working local this week so popped into the barbers to get my hair cut, it just so happened a lorry driver was in there telling many riveting tales of his job to a room of strangers as he waited.
The stories I caught were:
a bloke driving a merc convertible was leaning on the horn in traffic in London so he got out the cab and right hooked him. Applause ensued from the rest of the cars in the traffic, when traffic finally started moving people just drove round the guy in the merc as he was knocked out cold.
a woman came up to him one night “begging for some fun” while parked a lay-by, he ended up having to ram her off the road as she chased him for 10 miles.
he ended up chasing down and restraining 2 illegal immigrants that were hitching a ride.
All this in the last 12 months apparently, bare in mind he was about 5ft 6, 16 stone (at least) and drove a road sweeper for a local firm
had everyone in the barbers laughing…AT him. I don’t know what you guys moan about, if its anything like what I’ve heard tonight its hilarious
I used to deliver to a place near Carlisle which involved a tricky blind-side reverse. The fella who worked in the yard would always tell you he was class one driver and explained how he would often tell the drivers to get out and he’d have do the reverse himself. But the best one he told was when he had to deliver a load bound for Canada to an airport. Apparently on arrival they guided him in his truck straight onto a waiting cargo plane and had to actually deliver the load himself … in Canada !!
You put two of these fantasists in the same room and listen to em
go.
Every tale has to be more outrageous than the last and neither can
back down or call the other on his tales of daring do, for fear of
getting caught out but one thing is for sure each will adopt the
others bullshine and make it theirs for future spouting.
Its like when a mummy dog and a daddy dog get stuck together.
You put two of these fantasists in the same room and listen to em
go.
Every tale has to be more outrageous than the last and neither can
back down or call the other on his tales of daring do, for fear of
getting caught out but one thing is for sure each will adopt the
others bullshine and make it theirs for future spouting.
Its like when a mummy dog and a daddy dog get stuck together.
Yeah i watched 2 like that at tesco goole last week, was quite funny luggin in on em tryin to get the better story in lol
Well I’m not a rude person but if a bloke wants to talk rubbish to me he is politely told to go and talk to someone else
I really can’t be bothered with these blokes they must actually sit and think up these story’s .
I worked with a bloke who made up all sorts of tales in fact it got a few lads in to a bit of hot water with the lies he was telling about them…I think personally it’s a type of mental illness.
We had an agency fella at our place who had actually won the lottery.
He was only working at our place(shifting waste!) as if he didn’t find something to pass the hours he would kill himself through the demon drink.
Eventually I passed through mild amusement to exasperation into fully fledged detesting of the curious swine and had to tell him that he was clearly lying and a full time crank.
Every work environment has these sort of guys with fantasy stories , although they do believe there own Jackanory stories ,it is funny to listen to , and the stories become more intergalactic as they spew more &@£@ keep them going , they believe that you believe them ha ha
Superb, I love these tales.
During my cpc course one driver smuggles pallets of booze through customs, where does he hide it? On the bulkhead of his trailer, because customs never check there! The story gets better, he did once however get busted…so he slid the custom officer a wad of cash, it was a great deal due to the fact him and his mate was sleeping with the officers wife!! I kid you not!!!
I reckon people are calling out the BS’ers as often as they’re quitting and thumping the TM on the way out the door.
Most times there’s a big time BS merchant I would say the victim they’ve collared smiles and nods politely and makes sure to avoid them the next time - just like the rest of us do.
All these RDC warriors would crumble on most jobs. I’d end up lumping one of them as it’s bad enough overhearing their top trumps contests on Motorway services. The “I’ve done ever job” ones are the best, I’d love to see one scurry up the back of a skelly trailer to duct tape up a tear in a sugar liner. Then again that would just fuel another story…