My daughter lives and works in Oxford. She and her partner rent a flat in the centre at the eye watering price of over £1200 per month. They have bought a house in Bicester for over a quarter of a million pounds. This gets you a dog kennel in Oxford, hence the move. My wife and I said we’d drive down from Barrow for the weekend to help them move.
Neither of them drive. A week ago Tuesday I looked at van hire websites and chose Thrifty. Phoned and explained the situation. Collect the van Saturday and return it Monday morning.
‘You’ll need your driving licence, a utility bill from the last three months and a copy of a bank statement that matches the credit card you’ll be using’ Ok, thanks Emily.
Went into thrifty on Saturday morning. Presented documents to Emily.
First question. ‘Have you got your passport?’
‘Err, no, you didn’t say I needed it.’
‘But this licence doesn’t have your picture on it.’
‘Righttt?’
‘I need you to provide proof of identity, if you can’t we won’t be able to hire to you today.’
I explained that I lived 250 miles away, then pulled out my bus pass. She looked dismissive but passed it to her male colleague, who said it was acceptable.
She then looked at my bank statement (I did think ‘this has nothing to do with you’).
As I hadn’t been able to find a recent utility bill - Sod’s law, 2 dropped on the mat yesterday - I took a recent insurance certificate.
‘It’s not a utility bill!’
‘Yes, but I don’t have a recent one - they’re all twelve monthly now, on direct debit’
I’ll check on line at your address, but if I can’t find the information we won’t be able to hire to you today.’
After more problems - the address on my licence said 9ss instead of 9js - she eventually deigned to say they would rent me a van.
‘I’ll just copy these.’
‘Sorry - Not the bank statement, it has nothing to do with you.’ Look like poison, handed it back.
She returned with the licence and the photocopy and whispered to the colleague. They disappeared into a back room. They returned. He said ‘I’m sorry, but we won’t be able to hire to you today’.
He gave me back my licence and showed me the photocopy, which had ‘fake’ written all over it. I was stunned. I used to run a parcels franchise. I’ve hired literally hundreds of vans with that licence.
I went back to my daughter’s flat and we started moving her stuff in our hatchback - eight loads, compared to 2 in a van.
As I had plenty of time to think as I drove between Oxford and Bicester, I realised that of course the photocopy said fake - because it was a photocopy!
I phoned thrifty and spoke with Emily. I explained that the reason it showed fake was because it was a photocopy. ‘Well why didn’t you tell us?’
‘Because I hadn’t figured it out then.’
‘Why did you give us a photocopy?’
‘I didn’t, you took the photocopy.’
‘That’s not what you said!’
At this point I said ‘I was trying to help, we’re obviously going nowhere, goodbye.’
I googled ‘fake driving licence’ when I got home. Apparently about 4 million were issued like this in 1991/1992, photocopiers were becoming more sophisticated and they were worried that people would copy them and change the details. It caused so many problems that they stopped it. My licence is dated 1991. One guy had a similar problem to mine a couple of years ago, so took it to his local cop shop. They copied it, saw the fake and locked him up while they rang the DVLA. Nobody knew anything about it except one chap who’d been there in 1992 suddenly remembered the problem. I guess I’m lucky not to have been locked up!
It runs out in 2 years when I’m 70 anyway, so I guess I’ll just have to avoid hiring vans from Thrifty until then.
John.
No problem, “Show me your licence and where are you going with it?” was his next question, “Matlock Bath, Derbyshire” was my reply. “Where the **** is THAT?”, my answer was “160 miles North”. 
He vanished from sight and reappeared with a box of tools, plugs, points, fan belt, hoses, can’s of oil and water plus a book with loads of phone numbers “incase you have to abandon it, the furthest it has ever been is Swindon”. Well it went like a dream and I was back by 4.30 and the look on his face was priceless, I honestly think that he hadn’t expected it to survive the journey!
,well anyway my uncle was made reduntant and him and a couple o his mates wanted moving to a wee village outside bury st Edmunds soo when I handed the merc back9friday afternoon) I enquired to the cost o a 3.5 luton van…mmmm says the clerk the merc was hired for 7 days but you handed it back two and a half early…can you have the luton van back by sunday midnight fueled up ?. It was the quickest flitting I ever did was back parked up in the brs yard on sunday afternoon.
Robert