Why is it that the closer you get to the urinal, the closer you get to pi$$ing yourself?
So you pull in thinking, “Think I’ll maybe have a jimmy”. At the door of the MSA, it’s “Hmm, better make this quick…”.At the gents, it’s “Blimey, this is gonna be close!” and at the actual urinal, in some discomfort now, you only just get the zip down before the valves open and Niagara spumes forth.
I’ve come up with a little formula to help; U = (100/d)^2 + b, where U = urgency on a scale of 1-100, d = distance from urinal in metres, b = no of buttons if button fly.
albion1938:
Another why for you… why is it, no matter how many times you shake it, the last drip always goes down your trouser leg?
Bernard
dear stinky bernard , when you reach a certain age you don’t shake and go ,you start with a shake and then a final wring as though your wringing out a wet towel ,at this stage of life it,s like the saying goes ''its only good for ■■■■■■■ with ‘’ and you can understand why ,mine has been rung within an inch of its life and takes ages for the blood flow to return ,hope this helps ,doctor scrotumscrachter
the bit that always gets me is; In the workshop hand thick with oil and grease, decide a pee is in order. Go to was hands but realise that they are so filthy it is going to take ages, all that running water and bursting for a pee at the same time can be a hell of an ordeal.
Bald Bloke has pretty much hit it on the head - old age catching up with us all. Either that or it’s because your body is trying to be nice and letting you concentrate on driving until you’ve stopped…but that’s basically just a good excuse for the real reason.
This is one of the reasons I carry a 500ml empty drinks bottle around in the vans and even car (hopefully truck soon) as with a little bit of practice it’s possible to use that discretely, without spillage or anyone noticing. Handy for those occasions where there’s either not an MSA available, there might be a queue or you know they put the toilets as far away as possible from the door (looking at you Wakefield A1(M) Services) and you’re in a serious hurry.
Btw, thanks - now I’m sitting on the sofa and have had to get up for one three times in the last half hour so reading about it also causes the need!
trevHCS:
Bald Bloke has pretty much hit it on the head - old age catching up with us all. Either that or it’s because your body is trying to be nice and letting you concentrate on driving until you’ve stopped…but that’s basically just a good excuse for the real reason.
This is one of the reasons I carry a 500ml empty drinks bottle around in the vans and even car
I find my flask is better as it has a wider neck on it.
alamcculloch:
There is a drinks firm that sell their product in dual purpose bottles,Oasis.This is not advertising btw.
the best ones are those bottles that have something to do with washing machines, (its not powder but a liquid you pour in - is it called comfort?) anyhows, those bottle are perfect, have a big 2½" neck and take over a litre.
Claretmac:
Or just do what some folk like to do and play it safe by just getting out and ■■■■ all over the lift axle!!!
No lift axle on the truck I was driving last week, but had to use the sanctuary of the wheel arch to empty my bladder on more than one occasion. Combination of cold winds and lower temperatures was a major catalyst.
MSA’s are seldom somewhere I stop off at unless I can help it. That’s the whole facility, not just loo’s. Give me a rural lay-by every time.
cargocargocargo:
Why is it that the closer you get to the urinal, the closer you get to pi$$ing yourself?
So you pull in thinking, “Think I’ll maybe have a jimmy”. At the door of the MSA, it’s “Hmm, better make this quick…”.At the gents, it’s “Blimey, this is gonna be close!” and at the actual urinal, in some discomfort now, you only just get the zip down before the valves open and Niagara spumes forth.
I’ve come up with a little formula to help; U = (100/d)^2 + b, where U = urgency on a scale of 1-100, d = distance from urinal in metres, b = no of buttons if button fly.
That’s why a lot of us have a wee down the wheel of the truck
xichrisxi - I thought in that case the official method was to stop in the middle of the MSA truck park bit, jump out, do it against the back wheels then drive out. Remember to ignore all the trucks behind you waiting to get in and the queue going out down the slip road.
Paul - done that in a van a few times (when there’s no room inside) so works just as well on a truck I guess. Even easier would be to “examine” the locks on the back doors and hope no one is paying too much attention. Preferably using the bottle method as you don’t want to hit a part of the trailer you’ll later be handling.
trevHCS:
xichrisxi - I thought in that case the official method was to stop in the middle of the MSA truck park bit, jump out, do it against the back wheels then drive out. Remember to ignore all the trucks behind you waiting to get in and the queue going out down the slip road.
Paul - done that in a van a few times (when there’s no room inside) so works just as well on a truck I guess. Even easier would be to “examine” the locks on the back doors and hope no one is paying too much attention. Preferably using the bottle method as you don’t want to hit a part of the trailer you’ll later be handling.
Dunno,I was brought up proper…The only time I have ever taken a leak in the open is in a layby,if I’m in the MSA I’ll walk inside and use the facilities.
Not being funny fellas, but I’m on tablets now, regularly I’d be thinking I was fit to burst, run like the clappers to a loo, only to find out what came out wouldn’t fill an egg cup.
Turns out it’s perfectly normal for a fella of my age to have an enlarged prostate. Pill first thing every morning, no more trouble.
Always worth getting your prostate checked gents. It’s not a pleasant check, but it might save your life.
