Benjie83:
the nodding donkey:
Oh for fs… enough already…Your entry for “flounce of the year” has been revoked. For excessive milking…
And your chance to get a free eddie shirt has been revoked for upsetting my delicate state, so enjoy those apples.
Good day to you sir. [emoji8]
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Shirts are ten a penny. The bodywarmer is where it’s at.
switchlogic:
[quote="Benjie83lllHe really isn’t spot on! ‘For no real reason’ he says clearly not understanding that for some our own minds can be our own worst enemies. Mental health isn’t solved with a ‘pull yourself together’, never was never will be
Wow Luke…I was coming at it from a ‘not adapting himself’ and ‘being a bit drama queenish’ (sorry o/p) I was not seeing it as a mental health thing or anywhere near as deep.
Must say he’s getting a bit of milking and mileage out of this thread, has he got some kind of competition or bet on with Carryfast and his mate Winseer? 
robroy:
switchlogic:
[quote="Benjie83lllHe really isn’t spot on! ‘For no real reason’ he says clearly not understanding that for some our own minds can be our own worst enemies. Mental health isn’t solved with a ‘pull yourself together’, never was never will be
Wow Luke…I was coming at it from a ‘not adapting himself’ and ‘being a bit drama queenish’ (sorry o/p) I was not seeing it as a mental health thing or anywhere near as deep.
Must say he’s getting a bit of milking and mileage out of this thread, has he got some kind of competition or bet on with Carryfast and his mate Winseer?
Well someone won’t be having starch used on his new green shirt before its posted… [emoji19]
Genuinely Mr rob, please see my reply to Mr dog, conversation is all, no flowers, milk, donations, or bjs are/were being sought.
just some good old fashioned opinions and chat was all I’d hoped for, some of best advice I’ve ever received has come via strangers, sadly I’ve not wrote the book of life so until I have…
… I’ll just keep moving on, as there’s a voice that keeps on calling me, down the road that’s where I’ll always be, every stop I make I make a new friend…
I’ll stop now. [emoji16][emoji16]
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Theres a strange sense of dejavu in the air…
the nodding donkey:
Theres a strange sense of dejavu in the air…
+1 
You take someone at face value…
jakethesnake:
the nodding donkey:
Theres a strange sense of dejavu in the air…+1
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
i wonder how many will pick up on the irony of that?
Bit of an update…
Spoke to depot driver rep last night, called me during his own time which was totally unexpected and proper kind of him as basically we’re strangers…
He seems to be a really good bloke with donkeys years under his belt, so I’m hoping I can put some trust into him and his feedback.
He’s said the feedback he’s received on me and my driving ability are very good, and went as far as to say that my personal character has gone down well too, despite my obvious anxiety which he wants to help me sort as he wants me to stay which has given me a big boost mentally.
He’s agreed it’s best I do just go get myself checked tomorrow just to be safe, then go in Tuesday for a meeting as he’s said he has possible options they can look at to help me stay if I choose to do so, and despite my rocky start so far he wants me to stay so again big boost for my moral.
Just see how it goes now, but even if I bow out I’m proud and my family are too that I made it this far, and I have no shame for being open about my mental state, and anyone who has a hate towards that can quite literally go fist em selves, I’m in life for me and my kids and I’ve no shame in walking away from anything to protect that, as im trying to build a life that will give them a better path than the one that’s led me to this point in mine, and I’ll do so once I’m right, so if I were worried about riddicule on the net I’d never have posted nowt…
So to all my haters out there I say this,… [emoji8][emoji847][emoji112]
To everyone else [emoji1634][emoji1634][emoji41][emoji41]
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dieseldog999:
jakethesnake:
the nodding donkey:
Theres a strange sense of dejavu in the air…+1
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
i wonder how many will pick up on the irony of that?
Probably just your good self. 
jakethesnake:
dieseldog999:
jakethesnake:
the nodding donkey:
Theres a strange sense of dejavu in the air…+1
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
i wonder how many will pick up on the irony of that?Probably just your good self.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
or possibly not,unless most in here are as thick as chester implies.
Well done Benji,
Sounds like they are really trying to keep you and are willing to support you which is awesome.
Give them the chance mate, you sound like a decent guy and would be great for you and them if you can get through this.
All the best mate I wish you well, what depot are you at??
Regarding the doctor, I would be wary of any SSRI type medication, as I believe that is sort of required to notify the DVLA you’re taking it. You don’t need to notify them of all anti-depression medicines, each one differs and some have multiple uses, but some of them can really make you sleepy/drowsy - Just ask anyone that has taken Amitriptyline in the past for pain management/sleep issues.
It sounds like you’re actually a decent driver with a decent personality and they want you to stay if possible. I would try and stick at it, as much as you can…Or until you hit your first bridge anyway 
Do they do Class 2 work? Perhaps doing a combination of Class 1 shunting/Trailer-Tetris and Class 2 road work to get you started until you feel more comfy?
bj86uk:
Well done Benji,Sounds like they are really trying to keep you and are willing to support you which is awesome.
Give them the chance mate, you sound like a decent guy and would be great for you and them if you can get through this.
All the best mate I wish you well, what depot are you at??
Cheers bud [emoji41][emoji41]
Things are looking up abit now,
I’ve been declared physically well so that’s a relief if nowt else, bloods good, thyroid is ticking, so kids are happy, Mrs ain’t but meh can’t please em all [emoji38]
I’ve also voluntarily signed up for once weekly sessions with NHS councillor to see if I can get my past ■■■■■ under control…(so I hope my planners going to be an on side bloke and get me home so I can go every week, as I have too and want too!! )…as my doctor believes its these issues that are causing the anxietys, leading me to the point I came too, basically fight or flight.
It’s been explained that because I’m putting the brain under so much pressure to succeed, it’s showing me in return all the past griefs as a way of trying to push me forward away from it as it knows I want to succeed so badly so in a Wierd way its trying to frighten me away/towards the goal of basically being happy/safe and well again.
Sounds mad but it totally makes sense.
Coupled with lifes daily pressures and, well, yeah it’s caused a ■■■■ storm, but one which I hope I can fix/manage using what I’m learning.
Alas, Had a meeting with my TM yesterday and they’ve been really fair with me, not sacked me but did give me a good bollocking which I fully respect and as an added perk they have put a gun to my head too lol so I’ve a day with a seasoned vet on Sunday, then that’s it, I’m out on my own…
Totally respect and understand why they’ve done so and had never been under any illusions that it is to be that way, I’m there to drive, so it’s down to me now.
My driver reps a legend, and I think on the whole ‘off the record’ they both understand why I’ve happened, and that regardless it was the safest thing to have happened, and I could only apologise for anything they deem as ■■■■ being caused for being so.
Talking to other drivers yesterday also helped massively, they were all proper gents towards me an that gave me a big boost along with hearing their confidence and acknowledgements of their own failings lol past escapades, learning curves, words of wisdom, encouragement and ■■■■ taking which was all really appreciated an I’m looking forward to more of it to come [emoji106]
So yeah, nuff waffle it’s time to fire up the Quattro sunday morning, grow a pair and accept the fact that no matter what I do I’m gonna ■■■■ up lol so it’ll just be the depth I’ve to worry about… or the height [emoji38]
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Hyh:
Regarding the doctor, I would be wary of any SSRI type medication, as I believe that is sort of required to notify the DVLA you’re taking it. You don’t need to notify them of all anti-depression medicines, each one differs and some have multiple uses, but some of them can really make you sleepy/drowsy - Just ask anyone that has taken Amitriptyline in the past for pain management/sleep issues.It sounds like you’re actually a decent driver with a decent personality and they want you to stay if possible. I would try and stick at it, as much as you can…Or until you hit your first bridge anyway
Do they do Class 2 work? Perhaps doing a combination of Class 1 shunting/Trailer-Tetris and Class 2 road work to get you started until you feel more comfy?
Cheers fella, no meds for me for now, thank fski!!
And no they only run artics, only rigids are the training trucks I do believe…
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