I will start with what is so annoying, with air passengers that stand up when the aircraft has stopped, then you get the mad stampede of idiots stood in the aisles getting their bags out of the overhead lockers, what is the rush ?
Guests in the hotel that say hello or good morning, then they latch on to you for the whole duration and ask you to join them on day trips or share the taxi fare, then you get their boring life and sob stories.
They suggest a good night out show or cabaret but it turns out to be rubbish and a rip off with cheap wine or horrid beer.
Dirty and unhygenic swimming pools.
Rooms that are not cleaned by housekeepers for a week.
Priority boarding which is just 1st class for budget airlines. Then realising its priority boarding for the coach to the airplane. Being first on the coach then means your the last buggers off it.
Overly gay trolley dolleys doing Julian Clarey impressions the whole flight.
“Bag of nuts Sir”
“Yes I have, thank-you for asking”
Oh and when one pretentious hyperchondriac with a nut allergy is on the flight that then bans nuts and stops me doing my nut joke.
Dipper_Dave:
Oh and when one pretentious hyperchondriac with a nut allergy is on the flight that then bans nuts and stops me doing my nut joke.
That actually happened to me on a flight, I couldn’t bloody believe it. If it’d been my airline I’d have made the “offender” sit outside for the flight. The annoying thing was I’d not even considered eating peanuts until they made the tannoy announcement and then they were the only thing I wanted! 
The most annoying thing for me on my holidays is the British! More specifically the ones who have no concept of how to behave in a civilised manner, they seem to think that because they are abroad it is acceptable to behave in a drunken and boorish manner. They actually make me cringe with embarrassment. They can usually be spotted by their huge beer bellies and replica football tops. Some of the men are just as bad too!
I took a flight and over the tannoy, all passengers were told not to eat nuts, we were told the airborne effects can trigger an attack on a nut dodger.
Brits abroad and their English breakfast that they must have when abroad, along with famous brands of their favorite tea and baked beans.
They will moan that they will not eat their foreign muck as it makes them ill.
Football and sports bars, with drunk lads in a huge groups , yelling loudly when their team scores.
English tourists that moan it is too hot when they have chosen a summer resort where the average heat is 40 degrees or above and they can not sleep at night.
They sunbathe wearing clothes ,and do not know how to apply sunscreen lotion, you can bet on it, that you will see several burnt red lobsters .
Tourists with fake soccer shirts and as said have a beer belly, and the men too .
You can bet on it, that you get the seat by the screaming baby that has the trots, the parents will say it is trapped wind.
Cabin staff that are moody and pretentious , and as said the Julian Clary impersonators mincing up and down .
Airline Captains that refuse my request to loop the loop over the Bay of Biscay, i paid good money and want some fun in the air .
Thanks to 911, i miss visits to the cockpit, you could see the curvature of the earth, and the buttons, switches and lights look complicated and confusing but most of them are fuses .
The space and room in the cockpit is very small, i do not how they can stay in there for 12 hours or more and must have a bladder like a balloon to hold it in , or they are ex trucker and wee in a bottle .
the maoster:
That actually happened to me on a flight, I couldn’t bloody believe it. If it’d been my airline I’d have made the “offender” sit outside for the flight. The annoying thing was I’d not even considered eating peanuts until they made the tannoy announcement and then they were the only thing I wanted!The most annoying thing for me on my holidays is the British! More specifically the ones who have no concept of how to behave in a civilised manner, they seem to think that because they are abroad it is acceptable to behave in a drunken and boorish manner. They actually make me cringe with embarrassment. They can usually be spotted by their huge beer bellies and replica football tops. Some of the men are just as bad too!
Was always flying BA but fed up now.
£600.- to Chicago 
30 min after Take Off a Meal and 1 Hour before landing a Snack
To LA you fly a few Hour longer and not more to eat and nothing to buy
NOW
Norwegian Air flies for £400.- Hand Luggage only 
For the £200.- i safe i can buy all i need when i arrive
For the £200.- less i fly LA
AND, I can buy as much Food on the fly i wanna to.
BA v/s Norwegian Air
BA has excellent service. Norwegian Air will have better Services as you expect by Price.
I fell once ill and they served me well. They will have First Aid Training,but i take Pills with me
Price is too high. £300.- in 2010 to Chicago and £370.- Miami,Boston or LA. Cant get any Better
£450.- in 2012 same Fly (+50%)
I think my son in law and his mates would vouch for me and say that Im one of the worst things found abroad. Things like pretending to speak the language by sticking an ‘O’ onto the end of every word are just the beginning.
Take a recent stag do to Amsterdam when my son in law invited me along without the wife to keep me in check.
Usual shenanigans to start with by getting the groom to wear his pink dress whilst sober at the departure airport then lead to me reviving the old game of cupping each others scrotums and uttering the immortal words “carry your bag sir”.
Playing this game at the most innapropriate moments is best and it starts out quite nice with just a gentle cupping then progresses to a firm squeeze.
Now after a few beers this game reaches a whole new level when that firm squeeze becomes a violent grab of your targets ■■■■■■■■■, in fact it gets to the point when if anyone even starts to say “carry your bag sir” the men folk in the group dive for cover looking to protect their now quite sore genitalia.
After a while though this game can wear a bit thin so upping the anti a bit I offer alcoholic rewards to the now slightly innebriated group if they play this game with complete strangers and a star prize to the one who does it to a woman preferably one that is a bit of a bruiser.
I should probably interject here that my reason for going was to “look after the young lads” whilst they where abroad, she who must be obeyed had given me strict instructions not to get them into trouble which I forgot after the first drink.
Anyway every group has one member who is a little ballsey and open to suggestion and on this occasion it was my son in law who after many beverages attempted to ■■■■■ a young lady whilst shouting “curry your bug shir”. A kaffule then ensued which lead to us being forcibly ejected from the night club.
What really gets my goat is when i`m quietly munching away on my croissant and a bloody jihadist jogs up and stabs me in the neck. Puts me in a grumpy mood for the rest of the morning.
I was happily munchingon my nuts 
The stewardess came along and said you have to put them away as a person on board is allergic and could have a hypphaltic shock. I said if its not the pilot I dont give a flying f .T
Bargain or a special offer on a holiday advertisement on the internet, you take a long time to book it, and the end the price has increaed by two or three times more than what was offered.
You ring the number, she will say they have no control on prices.
Even more annoying is a advertisement that says book now because there are only four places left and you have three minutes to book it.
You get to the end, passport details are needed, time up, can’t find the passport.
Start again, the price has gone up by double and is sold out .
You get on the flight and it’s half empty and so is the hotel.
The passenger next to you gloats that he paid £ 99 and you paid £199.