered , now if you have 10 ton of stuff for them ranging from bulk bags of sand to 6m lengths of 9x3 and your delivery note says to put it round the back on concrete slab, yet the access is not wide enough & the driveway is more of a bridle way a few hundred metres long & the only accessible place to leave it is in the main road, you can see why you might have a problem & "see what you can do " is not the response you were looking for ! …
Totally agree with that response. Until you’ve done builders merchant work its difficult to understand the problems you face. Sometimes customers drives are 1/2mile down tight roads that you just cant get to and leaving them out on the road is just not an option so you may have to call the office to ask if it can be taken there on a transit for example. Quite often the paperwork doesnt have a number, if you’ve got 20drops you cant turn round in the morning and say you need to have everyones number because 9 times out of 10 you dont need to call them.
And just to add not all of us a international hero lorry drivers, unlike yourself some of us actually have (or in my case did have) jobs that actually require skill.
A little picture of access problems that builders merchant drivers face on an almost daily basis
I’ve drove a grab and skip lorry and yes some of the places your expected to get down are ridiculous, phone office same ■■■■■■■■■ response “the customer says you can get a truck down there” well they can have a go at it then 
adam1987:
“the customer says you can get a truck down there” well they can have a go at it then
That was always a good one lol!
Guy i worked with was abit on the large side so he kept a broom handle next to his seat so he could push his n/s mirror out when he caught it on hedges going down lanes lol.
topdog1606:
Also, standard one is ‘its not far on the map’. Maybe not on a map in a diary. Lol
Yeh, like it’s not far away on the map… 6 pages and across the staples in the middle amounts to less than 5 inches after all. 
Don’t know if this is true or not, but there’s a well known tipper firm in Derbyshire, that allegedly kept saying to this guy who was looking for a colliery down South Wales, and kept ringing in, to say he couldn’t find it. The only answer he kept getting was " keep looking, you’ll find it " the next day they were thinking where the hell is he, decides to ring his home to see if they had heard from him, and he answered, apparently, he was that wazed off, he’d come home somehow, leaving the truck down South Wales, when they asked him where it was, he just said " keep looking you"ll find it " and put phone down…
perkibre:
Don’t know if this is true or not, but there’s a well known tipper firm in Derbyshire, that allegedly kept saying to this guy who was looking for a colliery down South Wales, and kept ringing in, to say he couldn’t find it. The only answer he kept getting was " keep looking, you’ll find it " the next day they were thinking where the hell is he, decides to ring his home to see if they had heard from him, and he answered, apparently, he was that wazed off, he’d come home somehow, leaving the truck down South Wales, when they asked him where it was, he just said " keep looking you"ll find it " and put phone down…
Now that’s made my day.
It dosn’t matter if it’s true or not, It’s still a good story.
love it!!!
Winseer:
topdog1606:
Also, standard one is ‘its not far on the map’. Maybe not on a map in a diary. LolYeh, like it’s not far away on the map… 6 pages and across the staples in the middle amounts to less than 5 inches after all.
“Tewksbury … it’s just down the road from Reading” 
I normally just get the if ya cant find the place get out ya cab and have a look pmsl
I found ex drivers who were now in the transport office the worst . ,not knocking them but seamed to want to get more out of you , yes they knew the tricks we use to play and the un official breaks before you got back or the coffee breaks and washing your truck every day .
I must admit I use to hang the job out and was always on the wash but I was never told off so I just carried on ,one old driver did say by being on the wash every day, would make the boss think he was not getting a full days driving out of us , but one day the boss came down to me as I was washing my truck and said , he was glad that I did look after his truck . .
Another thing about the old days was the dodgey nights out !
Kevwall:
The best one for me is when they ring you asking you where you are, when you know they’ve got a tracking system because they have a 50 inch plasma in the office with all the vehicles on a map, you know where I am so why the [zb] are you asking
When our gaffer does this I just tell him im in the next town down to where I really am or 2 junctions further back on the motorway. They always tell the customer hell be with you in ten minutes max so what does it matter.
12 pallets of frozen for Livingston driver - urgent - we will get you a handy backload .
tipped - ring office - I’m tipped now where am i going for that handy backload ?
Load of fruit waiting for you in Tilbury - quick as you can driver .
Kevwall:
The best one for me is when they ring you asking you where you are, when you know they’ve got a tracking system because they have a 50 inch plasma in the office with all the vehicles on a map, you know where I am so why the [zb] are you asking
Our wagons were fitted with trackers. But I still kept getting the ‘where are you?’ question.
I thought it quite odd. But one day, the transport managers assistant was showing me how the trackers worked. The tracker associated with my wagon said my wagon was in the Thetford depot, and had been for 18 months.
Turns out my tracker went faulty, and no one ever thought about fixing it.
For the next few months, I used this to my advantage. I started preforming miracles on delivery times.
Then one day, my radio packed up. While fitting another, I noticed that the wiring for the tracker had been cut. So I fixed it.
(tracker was on cab roof above radio)
No one in the office noticed for a month.
When i was on containers tipping Bradford or Leeds…lots of warehouses owned or leased by asians and in the most unaccessable places…ie horse and cart days type places …turn up with 40ft box , just back down here driver, yeh ok mate, we had loads down here…is that rite ? heres the keys buddy you back it in while i go for breakfast, no…no driver we do it here wont take long …6 hours later, crap job.
One of our drivers was having an argument with the TM about the length of his run on the phone… All I heard the TM say was “I would never ask you to break the law, but if you do, make sure you do it safely”.
Thank god for google earth eh! dont know how many times office told i cant get in with artic ,
answer:it’s ok we looked on google earth this comes from clowns who havn’t got a car licence 