Any pictures of the head-shaped dents in the pavement?
Silly, silly security guard; if only he’d known about your two star cadet status, He could’ve saved himself a long stretch in hospital.
Dipper_Dave:
Captain Caveman 76:
Dipper_Dave:
In these situations I find it best to make sure this actually happened when in reality it’s more likely you where having a ■■■■■■■■■ about men in flip flops.
Nothing to be ashamed of one time in the barracks I dreamt I was licking a massive ice cream, to cut a long story short that was the end of my army career.You dreamt about licking the end of your army career?
More my army carer
…I thought it was ok, as long as you both have one foot on the floor?
I think your rescue van might be a while, your clearly not in the UK, cos I’ve never been in a services that has “Security” never mind dog wielding Security!!
Also, from what I’ve read on here so far, I don’t think many folks will be rushing to help you, or him or all of you…
ItsJoe:
I’ve banged my knee
Whilst taking a pee, that’s impressive length…no wonder your fiancé always looks shocked, must be like a teenager holding a basketball going at her?
Ha ha, you roll in your own pish.
A.
Adonis.:
Ha ha, you roll in your own pish.A.
Come on he was being banged up by a flip flop
Sent from my SM-G920F using Tapatalk
I’m curious as to why the driver that was parked next to you was involved too,was this a pre arranged thing?
Bit of 3 way hi viz action with a dog…it’s like one of those channel 5 programmes!!!,Better be careful,unless the dog gave his permission it’s illegal to include it in your twisted games.
ItsJoe:
Lancsdriver70:
…is this a wind-up?..or a poor attempt at trolling?…if not, and if it’s genuine…whereabouts are you parked?
No I’m being serious. I’m parked up at the (removed) . I got out of the cab with a torch and he must of thought I was trying to break into the lorry. He was definitely smoking weed or something because he didn’t seem right. My TM is sending out a driver in a van so I can go home because I’m seriously stressed out right now. I’ve banged my knee and I don’t want to stay here.
Edit: removed service station name in case it is breaks rules
Get that knee looked at Joe, hopefully there will be no long term damage done but the mental scars may take longer to heal. I am so sorry to hear this news and on behalf of all of the lorry drivers I apologise for them. Please don’t let this ordeal stop you living the dream Joe, I wish you a speedy recovery.
Grumpy Dad:
Is this real or did you eat cheese before going to bed and have a wild nightmare? Did this driver / security guard not think it strange at any point he was grappling with a man who was unable to defend himself due to him having his todger in his hand?
Think this will help him with todger issues 
Sent from my SM-G920F using Tapatalk
xichrisxi:
I’m curious as to why the driver that was parked next to you was involved too,was this a pre arranged thing?
Bit of 3 way hi viz action with a dog…it’s like one of those channel 5 programmes!!!,Better be careful,unless the dog gave his permission it’s illegal to include it in your twisted games.
I think the dog is in it
Sent from my SM-G920F using Tapatalk
This did not happen.If it did were did it happen 
@ ItsJoe, Tuesday you claimed to be in Denmark, assuming the services you had your altercation is in the uk how the hell did you get there?
From Denmark you need a ferry from Rødby to Puttgarten in Germany, make your way through Hamburg and the roadworks, plus all the other roadworks you’ll no doubt of been stuck in, from there you’d have gone for the Rotterdam boat or possibly Hoek Von Holland and would get on the WEDNESDAY night boat getting you in the UK approx 8 am this morning, yet at 4am you claim to be in a truck park watching willies.
tango boy:
Why do you all reply to uktramp/it’sjoe/drpenis
Don’t feed the troll!
our helping of todays fantasy pish is starting early.
im just surprised that we dont have photographic evidence of the entire event.
surely any self respecting stobart spotter would never go anywhere without camera in hand just in case theres the opperchancity of a fleeting glimps of one of eddies finest.
just more trolling pish…the sad part is that others dont actually read back to know that and reply as if its actually genuine.
ive just passed 2 mins typing this so it does serve some purpose of filling in your breaks.
Note to Admin from DieselDave on another of these b.s threads .
Random crap
Posts that do not make any sensible contribution to the forum will simply go
the arbitors of this will be the admin team.
This is more random b.s .
smfh
Attacked? 
…Are you ok?
Tell you what Joe, we’ll all make a collection on here. 
For the Security Guard to show our appreciation.
He sounds a good judge of character to me. 
Beetlejuice:
Note to Admin from DieselDave on another of these b.s threads .Random crap
Posts that do not make any sensible contribution to the forum will simply go
the arbitors of this will be the admin team.This is more random b.s .
smfh
Thanks for your observation.
Let’s hope that ‘joe’ sees it. 
Hope he took you for a nice meal before bouncing on top of you for 5 minutes.
dieseldave:
Beetlejuice:
Note to Admin from DieselDave on another of these b.s threads .Random crap
Posts that do not make any sensible contribution to the forum will simply go
the arbitors of this will be the admin team.This is more random b.s .
smfh
Thanks for your observation.
Let’s hope that ‘joe’ sees it.
+!
dont be holding your breath now… 
I find it very amusing…especially as we have had replies from UKT, and GI JOE who both resigned from T/Net a short while ago…my how they love the press reports, some cant live without them can they. I am sure though that this sketch came from a Benny Hill film…sounds a lot like it to me and i cant stop laughing.
ItsJoe:
I’m writing this for my own protection. I woke up at 4am to have a pee next to my trailer and next thing I know I’m being rugby tackled by some cross-eyed man in flip-flops. He begins screaming that he’s security and that he has a dog. At this point he’s on top of me and I’m laying in my own urine along with the driver parked up next to me. This security guard must’ve been on drugs because he sat on top of me for at least 5 minutes before realising I’ the double decker next to him before letting me up and apologising.I’m physically shaken right now. I don’t think I’m going to get back to sleep.
Bloody hell at my age that could of been the end of me , though I only wear my boots / boxers when I get out in the night for a pee , i think the sight of a old man just in his underwear with him todger out is more likely to have them running than attacking , but to be honest I’ve never had any problems .