Well incorrect politics 
Bloke at a horse race whispers to Paddy next to him, do you want the winner of the next race?
Paddy replies no tanks, I’ve only got a small garden.
Paddy and Mick found 3 hand grenades and decided to take them to the police station.
Mick What if one explodes before we get there?
Paddy: Well lie and say we only found two! 
A coach load of paddys on a mystery tour decided to run a sweepstake to guess where they were goingÂ…… the driver won £52! 
Paddys racing snail is not winning races any more. So he decided to take its shell off to reduce its weight and make him more aerodynamic. It didn’t work, if anything it made him more sluggish.
Paddy finds a sandwich with two wires stickin out of it. He phones the police and says "Bejesas I’ve just found a sandwich dat looks like a bomb.
The operator asks, "is it tickin?, Paddy says “No I tink it’s beef”