Hi
Please read the following information carefully and follow all instructions given, have a merry but safe Christmas
Merry Christmas …All employees planning to dash through the snow in a one horse open sleigh, going over the fields and laughing all the way are advised that a Risk Assessment will be required addressing the safety of an open sleigh for members of the public. This assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly where there are multiple passengers. Please note that permission must also be obtained in writing from landowners before their fields may be entered. To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.Benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available for collection by any shepherds planning or required to watch their flocks at night. While provision has also been made for remote monitoring of flocks by CCTV cameras from a centrally heated shepherd observation hut, all users of this facility are reminded that an emergency response plan must be submitted to account for known risks to the flocks. The angel of the lord is additionally reminded that, prior to shining his/her glory all around, s/he must confirm that all shepherds are wearing appropriate Personal Protective Equipment to account for the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and the overwhelming effects of Glory.Following last year’s well publicised case, everyone is advised that Equal Opportunities legislation prohibits any comment with regard to the ruddiness of any part of Mr. R. Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer from reindeer games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence.While it is acknowledged that gift bearing is a common practice in various parts of the world, particularly the Orient, everyone is reminded that the bearing of gifts is subject to Hospitality Guidelines and all gifts must be registered. This applies regardless of the individual, even royal personages. It is particularly noted that direct gifts of currency or gold are specifically precluded, while caution is advised regarding other common gifts such as aromatic resins that may evoke allergic reactions.
Finally, in the recent case of the infant found tucked up in a manger without any crib for a bed, Social Services have been advised and will be arriving shortly
All employees planning to dash through the snow in a one-horse open (or closed) sleigh, going over the fields and laughing all the way are advised that a Risk Assessment will be required addressing the safety of an open or closed sleigh for members of the public. This assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly where there are or may be multiple passengers. Please note that permission must also be obtained in writing from landowners before their fields may be entered on or over, as the case may be. To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.
Benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available for collection by any shepherds planning or required to watch their flocks by night. Whilst provision has also been made for remote monitoring of flocks by CCTV cameras from a centrally heated shepherd observation hut, all users of this facility are reminded that an emergency response plan must be submitted to account for any known anticipated risks to the flocks. The angel of the Lord is additionally reminded that, prior to shining his/her Glory all around, he/she must confirm that all shepherds are wearing appropriate Personal Protective Equipment to protect against the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and the overwhelming effects of Glory.
Following last years well-publicised case, everyone is advised that Equal Opportunities legislation prohibits any comment with regard to the redness of any part of Mr R and/or Ms R Reindeer (jointly, singly or otherwise collectively hereinafter referred to as ‘Reindeer’.) Further to this, exclusion of Reindeer from Reindeer Games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence.
Whilst it is acknowledged that gift bearing is a common practice in various parts of the world, particularly the Orient, everyone is reminded that the bearing of gifts is subject to Hospitality Guidelines and all gifts must be registered. This applies regardless of the individual, even royal personages. It is particularly noted that direct gifts of currency or gold are specifically prohibited, whilst caution is advised regarding other common gifts such as aromatic resins that may provoke allergic reactions.
Finally, in the recent instance of the infant found tucked up in a manger without any crib for a bed, Social Services have been informed and will be arriving shortly to give the poor tot to a one-legged single lesbian who ‘deserves a shot at being a Mum’, with priority being given to any such person working in a licensed brothel or drug den PROVIDED THAT such person has fewer than 10 expired convictions and can neither read nor write.
oops 