2 dyslexics rush into a bank with guns and shout:
"Air in the hands motherstickers, this is a [zb] up
Murphy calls to see his mate Paddy who has a broken leg. Paddy says, me feet are freeing mate, could you nip upstairs & get me slippers? No Bother he says & runs upstairs, & there are Paddy’s two stunning 19 year old twin daughters sat on their bed. “Hello der girls, ur dad sent me up here the shag ya both”. “■■■■ off ya liar” they said, “I’ll prove it” says murphy. So he shouts down the staris, “both of them Pat”? “Course, what the use of ■■■■■■■ one of them”
Paddy applies for a job at the stables.
“Can you shoe a horse?” asks the stablemaster. Paddy thinks about it, then replies:
“No, but I once told a donkey to F off.”
Just after a woman gives birth to her baby, the doctor asks if she wants the good news or the bad news.
“The bad news, doctor”, replies the mother.
“It’s ginger”, says the doctor
“So what’s the good news?!”
“It’s dead.”
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful woman wave at
him and say hello.
He’s rather taken aback, because he can’t place where he knows her
from.So he says, “Do you know me?”
To which she replies,“I think you’re the father of one of my kids.”
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever
been unfaithful to
his wife and says,“My God, are you the stripper from my stag
party that I made love to on the pool table with all my pals
watching,while your partner whipped my ■■■■ with wet celery■■?”
She looks into his eyes and calmly says, “No, I’m your son’s
math teacher.”
, shame its edited 
