Had the sack

Just got the sack from my job at the Salvation Army soup kitchen.
All I did,at the end of their meal, was to stand up and shout " Hurry up,haven’t you got any homes to go to ?"

So…to fill time,I did volunteer work at a self harm group, and thought I was doing really well.
But it all went downhill when I said " I’ll be back in a minute… I’m just going for a ■■■■■! "

Didn’t think it could get any worse,but after 20 years working on the roads my wife has also been sacked !!!.
She has been dismissed for stealing equipment.
At first I refused to believe it,but when I got home, all the signs were there !