The most ridiculous one I’ve had is when I wasn’t allowed on site as I had a t-shirt on, you had to have sleeves I was delivering a container, so had no intention of doing anything more than laying on my bed for a couple of hours, it was a screenwash factory so not like it would harm me if I did somehow manage to get splashed, I tried putting a spare pair of socks over my arms but they had a sense of humour failure
I was once loading empties in Whitbread’s in Gloucester & I wasn’t wearing my hi-viz or hard hat when I jumped out of the cab, they were in my side locker, no sooner had my feet hit the ground when some knobhead marched out of the office about 800yds over the other side of the yard & started giving it the ‘Oi! driver’ which I totally ignored, by the time he got to me he was purple with rage & started gobbing off about me having no hi-viz, so I said that if he could see me from right over there then I obviously didn’t need one, ‘That’s it, you’re barred from this site, leave the premises right now’ he said & that was that, he phoned my firm & I had to get off site & was never allowed back, luckily my guvnor was a decent sort of bloke & nothing come of it, but that obnoxious self important little maggot could’ve cost me my job
lumpygreenpoo:
I don’t know whether this is applicable but… Last Monday, got into work at 0430 to find the truck was dead, flat batteries. The driver who had had the vehicle on the Friday before had forgotten to switch all the interior lights off. Wandered over to ‘Depot Control’ (posh term for warehouse office) to ask where I could find a set of jump leads. I was told that I couldn’t jump the vehicle because I wasn’t qualified, neither could the shunter, Keltruck had to be called out. Two hours later the fitter turned up with a booster pack and I fired up the motor.
…
Well in fairness I can understand this. A mate of mine who’s a fitter worked with a driver who had this exact problem. Of course 4am winter’s morning he managed to connect the booster batteries the wrong way round. The unpshot being a battery exploded in his face & he lost an eye.
The company brought a booster pack after this where if you connect the wrong way round the electronics cut the circuit, but of course the damage is done.
Also with modern trucks I think you can bugger up the ECU’s if you dont know what your doing.
On the subject of toilet training well yes a lot of people need this, but it a problem within the whole of the population, not just with HGV drivers.
best one i had was when a chap came running out of the office to tell me i wasn’t wearing a hi viz jacket
i pointed out to him he’d just run across the yard without one to tell me i wasn’t wearing one
he said “ah yes but i’m a manager”
"ah thats not going to stop me running you over though is it " i replied
another was a friend who was told in a builders yard to wear a hard hat because someone the week before hadn’t been wearing one & had broken their leg jumping down from their trailer ! ?
university i used to work at, 1000,s of accomodation rooms as well as lecture rooms, ect ect, they used to have to call out an electrician if a light bulb failed even in a desk lamp!!! even got to a point where they used contractors for this and not even in house sparks… approx £150 per call out… approx 10 calls per night…just to change a bulb!!
another one was at a feed mill, at times the hoppers would clog up and you had to go up and give it a good smack with a sledge hammer, acoording to which hopper it was you may have to go underneath a low girder, on the girder was a warning that it was low and hard hat should be worn… i lost count how many times the lads would bend down to get under girder, hardhat would fall off they would pick it up and stand up and smack there head on the girder whilst the hat was still in their hand…
Colingl:
You missed a trick there Dave, that Director was offering to be your tea ■■■■■ all week.
You’re pretty much spot-on there Col, cos I was later informed that there’s a tea person who starts work a 9am.
What these people don’t seem to understand is that the course has to run to a timetable which must be pre-notified to SQA.
Our start time is 9am, a fact that SQA have to be aware of at least 5 working days in advance. We’d notified SQA correctly and sent the company a separate email. As it was, I got a visit from the external verifier, but fortunately this didn’t happen until day #3.
I explained that if the verifier had caught us waiting for brews when lessons should be running, I’d have been downgraded in the report.
It’s the old story of people not reading the information that they’re sent.
I got a bollocking for cleaning my windows,H&S guy said you must have proper ventilation in the cab if using arosols in a confind area so he said you must lower your windows fully,prat!!!
gooner:
I got a bollocking for cleaning my windows,H&S guy said you must have proper ventilation in the cab if using arosols in a confind area so he said you must lower your windows fully,prat!!!
That is how they end up with the managers jobs, they are too stupid to be trusted with anything that could go wrong arosol
The good thing is ( if there is one) with all this H&S nonsense is you can have a laugh with it when the occasion demands. A truck pulled into our yard last week, just as the driver was half way down the cab steps he got the old… “Whooooooooooooaa!!!, hang fire drive, not allowed in here with lace up boots.” He looked over his shoulder with a bemused expression. " Trip hazard mate, if they come undone like, you can either stay in yer cab or stand over there near the gate". I put him out of his misery just as he started climbing back in. He saw the funny side…until I told him he couldn’t fill his flask. Scalding hazrard see.
The good thing is ( if there is one) with all this H&S nonsense is you can have a laugh with it when the occasion demands. A truck pulled into our yard last week, just as the driver was half way down the cab steps he got the old… “Whooooooooooooaa!!!, hang fire drive, not allowed in here with lace up boots.” He looked over his shoulder with a bemused expression. " Trip hazard mate, if they come undone like, you can either stay in yer cab or stand over there near the gate". I put him out of his misery just as he started climbing back in. He saw the funny side…until I told him he couldn’t fill his flask. Scalding hazrard see.
tarmac are the other way around. no rigger boots in the quarry in case you twist your ankle. got to wear lace ups. more ankle support .
dieseldave:
This week’s stunning example of H&S gone absolutely barking mad is a little episode from this Monday morning…
I was at a client’s premises (a logistics company) to run an ADR course, so of course, their site rules apply- no problem so far…
I arrived last Friday to get all my kit into the classroom and set-up, so during that process a director tells me of the site’s H&S requirements, and fire and domestic arrangements etc.
Monday morning comes around, so I’m there bright and early to switch everything on any do my ‘meet and greet’ as the candidates arrive.
Now, I like a brew before I start, and I imagine that my candidates might also want one, so we’re in the kitchen nattering with brews in hand when in walks a director. After a moment or two, the director asks me for ‘a word’ just outside the kitchen in the corridor in private…
The upshot of the conversation was… I’m not to allow the candidates to make a brew in the kitchen due to a risk of scalding.
This isn’t Bully’s Bar, I haven’t made it up, and I’m not joking.
Just for completeness of info, I should point out that my Friday briefing made no mention of this rule, and there’s no sign on the kitchen door, such as ‘staff only.’ The kitchen isn’t of the industrial type that might have unfamiliar ‘industrial’ equipment. The set-up I’m talking about here is exactly the same as a normal household kitchen that has worktops, cupboards, a sink and a normal domestic 240v 1.7 liter electric kettle.
Now, I realise that I’m on somebody else’s site, so I’ve got to watch my Ps and Qs (and defo my Fs ) but I thought it was taking things a bit too far when a director suggests that adults might scald themselves by using a piece of kit that they all have at home.
Now i’ve seen everything, Englishmen haveing to be trained in the complicated job of TEA makeing Well i never
I can see the new signs now.
Only Authourized persons allowed in break room.
Safety goggles and protective gear will be worn at all times.
Temperature of Tea will be measured till it falls to the required H&S temp so as to ensure no scalding of the operators lips.
Any unused Tea shall be poured carefully down the drainage equipment provided (sink) and the cup washed in cold water to ensure no hotTea remains.
Just haveing a little fun, they’re getting like that over here.
We have people come into work and ask for hi vis vests. As they call them “vissy vest” which i didnt have a clue what it was at first.
I pointed them to them and said “cant work too well if you cant see them hanging up”
Im waiting for work to bring in you needing them when we go into the yard, that will be a right faff.
There is a driver that shunts the caravans around who wears one all the time and it seems to be by choice. He also wears sunglasses all the time and has his window wide open with his arm hanging out.
The good thing is ( if there is one) with all this H&S nonsense is you can have a laugh with it when the occasion demands. A truck pulled into our yard last week, just as the driver was half way down the cab steps he got the old… “Whooooooooooooaa!!!, hang fire drive, not allowed in here with lace up boots.” He looked over his shoulder with a bemused expression. " Trip hazard mate, if they come undone like, you can either stay in yer cab or stand over there near the gate". I put him out of his misery just as he started climbing back in. He saw the funny side…until I told him he couldn’t fill his flask. Scalding hazrard see.
tarmac are the other way around. no rigger boots in the quarry in case you twist your ankle. got to wear lace ups. more ankle support .
dle1uk:
another one was at a feed mill, at times the hoppers would clog up and you had to go up and give it a good smack with a sledge hammer, acoording to which hopper it was you may have to go underneath a low girder, on the girder was a warning that it was low and hard hat should be worn… i lost count how many times the lads would bend down to get under girder, hardhat would fall off they would pick it up and stand up and smack there head on the girder whilst the hat was still in their hand…
Rob K:
Where’s Malc with his dog whistling hi-viz story? Always makes me chuckle.
Does he mean me?
Wheel Nut:
I have finally got my own back on one of these powerstruck people
It was only a small victory buit it tasted sweet
Delivering to Royal Mail in West Ham, I was grunted at by a security guard, and pointed in the right direction. As I puled round looking for a free bay, there was a gap and a truck just about ready to pull away. I waited a few moments to give the driver time to close his doors. I could hear someone whistling, a loud 2 fingered whistle.
I then backed onto an empty bay opening my doors when this bloke in a hi-viz came running across.
what are you doing on this bay?
Im delivering 3 pallets.
I want you on the next bay, didnt you hear me whistling?
Sorry I thought someone had lost their dog!
Put it on bay 8
I was already on bay 9, an identical bay with access to the same warehouse, but decided to humour him and move the truck 12 feet sideways
Have you got a pallet truck?
No, havent you? I dont need a pallet truck, he asked me how I was going to get the pallets off, I arent I replied, you or your staff are, thats why I have backed onto a bay so you can unload me
If you dont place the goods on our loading bay, we wont accept them! he told me
I walked back to the truck and jumped in, as I pulled forward I heard him shout, I walked back and started to shut the doors He asked me why I wouldnt tip the load,
I cant mate, ITS HEALTH AND SAFETY
Funnily enough, I was tipped fairly quickly after that, with a fork lift driving into the trailer.
This is a regular job for us with at least 2 trailers per day)
I was delivering a container, so had no intention of doing anything more than laying on my bed for a couple of hours, it was a screenwash factory so not like it would harm me if I did somehow manage to get splashed, I tried putting a spare pair of socks over my arms 
but they had a sense of humour failure 
?
I put him out of his misery just as he started climbing back in. He saw the funny side…until I told him he couldn’t fill his flask. Scalding hazrard see. 
