Home delivery stories

UK PROFESSIONAL DRIVERS FORUMS THE UK PROFESSIONAL DRIVERS FORUM (INTERACTIVE)
21

Working for a builders merchant, agency work, had a delivery for the address 3, Masons Lodge, Spent ages looking for it, 'til I worked out it was meant to be Freemasons Lodge!

A few years ago, working for Laura Ashley (Premier Home Logistics), there was the time we turned up with a nice leather sofa, to find it wouldn’t go through the door, and there was no way of getting it in round the back. So, we waited while they took the front door off, only to find it wouldn’t swing round in the hall to get in the front room. So off came the radiator in the hall, along with the front room door. And it still wouldn’t go in. We left them with the sofa on the path out the front, taking the window out, to try and get it in that way.

And not so much home delivery, but more agency work, as a bin man for the council. We’re on the round, and it gets to lunch time, so a suitable spot is located, and we back up to in a garage block, rear of the wagon up against someones garden wall. As we stop, the driver happened to glance at the screen for the camera at the rear, and bearing in mind it was summer, nice warm day, he spies a young lady, reclining on a lounger, sunning herself and, shock horror, pleasuring herself :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :laughing: Was the best lunch break I’d had for a while.

22

ive never drank a brew and ate toast as quick in my life made my excuses and got the [zb] out of there

No chance I’ve seen you eat tea and toast,Was like watching cookiemonster eat on sesame street :open_mouth: :laughing:

23

Tankermanz:
ive never drank a brew and ate toast as quick in my life made my excuses and got the [zb] out of there

No chance I’ve seen you eat tea and toast,Was like watching cookie monster eat on sesame street :open_mouth: :laughing:

hollywood towers anybody :smiley: :smiley:

24

Back in the 50s when I was a teenager I helped out a mate who did a laundry round. There were three houses where the young mums answeerd the door completely naked. They were hiding and only showed their faces, but the doors were frosted glass so you could see everything when it was so close.

More recently I did a delivery - two big cardboard boxes about 8’x6’x1’ and some smaller ones. When I got there my heart sank - steps up to the front door in a block of flats; bound to be some old dear who wants it put in the bedroom. Kncked the door and big burly bloke answers. “Great,” he says. “I’ll have it in the garage.” That was right by where I was parked; he carried the heavier one and helped with the smaller ones. When he signed he gave me a tenner.

25

bigvern1:

mike68:
I suspect this has an element of truth.fumaga.com/6557

Just like temp work at DPD! :smiley:

Last time I had one of these guys around about a year back, they stoved in my car thereby disabling me from following them… After 3 weeks, I’d managed to track them down and had it fixed by them, but then the damned thing failed the MOT on suspension & bodywork ANYWAY and I had to replace it!! :cry: :cry:

I’m considering a stinger arrangement for my garden path, with the spikes laced with cuare so he won’t be vaulting my fence and speeding off ANYWHERE! :imp: :smiling_imp: :smiling_imp: :smiling_imp: :smiling_imp: :imp:

The only problem is, I might mistakingly get that kid who delivers the free papers I use to line the cat tray with instead, then I’d be guilty of not thinking of the children in a built up area. :frowning:

26

Immigrant:
I went with 32 Euro pallet Pelled Tomatoes to an address in Nuernberg
Everything OK.They had Paper,i opened the rear and went for Cash Machine and Breakfast.
When i came back after an Hour they had unloaded one Pallet and were putting Carton by Carton from the second Pallet down to a empty Pallet.
:bulb: They had no Forklift
then they rolled that Pallet with a Pumptruck to the Ramp and put Carton by Carton on a empty Pallet on the ram
:bulb: because of the Lack of an Forklift
But now i had then enough and phoned up,because it was Friday 09.00 already
Answer of Office. :grimacing: You have to be at 13.00 in east germany at a saw Mill to load Roofing timber for Saragusa
The Result when i asked them to speed up?
I got a Espresso to relax my Nerves :laughing:
I then opened the hole Site that they mustnt run with every carton from front to back and was at 15.00 at the saw Mill

Maybe they had a staplerfahrer called Klaus, who happened to be in hospital at the time? :open_mouth:

(I won’t post the obvious link, as it wouldn’t be thinking of the children!)

27

Used to be an owner driver for Business Express in Corby. I used to cover a large area LE15 and PE9 area with all the villages and did it in a SWB transit ( wish i had a bigger van ) and used to be filled to the rim on a daily basis. I once had to deliver to a house in Oakham and it was a female. I approached the door and told her that i have a parcel for her, she took it off me, signed for it, and then went mad at me. I asked her why she was ■■■■■■ off and she went off on one saying i should be getting this parcel tomorrow!! :angry:. I explained to her that i don’t have control over parcels and she should be grateful she has got the parcel early, well that didn’t help the matter at all. The ■■■■■ then made a complaint about me saying i was rude and also moaned about the parcel being early. Since that day i used to get complaints on a daily basis from her without having to do anything, so because of that to pay her back, must stress i had 3 weeks left till i left the firm as i was getting fed up working from 5:30am till 9pm everyday. So i decided to have a dump in her parcel and finish it off with a wash down of ■■■■ and placed it over her fence in her back garden and drove off with a smile on my face. Well for the last 3 weeks i didn’t have a delivery there until i left

Happy days lol

( Back then i was a rebal and didn’t give a dam )

28

Winseer:

bigvern1:

mike68:
I suspect this has an element of truth.fumaga.com/6557

Just like temp work at DPD! :smiley:

Last time I had one of these guys around about a year back, they stoved in my car thereby disabling me from following them… After 3 weeks, I’d managed to track them down and had it fixed by them, but then the damned thing failed the MOT on suspension & bodywork ANYWAY and I had to replace it!! :cry: :cry:

I’m considering a stinger arrangement for my garden path, with the spikes laced with cuare so he won’t be vaulting my fence and speeding off ANYWHERE! :imp: :smiling_imp: :smiling_imp: :smiling_imp: :smiling_imp: :imp:

The only problem is, I might mistakingly get that kid who delivers the free papers I use to line the cat tray with instead, then I’d be guilty of not thinking of the children in a built up area. :frowning:

Yes, and that would be so , so WRONG! :laughing: :laughing:

29

I can recall another incident.

I went to an address in a village to deliver a parcel and caught a lady in a T shirt and knickers, would be nice if she wasn’t in her 60’s :smiley: