God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards
through the clouds, “Look Michael, look what I’ve made.”
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, “What is it?”
“It’s a planet,” replied God, “and I’ve put LIFE on it. I’m going to
call it Earth and it’s going to be a great place of balance.”
“Balance?” inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, “For example,
North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while South
America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot
spot. Over there I’ve placed a continent of white people and over
there is a continent of black people,”
God continued, pointing to different countries. “This one will be
extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in
ice.”
The Archangel, impressed by God’s work, then pointed to a small land
mass and said “What’s that one?”
“Ah,” said God. “That’s Britain, the most glorious place on Earth.
There are beautiful lakes, rivers, streams, and hills. The people from
Britain are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they’re going to
be found travelling the world. They’ll be extremely sociable,
hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as
diplomats and carriers of peace.”
Archangel Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed,
“What about the balance, God? You said there will be BALANCE!”
God replied wisely,
“Wait until you see the buggers I’m putting next to them in France.”
I like kitkats version posted on the 11th of March in this this thread better. 
kitkat:
when god was making earth he said to one guy, whats that place on the mapthe guy replied that’s scotland.
god said ok give them the best houses, the best animals and the best farms to feed there cattle on ,and the best food.
the guy say’s to god , how come your giving scotland the best of everything
god repliesdon’t worry my son you want to see the neighbours that i’m giving them
Sweaty socks have always had a strange sense of humour! 
Thecritic:
“Ah,” said God. “That’s Britain, the most glorious place on Earth.
There are beautiful lakes, rivers, streams, and hills. The people from
Britain are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they’re going to
be found travelling the world. They’ll be extremely sociable,
hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as
diplomats and carriers of peace.”
That’s a dream me thinks!!
V8KARLV8:
Thecritic:
“Ah,” said God. “That’s Britain, the most glorious place on Earth.
There are beautiful lakes, rivers, streams, and hills. The people from
Britain are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they’re going to
be found travelling the world. They’ll be extremely sociable,
hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as
diplomats and carriers of peace.”
A dream ■■? it would be a bloody nightmare!
Thecritic:
Sweaty socks have always had a strange sense of humour!
hey listen pal,yous geordie’s are only jock’s with your head kicked in
plus thats rich coming from a guy who has sarcastic as a middle name
OH dear, now you’ll set him off kitkat. The good citizens of Middlesborough generally do not like to be called Geordies. 
there there there,shame on me
The good citizens of Middlesborough generally do not like to be called Geordies.
- It’s Middlesbrough.
2.You’re right, they don’t. People from 'round here are known as “Smoggies”!
LucyR:
- It’s Middlesbrough.
OOPPS 
You know i’m not good north of Milton Keynes.
Coffeeholic:
LucyR:
- It’s Middlesbrough.
OOPPS
a Sweaty not good north of MK??
Problem was the we never built the wall big enough!
Problem was the we never built the wall big enough!
we never…was you there when wall was built
thats why it ain’t tall enough…they sent in the geordie’s from middlesbrough
to build it
tin hat is on
you’s should have left the job to us jocks, that way it would have been done right
I’ve been down here for 25 years TC and I have been home or seen the family up there, in over 8 years.
Coffeeholic:
I’ve been down here for 25 years TC and I have been home or seen the family up there, in over 8 years.
Ah… so we can’t be that bad eh neil?
Coffeeholic:
I’ve been down here for 25 years TC and I have been home or seen the family up there, in over 8 years.
as long as the accent is still there coffee you’ll be alright,as soon as that starts to go get your backside up here and get a few good beers down your neck,that will soon bring it all back to you.
it must be hard for you coffee 25years down there,you must be due a medal
kitkat:
it must be hard for you coffee 25years down there,you must be due a medal
We dont give you Citizenship that easy! 
The accent is still there as I’m sure one or two members on here can confirm.
Thecritic:
kitkat:
it must be hard for you coffee 25years down there,you must be due a medalWe dont give you Citizenship that easy!
citizenship…don’t want that,i’d rather die 1st.
it’s a bravery medal neil needs