HAZARDOUS MATERIALS INFORMATION
MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET
“WOMAN” - A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS
Element: Woman
Symbol: Wo
Discoverer; Adam
Atomic Mass: Accepted as 63.6Kg, but may vary from 40Kg. To 200Kg.
Occurrence: Copious quantities in all urban areas.
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
- Surface usually covered with painted film.
- Hatred of natural hair - either removes it completely or colours it frequently.
- Boils at nothing, freezes without any known reason.
- Melts if given special treatment.
- Bitter if incorrectly used.
- Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
- Yields to pressure applied to correct points.
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
- Has great affinity for Gold, Silver and a range of precious stones.
- Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
- May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
- Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increases by saturation in alcohol.
- Most powerful money-reducing agent known to man.
COMMON USES
- Highly ornamental, especially in a sports car.
- Can be a great aid in relaxation.
- Very effective cleaning agent.
TESTS
- Pure specimens turn rosy pink when discovered in natural state.
- Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.
POTENTIAL HAZARDS
- Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
- Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different
locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other.
