Guys spending a life with one girl. Is this sensible?

[sirnicklebarsteward]

Was talking to a mate of mine recently. Me, as a 59 yr old fit and healthy, reasonably sensible (some may say not!) truck & recovery driver I can’t decide if I’m right to wonder why the hell anyone would want to spend their whole life with one woman, or, be like me, later in life, to have the freedom to meet a string of different, interesting and beautiful women from different parts of the world and enjoy myself, or are the guys that marry a partner and spend all their life with one woman, much better off than little old me! Don’t get me wrong I’ve tried the boring “settling down route” with a few women, but it has never really worked out, and NO i didnt cheat on em. All i got out of those relationships is grief and misery in the end. I hear from many guys, that their “ole lady” gives them constant aggro, but I also hear from single guys that they’re free and can play golf and pop down the pub etc. anytime they want. Just cannot decide which is the best way to go. Would anyone else like to comment? I would be genuinely interested in what folk have to say on here, and where they stand on this complex subject? NOT JUDGING EITHER WAY.

EARLY UPDATE 25 NOV 20

Thanks everyone who has responded. I really did enjoy reading the comments. Initially the consensus on here is the “Stay with one woman” brigade seems to be more popular, but it’s early days yet. Would still like to hear from the free and single guys and gals too to balance up the debate. It’s not a competion but i still think this thread has a way to run yet. Again people, this post is not here to judge anyone and everyones’ point of view counts. Just interested in the debate on this complicated subject. (SNB)

[robroy]

SirNickleBarsteward:
Was talking to a mate of mine recently. Me, as a 59 yr old fit and healthy, reasonably sensible (some may say not!) truck & recovery driver I can’t decide if I’m right to wonder why the hell anyone would want to spend their whole life with one woman, or, be like me, later in life, to have the freedom to meet a string of different, interesting and beautiful women from different parts of the world and enjoy myself, or are the guys that marry a partner and spend all their life with one woman, much better off than little old me! Don’t get me wrong I’ve tried the boring “settling down route” with a few women, but it has never really worked out, and NO i didnt cheat on em. All i got out of those relationships is grief and misery in the end. I hear from many guys, that their “ole lady” gives them constant aggro, but I also hear from single guys that they’re free and can play golf and pop down the pub etc. anytime they want. Just cannot decide which is the best way to go. Would anyone else like to comment? I would be genuinely interested in what folk have to say on here, and where they stand on this complex subject? NOT JUDGING EITHER WAY.

Depends who the woman is and what she’s like mate.
I’m a similar age to you, and I certainly played the field when I was younger, but found a unique woman to settle down with.
Dutch, blonde, stunning looker, (who still turns heads today) ex model, 6yrs younger than me, great cook and eyes for nobody else but me. …ticks ALL the boxes.
30+ years and 4 grown up kids, we’re still together…even though I’ve tramped most my life.

You talk as if being with somebody long term and having freedom is an either/or situation, I still go out with mates, had numerous lad’s weekends away in the past,.and she has never tried to tie me down.
I’ve got mates who have gone from one relationship to another, and I still feel I’ve got the better end of the deal,. I did all that stuff when I was younger, worked on a holiday camp as a resident DJ,.and had no shortage of …‘girlfriends’ , so it isnt’ that I’ve missed out either.

If you get the right woman who will stand by you it’s ideal mate,.I consider myself very fortunate.

[blue_estate]

I’m single. But my dear departed dad met my mum when he was 21 and she was sweet 16 they married a year later in the October of 1964 aged 22/17 respectively
My dad and mum were together for 42 years till he sadly left us due to the Big C [emoji22]
If it wasn’t for that they’d be looking down the barrel of their 55 th wedding anniversary next year

Sent from my truck

[sirnicklebarsteward]

robroy:

SirNickleBarsteward:
Was talking to a mate of mine recently. Me, as a 59 yr old fit and healthy, reasonably sensible (some may say not!) truck & recovery driver I can’t decide if I’m right to wonder why the hell anyone would want to spend their whole life with one woman, or, be like me, later in life, to have the freedom to meet a string of different, interesting and beautiful women from different parts of the world and enjoy myself, or are the guys that marry a partner and spend all their life with one woman, much better off than little old me! Don’t get me wrong I’ve tried the boring “settling down route” with a few women, but it has never really worked out, and NO i didnt cheat on em. All i got out of those relationships is grief and misery in the end. I hear from many guys, that their “ole lady” gives them constant aggro, but I also hear from single guys that they’re free and can play golf and pop down the pub etc. anytime they want. Just cannot decide which is the best way to go. Would anyone else like to comment? I would be genuinely interested in what folk have to say on here, and where they stand on this complex subject? NOT JUDGING EITHER WAY.

Depends who the woman is and what she’s like mate.
I’m a similar age to you, and I certainly played the field when I was younger, but found a unique woman to settle down with.
Dutch, blonde, stunning looker, (who still turns heads today) ex model, 6yrs younger than me, great cook and eyes for nobody else but me. …ticks ALL the boxes.
30+ years and 4 grown up kids, we’re still together…even though I’ve tramped most my life.

You talk as if being with somebody long term and having freedom is an either/or situation, I still go out with mates, had numerous lad’s weekends away in the past,.and she has never tried to tie me down.
I’ve got mates who have gone from one relationship to another, and I still feel I’ve got the better end of the deal,. I did all that stuff when I was younger, worked on a holiday camp as a resident DJ,.and had no shortage of …‘girlfriends’ , so it isnt’ that I’ve missed out either.

If you get the right woman who will stand by you it’s ideal mate,.I consider myself very fortunate.

Hey Rob

Im pleased you seem to have landed on yer feet there young man with the Dutch, blonde stunner! You certainly have a definate keeper there. As for your regular lads weekends etc. experience has shown that this type of activity usually gets the “Spanish Inquisition” upon returning home! I see your lucky and that hasn’t happened to you (yet). I wish you well and a continued happy relationship.
Does she have a single younger sister by any chance? …haaaaa only jestin.

[sirnicklebarsteward]

blue estate:
I’m single. But my dear departed dad met my mum when he was 21 and she was sweet 16 they married a year later in the October of 1964 aged 22/17 respectively
My dad and mum were together for 42 years till he sadly left us due to the Big C [emoji22]
If it wasn’t for that they’d be looking down the barrel of their 55 th wedding anniversary next year

Sent from my truck

I think in 1964 things were a little different then. Very touching and heartfelt story about your parents. A golden era in those days. I can definately relate to your post as my departed old Ma married only once and sacrificed her further happiness for me because she felt in her mind (not mine) remarrying when I was difficult age, would affect me growing up. Never quite understood it in later life, and think she regretted it too. However i respect her decision for doing it at the time. Broke my heart to see her so lonely and unhappy later in life as I left home. Still feel a tinge of guilt about that today even though God took her to be at his side, and relieve her of her pain, suffering and constant confusion due to that horrible disease, Alzheimers, which robbed her of her sharp mind and memories.

[juddian]

Each to their own, some are happy swapping partners as they would a car, others find great contentment with a solid reliable longer term partner.

As for me i’m also very fortunate, have a foreign wife who for some unknown reason thinks the world of me, she’s loyal passionate caring and can be both serious and fun with a heart as big as you could wish for, never nags never complains would defend her loved ones till the bitter end.
I’m happy, she’s happy, we trust each other implicitly and think the world of each other, so yes for us it is sensible.
There’s someone for everyone out there, the secret is not to be tricked by the packaging which is often painted or trowelled on, what’s important is what’s deep inside, what is there when your remove the paint?

The thing with a good woman is to first of all recognise what you have, then thank your lucky stars and make sure you tell her (and prove via your behaviour/loyalty/care) how much she means to you, every day without fail, make sure your last spoken words before you part company for the day or howver long are warm ones, be the centre of her life and she’ll be the centre of yours.

The trouble with so many blokes is that they are blinded by the paint, and put as much effort and care into choosing a mate as they might in choosing a car, yes the Ghia/Titanium/typeR model might look the part, have some toys to play with and might even impress other shallow blokes who’ll be itching to take it for a spin (but wouldn’t want the running costs or the unreliability), but once the shine wears off and the toys start wearing out what are you left with?

Similarly some girls/women don’t look for decency and honour in their men, its unfortunate that bad boys (wide boys) might appear to be more fun to be with, they probably like throwing money about like confetti because they have no interest in tomorrow, good men might not want to be the last one chucked out of the night club because they have to be at work in jobs they care about in 2 hour’s time, but when the time comes for providing those good blokes with the work ethic are worth a dozen of the wide boy players.
The thick wallet might be a tempting attraction for some types of girl, if so maybe the two types suit each other and good for them, the good women arn’t usually that impressed by such childish displays so the other rather deeper thinkers might find themselves suited too.

I’ve seen some really nice girls get themselves hooked up with bad boys, convinced somehow they can cahnge them into what they want them to be…odd that, because presumably the bad boy attracted them, the ghia/titanium version of bloke…again cool dude might have impressed other women

The answer is similar to the holy grail of jobs, if you’ve been lucky enough to land a good woman, cherish her.

[dipster]

robroy:

SirNickleBarsteward:
Was talking to a mate of mine recently. Me, as a 59 yr old fit and healthy, reasonably sensible (some may say not!) truck & recovery driver I can’t decide if I’m right to wonder why the hell anyone would want to spend their whole life with one woman, or, be like me, later in life, to have the freedom to meet a string of different, interesting and beautiful women from different parts of the world and enjoy myself, or are the guys that marry a partner and spend all their life with one woman, much better off than little old me! Don’t get me wrong I’ve tried the boring “settling down route” with a few women, but it has never really worked out, and NO i didnt cheat on em. All i got out of those relationships is grief and misery in the end. I hear from many guys, that their “ole lady” gives them constant aggro, but I also hear from single guys that they’re free and can play golf and pop down the pub etc. anytime they want. Just cannot decide which is the best way to go. Would anyone else like to comment? I would be genuinely interested in what folk have to say on here, and where they stand on this complex subject? NOT JUDGING EITHER WAY.

Depends who the woman is and what she’s like mate.
I’m a similar age to you, and I certainly played the field when I was younger, but found a unique woman to settle down with.
Dutch, blonde, stunning looker, (who still turns heads today) ex model, 6yrs younger than me, great cook and eyes for nobody else but me. …ticks ALL the boxes.
30+ years and 4 grown up kids, we’re still together…even though I’ve tramped most my life.

You talk as if being with somebody long term and having freedom is an either/or situation, I still go out with mates, had numerous lad’s weekends away in the past,.and she has never tried to tie me down.
I’ve got mates who have gone from one relationship to another, and I still feel I’ve got the better end of the deal,. I did all that stuff when I was younger, worked on a holiday camp as a resident DJ,.and had no shortage of …‘girlfriends’ , so it isnt’ that I’ve missed out either.

If you get the right woman who will stand by you it’s ideal mate,.I consider myself very fortunate.

Me too. Nearly 50 years together and still love being with her every single day. 3 great sons, 4 grandchildren. Find the right girl and life is bliss.

[lancpudn]

.
[/quote]
Me too. Nearly 50 years together and still love being with her every single day. 3 great sons, 4 grandchildren. Find the right girl and life is bliss.
[/quote]
Finding the right lady is very much the key. I’ve been married to my good lady wife for 47 years & with courting it’s over 50 years together. We’re both happy & still do everything together. I’ve known a few mates over the years whose private lives were a mess as they thought the grass was greener elsewhere & played the field so to speak, They ended up selling their houses & going on to have multiple kids with different partners and still playing away from home
I just couldn’t handle all that grief, hassle, financial loss just for a bit o skirt But as they say! every one to their own thing I suppose.

[carryfast]

Yep eligible women outnumber us 1000’s to 1 and at 61 I’m still fighting off all the unlucky wanabees with a stick and trade in for a new one every year.Truthfully it’s just like Carry on up the Jungle.

youtube.com/watch?v=T5zOdCuqpBE

Yeah right back in the real world.

[the_maoster]

I’d rather rent than buy.

[albion]

SirNickleBarsteward:

robroy:

SirNickleBarsteward:
Was talking to a mate of mine recently. Me, as a 59 yr old fit and healthy, reasonably sensible (some may say not!) truck & recovery driver I can’t decide if I’m right to wonder why the hell anyone would want to spend their whole life with one woman, or, be like me, later in life, to have the freedom to meet a string of different, interesting and beautiful women from different parts of the world and enjoy myself, or are the guys that marry a partner and spend all their life with one woman, much better off than little old me! Don’t get me wrong I’ve tried the boring “settling down route” with a few women, but it has never really worked out, and NO i didnt cheat on em. All i got out of those relationships is grief and misery in the end. I hear from many guys, that their “ole lady” gives them constant aggro, but I also hear from single guys that they’re free and can play golf and pop down the pub etc. anytime they want. Just cannot decide which is the best way to go. Would anyone else like to comment? I would be genuinely interested in what folk have to say on here, and where they stand on this complex subject? NOT JUDGING EITHER WAY.

Depends who the woman is and what she’s like mate.
I’m a similar age to you, and I certainly played the field when I was younger, but found a unique woman to settle down with.
Dutch, blonde, stunning looker, (who still turns heads today) ex model, 6yrs younger than me, great cook and eyes for nobody else but me. …ticks ALL the boxes.
30+ years and 4 grown up kids, we’re still together…even though I’ve tramped most my life.

You talk as if being with somebody long term and having freedom is an either/or situation, I still go out with mates, had numerous lad’s weekends away in the past,.and she has never tried to tie me down.
I’ve got mates who have gone from one relationship to another, and I still feel I’ve got the better end of the deal,. I did all that stuff when I was younger, worked on a holiday camp as a resident DJ,.and had no shortage of …‘girlfriends’ , so it isnt’ that I’ve missed out either.

If you get the right woman who will stand by you it’s ideal mate,.I consider myself very fortunate.

Hey Rob

Im pleased you seem to have landed on yer feet there young man with the Dutch, blonde stunner! You certainly have a definate keeper there. As for your regular lads weekends etc. experience has shown that this type of activity usually gets the “Spanish Inquisition” upon returning home! I see your lucky and that hasn’t happened to you (yet). I wish you well and a continued happy relationship.
Does she have a single younger sister by any chance? …haaaaa only jestin.

I have a female friend whose husband has one of those tracker apps on her phone. Made plans to go to the cinema, get there and there is a problem at the cinema. I suggest we go for a drink and no chance because himself wouldn’t wear it.

Fortunately Mr albion never batted an eyelid about me going out.

If he hadn’t expired, I presume we would still be together having done 28 years together with the usual ups and downs.

[sirnicklebarsteward]

Juddian:
Each to their own, some are happy swapping partners as they would a car, others find great contentment with a solid reliable longer term partner.

As for me i’m also very fortunate, have a foreign wife who for some unknown reason thinks the world of me, she’s loyal passionate caring and can be both serious and fun with a heart as big as you could wish for, never nags never complains would defend her loved ones till the bitter end.
I’m happy, she’s happy, we trust each other implicitly and think the world of each other, so yes for us it is sensible.
There’s someone for everyone out there, the secret is not to be tricked by the packaging which is often painted or trowelled on, what’s important is what’s deep inside, what is there when your remove the paint?

The thing with a good woman is to first of all recognise what you have, then thank your lucky stars and make sure you tell her (and prove via your behaviour/loyalty/care) how much she means to you, every day without fail, make sure your last spoken words before you part company for the day or howver long are warm ones, be the centre of her life and she’ll be the centre of yours.

The trouble with so many blokes is that they are blinded by the paint, and put as much effort and care into choosing a mate as they might in choosing a car, yes the Ghia/Titanium/typeR model might look the part, have some toys to play with and might even impress other shallow blokes who’ll be itching to take it for a spin (but wouldn’t want the running costs or the unreliability), but once the shine wears off and the toys start wearing out what are you left with?

Similarly some girls/women don’t look for decency and honour in their men, its unfortunate that bad boys (wide boys) might appear to be more fun to be with, they probably like throwing money about like confetti because they have no interest in tomorrow, good men might not want to be the last one chucked out of the night club because they have to be at work in jobs they care about in 2 hour’s time, but when the time comes for providing those good blokes with the work ethic are worth a dozen of the wide boy players.
The thick wallet might be a tempting attraction for some types of girl, if so maybe the two types suit each other and good for them, the good women arn’t usually that impressed by such childish displays so the other rather deeper thinkers might find themselves suited too.

I’ve seen some really nice girls get themselves hooked up with bad boys, convinced somehow they can cahnge them into what they want them to be…odd that, because presumably the bad boy attracted them, the ghia/titanium version of bloke…again cool dude might have impressed other women

The answer is similar to the holy grail of jobs, if you’ve been lucky enough to land a good woman, cherish her.

What a great and detailed answer. Loved it. I really do so relate to the “car scenario”. I did chuckle while reading your reply due to my advancing years, cos I think Ive have met most, if not all of the characters you describe in your post throughout my chequered journey thru’ life!

[gidders]

What Robroy and Juddian said,plus one.Not that it matters but mine is only 4ft 10" against my 6ft.