We’ve got a SSOW (safe systems of work) for . . . . . . . . .the use of stairs! 
When I worked in the Paper Mill in Kent, we had a 45 minute leccture on making a hot drivk safely, all because some pillock scalded himself… 
You missed a trick there Dave, that Director was offering to be your tea ■■■■■ all week. 
You have not been signed off to work under the bonnet H and S rules
I wonder what he’d say if you seized the engine as there was no oil in it. Although I suppose they are all modern motors with electronic readings.
bowser:
dieseldave:
bowser:
you think that place is bad you should try a visit to B+Q distribution at preston brook , now that place is raving mad …Hi bowser, I did my last UK night-out on the B&Q job.
Mind you, back then it was just a normal type of site… Hi-viz and steely-toe caps but it’s been quite a while since I did anything for them.
the other B+Q sites i’v been to are the normal h+s deal but preston brook takes the pppp . i got a caution for going backwards 2 feet because i did’nt have a banksman behind me
he changed his tune when i pointed out that if i had one behind me he would be dead .
and they completley closed the place down so they could move a ladder on wheels from one side of the yard to the other , cones and everything , and it took no more than 20 seconds . without doubt the most frustrating place i’v every been to.
HOORAY! Somewhere worse than Cemex … (choose a location) 
I got shouted by the H&S guy at a factory in worksop, got on site, found my trailer the usual thing, but there was a fault with the forklift and they had to load oxo cubes by hand onto it, problem was explained told it would take about 2 hours and that I could park the cab at the end of the yard out the way, sun was shining we was all happy so I decided to sit outside on a grass field next to the cab to work on my tan (i kept my hi-vis on) and thats where everything fell apart, H&S guy walked over and started moaning about me getting sun burn and that it is his job to ensure the safety against diseases at work such as cancer and that I am increasing my risk to it.
I wasn’t expecting that
ebabes:
I got shouted by the H&S guy at a factory in worksop, got on site, found my trailer the usual thing, but there was a fault with the forklift and they had to load oxo cubes by hand onto it, problem was explained told it would take about 2 hours and that I could park the cab at the end of the yard out the way, sun was shining we was all happy so I decided to sit outside on a grass field next to the cab to work on my tan (i kept my hi-vis on) and thats where everything fell apart, H&S guy walked over and started moaning about me getting sun burn and that it is his job to ensure the safety against diseases at work such as cancer and that I am increasing my risk to it.I wasn’t expecting that
I reckon he was just jealous, you were risking sunburn as you dozed and got paid.
He was having to work to get paid.
Keeping your hi-vis on was your big mistake though. If you’d taken it off you’d have become invisible 
.
Simon:
ebabes:
I got shouted by the H&S guy at a factory in worksop, got on site, found my trailer the usual thing, but there was a fault with the forklift and they had to load oxo cubes by hand onto it, problem was explained told it would take about 2 hours and that I could park the cab at the end of the yard out the way, sun was shining we was all happy so I decided to sit outside on a grass field next to the cab to work on my tan (i kept my hi-vis on) and thats where everything fell apart, H&S guy walked over and started moaning about me getting sun burn and that it is his job to ensure the safety against diseases at work such as cancer and that I am increasing my risk to it.I wasn’t expecting that
I reckon he was just jealous, you were risking sunburn as you dozed and got paid.
He was having to work to get paid.
Keeping your hi-vis on was your big mistake though. If you’d taken it off you’d have become invisible
You should’ve put on a hard hat and sunglasses; there must be a h and s rule about looking like 1 of the Village People!
I got a bollocking twice at a place that distributes soap & soap dispeners etc, first time for stepping into the warehouse without gloves and goggles on, when asking why i was told in case a barrel of soap was to split. Obviously they have a habit of spontaniously ■■■■■■■■■■ too!
The second time, i stepped inside the warehouse again but this time without my hi-vis on, guy came running over waving his arms saying i couldnt come in without hi-vis on as there was forklifts around, i did however point out that i was stood next to the only forklift in the warehouse!
ebabes:
I got shouted by the H&S guy at a factory in worksop, got on site, found my trailer the usual thing, but there was a fault with the forklift and they had to load oxo cubes by hand onto it, problem was explained told it would take about 2 hours and that I could park the cab at the end of the yard out the way, sun was shining we was all happy so I decided to sit outside on a grass field next to the cab to work on my tan (i kept my hi-vis on) and thats where everything fell apart, H&S guy walked over and started moaning about me getting sun burn and that it is his job to ensure the safety against diseases at work such as cancer and that I am increasing my risk to it.I wasn’t expecting that
I would imagine handballing your load into a trailer would take considerably longer than that, they need to wrap them all separately in foil and stack them carefully.
It is a wonder you didn’t cube out! 
Perhaps you should add tea making to your courses dieseldave, after all you are handling dangerous goods according to that director (zb)
dieseldave:
I don’t mind when there’s a proper safety issue, or something that maybe isn’t so obvious because some folks do need stuff pointed out to them and that’s fair enough, but IMHO this one really took the biscuit!!
Indeed, but given the circumstances no brew to dunk the said biscuit in. 
Could be worse Dave, they might stop pie eating as sometimes just a little bit of steam escapes when you first cut through that delicious, light, flaky, golden pastry and it might warm your fork hand up a bit.
I have to agree with DieselDave, not allowed making tea because you could scaled yourself is the world upside down.
Or is it??
If you see where companies get sued for, you won’t believe your eyes and ears.
And the judges and the public agree with such a thing, and allow pay outs of hundred thousands of pounds for relative minor injuries.
Let say you broke a leg, because the pavement was not 100% level, in the UK a judge would grant you big money because the council hadn’t done their job right.
In the Netherlands they would ask you I you didn’t see properly, and in the worst case if there was a proven case if neglect of the council, you would maybe get compensated for the lost of salary for them weeks that you couldn’t go to work.
Why does McD. Print with big letters on their coffee cups “Hot” ■■?
I hope so that it is hot!!!That is what I bought in the end, isn’t it.
But if they don’t print that on, some idiot sues them because she put it between their legs and burns her front door crack.
She got stupid money for that because she couldn’t have ■■■ for month after that, if you seen the picture of the woman involved I wonder if she had ■■■ for month before the incident. I wouldn’t give her one, even if she came out a lucky bag.
We got a couple of years ago a case where a bulk tipper driver (20 years experience) kicked the safety locks of the back hatch to get the load quicker of (the load was tipping through the small grain hatch) This caused the load to come of in one go, buried the driver in product, nearly killed him, and he was of with a nasty injury for month.
The HSE found there was neglect from the company because there was no sticker on the back on the hatch, that said: “don’t open hatch when trailer is loaded”
This joke cost us a fair bit of money.
So it’s easy to say H&S is over the top, and I agree with you 100%, especially in the UK common sense is completely out the door.
But there is a reason behind this, insurance companies force operators to bend in the strangest ways to avoid claims for every little nick people can get at their premisses.
But it brings a situation to the country, when you come here as foreigner, you must think all the British are Thick, Stupid and blind.
Hot water warning on the hot water tap
Wet floor warning on a wet floor
Hot warning on Hot drinks (did you not buy them in the first place for that reason?)
Handrail warning on stairs.
Men at work at a building site (they better be at work)
What will be the next thing?
A sticker on your car doors that say, don’t enter the vehicle when it’s moving?
I don’t know whether this is applicable but… Last Monday, got into work at 0430 to find the truck was dead, flat batteries. The driver who had had the vehicle on the Friday before had forgotten to switch all the interior lights off. Wandered over to ‘Depot Control’ (posh term for warehouse office) to ask where I could find a set of jump leads. I was told that I couldn’t jump the vehicle because I wasn’t qualified, neither could the shunter, Keltruck had to be called out. Two hours later the fitter turned up with a booster pack and I fired up the motor.
What annoys me is that H&S is there to ensure a safe working environment, it’s not there to stop you from doing your job. I can’t remember the amount of times, in the past 20 years, where I’ve had to jump start a motor.
Another scenario… At this particular company, there is a large concreted yard. Trailers are parked in a rank on the left, bays on the right and fuel pumps at the far end; there is a slope downhill from the trailers on the left down to the bays on the right. You are not allowed to couple to and pull off trailers parked on the bays because it is unsafe, the shunter has to pull it off first.
Now, imagine this… I couple to a trailer in the rank and inadvertently leave the handbrake off. It sometimes happens to the best of us. I’ve only ever done it once, many years ago! The vehicle is going to roll downhill into the trailers on the bays. However, if I were to leave the handbrake off whilst coupling on the bay, it ain’t going nowhere, there’s a flipping great building stopping it! Furthermore, you’re allowed to put trailers on the bays so I fail to see why it’s unsafe to pull them off. I can’t see the logic…
dieseldave:
This week’s stunning example of H&S gone absolutely barking mad is a little episode from this Monday morning…I was at a client’s premises (a logistics company) to run an ADR course, so of course, their site rules apply- no problem so far…
I arrived last Friday to get all my kit into the classroom and set-up, so during that process a director tells me of the site’s H&S requirements, and fire and domestic arrangements etc.
Monday morning comes around, so I’m there bright and early to switch everything on any do my ‘meet and greet’ as the candidates arrive.
Now, I like a brew before I start, and I imagine that my candidates might also want one, so we’re in the kitchen nattering with brews in hand when in walks a director. After a moment or two, the director asks me for ‘a word’ just outside the kitchen in the corridor in private…The upshot of the conversation was…
This isn’t Bully’s Bar, I haven’t made it up, and I’m not joking.
Just for completeness of info, I should point out that my Friday briefing made no mention of this rule, and there’s no sign on the kitchen door, such as ‘staff only.’ The kitchen isn’t of the industrial type that might have unfamiliar ‘industrial’ equipment. The set-up I’m talking about here is exactly the same as a normal household kitchen that has worktops, cupboards, a sink and a normal domestic 240v 1.7 liter electric kettle.
Now, I realise that I’m on somebody else’s site, so I’ve got to watch my Ps and Qs (and defo my Fs
Sign of the times I’m afraid. I was yapping with a shunter at one of my regularly visited sites a few weeks ago, and he was telling me that at one place he pulled for, they even taught grown men how to use the toilet!..I’d be quite entertained to see other peoples experiences the only way you can ‘safely’ deal with BS like this is to take the ■■■■ out of it and have a giggle. You’d think that in these straightened times with cutbacks and ecconomies around every corner, that these muppets would be forced to get a proper job, somehow or other, they still find money to throw away on crap like this
i went to a site the other day now the telescpopic handler had tipped loads of trucks the day before on comes the hse officer he noticed that the tyre on the telescopic handler had the directional arrow on the tyre facing the wrong way job stopped for 1 1/2 hours waiting for tyre to be changed round lol lol lol ytou couldnt make it up
3M at bedford are the same, the receptionist got a [ZB] for filling my cup up out of the kettle, and her boss told her i had to use the coffee machine upstairs, even tho its not working and even if it did, it doesnt dispence plain hot water…
They are the worst place i have ever been into for H&S…
papermonkey:
Sign of the times I’m afraid. I was yapping with a shunter at one of my regularly visited sites a few weeks ago, and he was telling me that at one place he pulled for, they even taught grown men how to use the toilet!..I’d be quite entertained to see other peoples experiences the only way you can ‘safely’ deal with BS like this is to take the ■■■■ out of it and have a giggle. You’d think that in these straightened times with cutbacks and ecconomies around every corner, that these muppets would be forced to get a proper job, somehow or other, they still find money to throw away on crap like this
To be honest that sounds like a good idea, look at the states of a lot of the toilets in RDC’s or others drivers toilets or service stations obviously there is a lot of people who have no idea how to use a toilet never mind flush it.
Kenny1975:
To be honest that sounds like a good idea, look at the states of a lot of the toilets in RDC’s or others drivers toilets or service stations obviously there is a lot of people who have no idea how to use a toilet never mind flush it.
I agree, there are too many people who lack basic social skills.
Bob
Mike-C:
Thats just director speak for “we don’t want the drivers in out kitchen”, then they wonder why people are ■■■■ with them in return.
Exactamondo! A lot of so called H&S rules, are just a smoke screen for something else.