Imagine if a HGV Driver occupation was advertised properly

UK PROFESSIONAL DRIVERS FORUMS THE UK PROFESSIONAL DRIVERS FORUM (INTERACTIVE)
1

Saw this on a forum and tidied it up, and added a few bits and bobs to it.

Imagine if you advertised the position of a HGV Driver properly:

Want to come and be a professional lorry driver? Actually, no - the only time you will be treated as a professional driver btw is if you are in court. Everyone else looks down on you. You will work 75 hours plus a week, it’s not much to ask is it?

Drive a truck which you will have paid thousands for a license to earn minimum wage, less than that of a tesco shelf stacker. Under qualified people know your job better than you, despite never having sat their puty little ■■■ in a truck in all of their days. 0200am starts. It could be 2000 the next day, and 1600 the day after that, six days a week. Don’t plan anything in your personal life, as it’s all a secret as to where you will be. If you do plan something be prepared to be disappointed.

Get moaned at by some people in offices because you have brought them something THEIR company ordered. Get moaned at by some warehouse people because they are paid wages to unload what you bring. It’s their job but it’s your fault. Accept the fact that its the only job in the world where police and other agencies want to come into your office all the time, checking your work, others give you fines for sitting at your desk doing your work.

Pay up to £150 a week of your own money to park your truck up and wait till you get it back from your company, which you will probably have to chase up, in the meantime pay some more out as your pay day is the end of the week.

Don’t go home for a week at a time. Some don’t go home for weeks on end. Why would you want to go home anyway? Your just a driver.

Accept that as a loyal member of our company you will be paid less the someone who we hire in from an agency that we don’t know, doesn’t know the job and probably doesn’t care about the job. He will also leave your cab absolutely sparkling filthy! Opportunity to sleep in luxury places like under a noisy running fridge with dirty or no showers, dirty or no toilets.

Last but not least, be a security guard in the 9 hours you have off, making sure no one attempts to break in or damage your truck or load. Oh, I almost forgot. Do your best and turn up early to be told that you will have to come back later. Turn up late to be told that your load has been refused, but it’s all your fault because you were stuck in traffic. Turn up smack bang on time and be told that actually you’re going to have to wait 2 hours because your load isn’t ready or the desk jockey hasn’t printed your paperwork yet.

Come be a professional truck driver, it’s great fun!

2

Sounds great; where do I apply? :laughing:

3

A good post and very accurate.You have forgot the offer of Gareth Hunt’s offer of the finest coffee beans from dumb car drivers that toot their tooters when it is their fault.
Car doodlers toodling along at 42 mph in lane two on a motorway.
Rude and ignorant goods in staff that hide behind their computer and ignore you on purpose.
Snotty nosed fork lift drivers that run off for a ■■■ or tea break when you arrive.
Comments of not booked in.Too late.Too early.Blah blah.

4

Sam Millar:
Saw this on a forum and tidied it up, and added a few bits and bobs to it.

So you didn’t write it?

Sam Millar:
Imagine if you advertised the position of a HGV Driver properly:

OK, Carry on

Sam Millar:
Want to come and be a professional lorry driver? Actually, no - the only time you will be treated as a professional driver btw is if you are in court. Everyone else looks down on you. You will work 75 hours plus a week, it’s not much to ask is it?

I wouldn’t expect to find myself in a court room, nor have I seen any courts in the land with queues of “Professional Drivers” waiting outside, 75 Hours a week is OK, if you are sat around in the cab watching TV whilst being unloaded. You can’t actually “Work” 75 Hours a week

Sam Millar:
Drive a truck which you will have paid thousands for a license to earn minimum wage, less than that of a tesco shelf stacker. Under qualified people know your job better than you, despite never having sat their puty little ■■■ in a truck in all of their days. 0200am starts. It could be 2000 the next day, and 1600 the day after that, six days a week. Don’t plan anything in your personal life, as it’s all a secret as to where you will be. If you do plan something be prepared to be disappointed.

I never have, nor will I ever drive for NMW, Certainly never less than that of a “Stock Replenishment Operative”
Again, I am free to Choose my start time, I will never be told to start at 0200 one day, then 2000 the next day. Only MUGS allow companies to do this to them.

Sam Millar:
Get moaned at by some people in offices because you have brought them something THEIR company ordered. Get moaned at by some warehouse people because they are paid wages to unload what you bring. It’s their job but it’s your fault. Accept the fact that its the only job in the world where police and other agencies want to come into your office all the time, checking your work, others give you fines for sitting at your desk doing your work.

So… Make sure you do your job properly? Then you can’t be fined
All the time? I have been stopped about 5 times in 6 years and have never been given a single fine. When I am stopped, I am still working and still being paid to have a cup of tea in the VOSA/DVSA cabin.

Sam Millar:
Pay up to £150 a week of your own money to park your truck up and wait till you get it back from your company, which you will probably have to chase up, in the meantime pay some more out as your pay day is the end of the week.

If you chose to do nights out, which I don’t as a rule but have done for the “Right money”
If you decide to pay for parking to claim back, that is fair enough… I haven’t had problems as the company or agency will refund me on return, if you don’t want to pay up to £150 a week then lay by’s are still an option :unamused:

Sam Millar:
Don’t go home for a week at a time. Some don’t go home for weeks on end. Why would you want to go home anyway? Your just a driver.

Again, Only if you want to

Sam Millar:
Accept that as a loyal member of our company you will be paid less the someone who we hire in from an agency that we don’t know, doesn’t know the job and probably doesn’t care about the job. He will also leave your cab absolutely sparkling filthy! Opportunity to sleep in luxury places like under a noisy running fridge with dirty or no showers, dirty or no toilets.

Well, if you are upset that agency muppets get more than you, Join the agency :unamused: As an Agency driver, I never leave a cab “absolutely sparkling filthy” and resent the assumption that all agency drivers do… Also, is it REALLY “Your” Cab?!
The company do not FORCE you to take nights out, you could just do normal day/night work

Sam Millar:
Last but not least, be a security guard in the 9 hours you have off, making sure no one attempts to break in or damage your truck or load. Oh, I almost forgot. Do your best and turn up early to be told that you will have to come back later. Turn up late to be told that your load has been refused, but it’s all your fault because you were stuck in traffic. Turn up smack bang on time and be told that actually you’re going to have to wait 2 hours because your load isn’t ready or the desk jockey hasn’t printed your paperwork yet.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, once again, this is BY CHOICE… You are not forced to night out

Turn up early and wait 2 hours, cool, you get paid by the hour, right?

Turn up on time and wait 2 hours, cool, you get paid by the hour, right?

Get sent away and come another day? Cool, you still get paid!

Sam Millar:
Come be a professional truck driver, it’s great fun!

It is :unamused: :laughing:

5

trubster:

Sam Millar:
Saw this on a forum and tidied it up, and added a few bits and bobs to it.

So you didn’t write it?

Sam Millar:
Imagine if you advertised the position of a HGV Driver properly:

OK, Carry on

Sam Millar:
Want to come and be a professional lorry driver? Actually, no - the only time you will be treated as a professional driver btw is if you are in court. Everyone else looks down on you. You will work 75 hours plus a week, it’s not much to ask is it?

I wouldn’t expect to find myself in a court room, nor have I seen any courts in the land with queues of “Professional Drivers” waiting outside, 75 Hours a week is OK, if you are sat around in the cab watching TV whilst being unloaded. You can’t actually “Work” 75 Hours a week

Sam Millar:
Drive a truck which you will have paid thousands for a license to earn minimum wage, less than that of a tesco shelf stacker. Under qualified people know your job better than you, despite never having sat their puty little ■■■ in a truck in all of their days. 0200am starts. It could be 2000 the next day, and 1600 the day after that, six days a week. Don’t plan anything in your personal life, as it’s all a secret as to where you will be. If you do plan something be prepared to be disappointed.

I never have, nor will I ever drive for NMW, Certainly never less than that of a “Stock Replenishment Operative”
Again, I am free to Choose my start time, I will never be told to start at 0200 one day, then 2000 the next day. Only MUGS allow companies to do this to them.

Sam Millar:
Get moaned at by some people in offices because you have brought them something THEIR company ordered. Get moaned at by some warehouse people because they are paid wages to unload what you bring. It’s their job but it’s your fault. Accept the fact that its the only job in the world where police and other agencies want to come into your office all the time, checking your work, others give you fines for sitting at your desk doing your work.

So… Make sure you do your job properly? Then you can’t be fined
All the time? I have been stopped about 5 times in 6 years and have never been given a single fine. When I am stopped, I am still working and still being paid to have a cup of tea in the VOSA/DVSA cabin.

Sam Millar:
Pay up to £150 a week of your own money to park your truck up and wait till you get it back from your company, which you will probably have to chase up, in the meantime pay some more out as your pay day is the end of the week.

If you chose to do nights out, which I don’t as a rule but have done for the “Right money”
If you decide to pay for parking to claim back, that is fair enough… I haven’t had problems as the company or agency will refund me on return, if you don’t want to pay up to £150 a week then lay by’s are still an option :unamused:

Sam Millar:
Don’t go home for a week at a time. Some don’t go home for weeks on end. Why would you want to go home anyway? Your just a driver.

Again, Only if you want to

Sam Millar:
Accept that as a loyal member of our company you will be paid less the someone who we hire in from an agency that we don’t know, doesn’t know the job and probably doesn’t care about the job. He will also leave your cab absolutely sparkling filthy! Opportunity to sleep in luxury places like under a noisy running fridge with dirty or no showers, dirty or no toilets.

Well, if you are upset that agency muppets get more than you, Join the agency :unamused: As an Agency driver, I never leave a cab “absolutely sparkling filthy” and resent the assumption that all agency drivers do… Also, is it REALLY “Your” Cab?!
The company do not FORCE you to take nights out, you could just do normal day/night work

Sam Millar:
Last but not least, be a security guard in the 9 hours you have off, making sure no one attempts to break in or damage your truck or load. Oh, I almost forgot. Do your best and turn up early to be told that you will have to come back later. Turn up late to be told that your load has been refused, but it’s all your fault because you were stuck in traffic. Turn up smack bang on time and be told that actually you’re going to have to wait 2 hours because your load isn’t ready or the desk jockey hasn’t printed your paperwork yet.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, once again, this is BY CHOICE… You are not forced to night out

Turn up early and wait 2 hours, cool, you get paid by the hour, right?

Turn up on time and wait 2 hours, cool, you get paid by the hour, right?

Get sent away and come another day? Cool, you still get paid!

Sam Millar:
Come be a professional truck driver, it’s great fun!

It is :unamused: :laughing:

Jesus man chill out will ya :unamused:

6

peter s:
Jesus man chill out will ya :unamused:

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

Ok then

7

There was an ad in a local rag a few weeks ago and it read–Class 1 drivers required,UK work,nights out,good wagons,good money,apply to…There, no- “mission statements”,no- “We are logistic providers to…”,no- Class C+E B/S,just an ad telling you exactly what it says on the tin

8

Sounds like Sams had a bad week. Nowt wrong with that and letting off steam. The hourly rate isnt good for driving and the hours are very long, so yes, that is a double injustice.

But, if I may offer some advice to anyone who isnt happy....**Move on.** Im too old now to be bothered about the job generally. Im 60 and am mooching my way towards retirement. But for any younger guys, take some responsibility for yourselves, always be on the lookout for a better more cushy number. They do exist, but only if you are proactive and seek them out. Dont just get into a rut with one employer and stay there just because hes a nice fella or you get a nice lorry. **Move!** Too many on here bemoan the fact that we as drivers dont stick together…but never put forward a strategy as to how we could possibly do this in this industry which is fragmented into so many different companies.
The answer is in your own hands. Every night get onto the job websites. See whats out there. If something seems worth a punt get on to them and ask questions, and give it a go. Theres a shortage at the moment so theres never been a better time. Next time when a drivers boring you by telling you how crap his job is, it may be worth thinking about why he still does it day in and day out.
You may get on with your current bosses, but believe me they wouldnt give a second thought about sacking you or making you redundant if their bottom line could be improved by it. If more of us thought like this the poor jobs and poor payers would struggle badly. Never be afraid of being without a job. In my 40yrs of having an HGV licence Ive always got a job driving whenever I`ve needed one. The more jobs you do the more experienced you become and it gets easier to get work.

Just my thoughts.

9

I thought Sam Millar loved being a “trucker”?

Has the novelty worn off? :smiley:

10

Yes the novelty has well and truly worn off :laughing: no I’ve not had a bad week. I only edited the grammar and punctuation so it was postable, it was someone else who wrote the full thing I just thought most of us could relate to it unless you’re a cab rat lol

11

…or unless none of it applies to you.

12

Are there any bods out there who are finding it HARDER to apply for that “better job” once employed in a crap one?

It always used to be the way that “workers at job interviews got the job over the unemployed - regardless of what qualifications and experience they had”.

Has the worm finally turned? :open_mouth:

13

Contraflow:
I thought Sam Millar loved being a “trucker”?

Has the novelty worn off? :smiley:

Just a lot ,ive noticed jonnytruckfest is keeping a low profile aswell,them big v8 scanias and volvo 750 are far and few,i bet the posters of trucks are ripped off the bedroom wall now :wink: :wink:

14

Sam Millar:
Saw this on a forum and tidied it up, and added a few bits and bobs to it.

Imagine if you advertised the position of a HGV Driver properly:

Want to come and be a professional lorry driver? Actually, no - the only time you will be treated as a professional driver btw is if you are in court. Everyone else looks down on you. You will work 75 hours plus a week, it’s not much to ask is it?

Drive a truck which you will have paid thousands for a license to earn minimum wage, less than that of a tesco shelf stacker. Under qualified people know your job better than you, despite never having sat their puty little ■■■ in a truck in all of their days. 0200am starts. It could be 2000 the next day, and 1600 the day after that, six days a week. Don’t plan anything in your personal life, as it’s all a secret as to where you will be. If you do plan something be prepared to be disappointed.

Get moaned at by some people in offices because you have brought them something THEIR company ordered. Get moaned at by some warehouse people because they are paid wages to unload what you bring. It’s their job but it’s your fault. Accept the fact that its the only job in the world where police and other agencies want to come into your office all the time, checking your work, others give you fines for sitting at your desk doing your work.

Pay up to £150 a week of your own money to park your truck up and wait till you get it back from your company, which you will probably have to chase up, in the meantime pay some more out as your pay day is the end of the week.

Don’t go home for a week at a time. Some don’t go home for weeks on end. Why would you want to go home anyway? Your just a driver.

Accept that as a loyal member of our company you will be paid less the someone who we hire in from an agency that we don’t know, doesn’t know the job and probably doesn’t care about the job. He will also leave your cab absolutely sparkling filthy! Opportunity to sleep in luxury places like under a noisy running fridge with dirty or no showers, dirty or no toilets.

Last but not least, be a security guard in the 9 hours you have off, making sure no one attempts to break in or damage your truck or load. Oh, I almost forgot. Do your best and turn up early to be told that you will have to come back later. Turn up late to be told that your load has been refused, but it’s all your fault because you were stuck in traffic. Turn up smack bang on time and be told that actually you’re going to have to wait 2 hours because your load isn’t ready or the desk jockey hasn’t printed your paperwork yet.

Come be a professional truck driver, it’s great fun!

Have a click on sams twitter page ,he loves driving in his socks and as got a job lined up driving a V8 ,he well giddy

15

seth 70:
…i bet the posters of trucks are ripped off the bedroom wall now :wink: :wink:

:laughing:

16

Winseer:
Are there any bods out there who are finding it HARDER to apply for that “better job” once employed in a crap one?

Me:(

17

Most jobs are ■■■■ but on the plus side you usually get paid for them :sunglasses: so keep on truckin! :wink:

18

trubster:
If you chose to do nights out, which I don’t as a rule but have done for the “Right money”

Hmm, yes, for someone that doesn’t do nights out “as a rule”, I don’t hear you complaining too much about them at the moment, “trubster”. :sunglasses:

19

Left hand down!:

trubster:
If you chose to do nights out, which I don’t as a rule but have done for the “Right money”

Hmm, yes, for someone that doesn’t do nights out “as a rule”, I don’t hear you complaining too much about them at the moment, “trubster”. :sunglasses:

What can I say, every man has his price :laughing:

20

Much of the problem is those who want to run before they can walk.

Then there’s those who want sociable hours, but unsociable hours money, it never has and never will happen, if you want £37k+ for 40 hours, it aint going to be 7am to 4pm mon to fri chauffering (except maybe London tippers/skips which is where muck and brass starts), it never has and it never will, you can find that money for a 40 hour week but it’s going to involve early mornings or late nights, some weekends and bank hols and some 14 hour days interspersed with some 7 hour ones.

Yes there is a dog end to the industry, and unless you are very very lucky or have someone batting for you to ‘‘get you in’’, you WILL have to learn the job by doing the rough for a time, might be 2 years might be ten, for me it was about 12 or 13 years before i got my first big money break, and that wasn’t driving big uns, i gave up the artics in order to drive vans at night for more money and less hours.

That lasted about 12 months and then a massive increase in fast trunking operations saw me transferred onto artics (4 on 4 off nights) there with quite frankly ridiculous money, however the shifts were rigid, if you were rostered to work Christmas night, you worked Christmas night, no arguments, no sickies, you got and kept such jobs because you didn’t take the ■■■■ and proved yourself totally dependable.

Your reputation in this industry gets you good jobs, good work record, good references, honesty and integrity…the sickie crew need not apply, indeed many of the better long term contracts with major players have been discontinued due in no small way to ■■■■ taking.

I think it is true that when you get a good job it’s easier to replace with another good job, or maybe its the case that you will simply not accept the dross once you’ve had the good other than a very temporary stop gap.

Looking at the lorry has never been the route to a good job, all flash no cash can be as true today as it was when i started out.