Managed to avoid the ■■■■■■■ for the last ten years but finally had to do my first pallet hub last night.
Went in, after the rather dour faced bint at the window had half thrown/half passed a sheet of paper to me to fill in (she wasnt amused when I had to get out to get my reg number 
).
The place was chaos and made the wacky races look organised. At one point a forkie went past me so fast I swear he went back on time a la back to the future.
Had to kamikaze it with a different forkie who made the mistake of slowing down by 0.5mph and managed to ask him where I was supposed to go. He looked at me like id just told his kids Santa wasnt real then shouted some instructions in Japanese. No idea if he was actually speaking Japanese but it might as well have been for all the sense it made to me.
Played crossy road to get to the main building inbetween forklifts and artics with smoke coming off the tyres and eventually found someone standing still who didnt see me coming so he couldnt leg it before he got asked any silly questions like “What the ■■■■ do I do with this trailer?”
Got the trailer parked in a bay (I think it was a bay. Either that or someone had dripped a few drops of paint on the tarmac) I stupidly tried to do it slowly so I didnt damage anything which resulted in a queue of impatient lorry drivers having to wait, led by a rather angry looking Irish man who looked like he would happily have folded me up and stuffed me in my own pocket. Got it in the bay and off, got shouted at for not opening the curtains. Then got shouted at for not removing the straps. Didnt get shouted at for nearly getting flattened by a DAF, which was nice. He didnt get shouted at for nearly squashing a rather startled and shaken Scotsman which felt a tad double standardish but such is life.
Found my next trailer which, to my eternal joy and happiness, was behind another trailer. I was so happy at the prospect of having to go and find a shunter in this madhouse to move it, I almost burst into tears. Then it dawned on me I hadnt seen any shunters which meant they probably didn’t exist here and at that point I did burst into tears.
Luckily a kind forkie saw my dilemma and came to helpfully tell me in a calm tone to just move it across the yard. Only joking. He flew past at full speed shouting “move it over there”. He wasnt pointing anywhere when he said that though, which I found oddly unsettling.
Hooked it up and got in the cab. Swore loudly and got out to put the trailer brake off then moved it to a space. Hooked up the new trailer then forced myself into moving traffic infront of the first lorry that wasnt going flat out to get the ■■■■ out of there before I had a nervous breakdown.
Happy Hilda at the front gate gave me another sheet and told me I needed to fill in my arrival time on the other one. When I asked her where she said “In the box marked arrival time”, which im taking to be purely a helpful remark and not sarcasm in any manner.
I take my hat off to you guys who do those places day in, day out. Im sure next time my experience will make it a bit easier (some hope! lol)
