Anybody got any funny instructions on things you have bought, like this one, I bought a new deoderant stick today, it says “tear off wrapper and push up bottom”, it’s sore to walk, but when I ■■■■, the room smells great.
Sapper
I once bought a shirt that had on the lable “CAUTION. DO NOT IRON WHILST WEARING THIS GARMENT”
The missus had a bag of cashews the other week that had a warning on the bag “Caution, may contain nuts!” I should ■■■■■■■ hope so too!
The lighter i use for my stove indicates “always light away from face”. Glad i read the instructions first. 
On a takeaway coffee cup from McD’s it says contents may be hot. It’d better be for the price they charge.
Reminds me of the funny little car I had in oz. In the manual it read ‘the cup holder is located in the front console, the cup holder is designed to hold cups’ !!