In the light of the recent announcements by the Police that they no longer consider it necessary to attend the scene
of domestic burglaries,I have taken down the St.Georges flag from beside the house and peeled the burglar alarm
sticker off the front door. We’ve also disconnected our home alarm system and quit our Neighbourhood Watch Scheme.
Instead I’ve bought two Pakistani flags on E Bay and raised them in the front garden,one each corner. I’ve also
bought an Isis flag and positioned it between them.
So now the local Police,CID,MI5 the SAS and other UK Counter Terrorism Agencies are all watching the house 24/7
We’ve never felt safer and we’re saving £24.95 a month on security.
Made me laugh anyway.
Disclaimer; to any pointy heads at GCHQ who may currently be reading this I was in no way expressing sympathy to any of the above mentioned causes.
Phew, think I may have got away with that.
Their best time for coming to pay you a visit will be about 4 in the morning. So plenty of time left 
Armagedon:
In the light of the recent announcements by the Police that they no longer consider it necessary to attend the scene
of domestic burglaries,I have taken down the St.Georges flag from beside the house and peeled the burglar alarm
sticker off the front door. We’ve also disconnected our home alarm system and quit our Neighbourhood Watch Scheme.
Instead I’ve bought two Pakistani flags on E Bay and raised them in the front garden,one each corner. I’ve also
bought an Isis flag and positioned it between them.
So now the local Police,CID,MI5 the SAS and other UK Counter Terrorism Agencies are all watching the house 24/7
We’ve never felt safer and we’re saving £24.95 a month on security.
PMSL
Reminds me of the old guy who lived down the end of the street from me.
He heard a noise outside late one night and looked out his kitchen window to see two guys stealing stuff from his shed.
He called the cops and they said
“We’re quite busy at the moment and there are no free officers available. Lock your doors and we’ll send someone out when we can”
The old guy hung up and then five minutes later he called them back and said
“Dont bother coming out anymore. It’s ok, ive dealt with it. Ive shot them”
Within 10 minutes he had 5 cop cars, a riot van, the firearms unit, K9 unit at his door and a police helicopter flying overhead.
The officer in charge says to him “Where’s the bodies? I thought you said you’d shot them?”
Old guy replied
“I thought you said there was no one available?”
