IMMIGRANTS TO FACE GULLIBILITY TEST
The government has announced that from next month, new immigrants to the UK will face a “gullibility” test before entering the country. The announcement comes as the political parties try to outdo each other on increasingly tough immigration policies, in the run up to the general election.
Home office minister, Richard Gurbels, speaking on the BBC said, “We have decided to test all new immigrants to this country on their gullibility. The test will consist of various straightforward questions. If they answer ‘yes’ to all of them, they will be allowed to stay in the UK. If not, they will be deported immediately”.
“If they answer ‘Yes’ to all the following questions they will be admitted”:
Would you pay a plumber £200 for a simple easy job
Would you drive 30 miles to a petrol station that has 1p off per litre
Does low paid part-time work lead to high paid full-time work
Do longer drinking hours mean less drunkenness
Do more out of town superstores benefit town centres
Is junk food healthy and nutritious
Can a person smoking a cigarette kill someone 10 miles away
Did Saddam Hussein have weapons of mass destruction
Is a finger of fudge just enough to give your kids a treat
“We, as a government, are determined to stop all undesirables from entering the country(Editor: we have enough of our own!). We will do all within our powers to protect the simple life of our citizens”.
