Why do farmers always put the gate in the muddiest part of the field ?
Because it’s not the muddiest part until it’s had several trucks / tractors running through it…? 
Because if they put it in the muddiest part they can then get subsidies for drainage work for the whole field 
Reminds me of the standard farmer’s remark, “It’s hard underneath, driver”.
Ranks with, “We’ve had bigger lorries than that in here”.
My usual reply to a driver who says they can’t get in here is ’ Let me show you how its done then!!!’
definition of a farmer is a man outstanding in his field
hanson:
definition of a farmer is a man outstanding in his field
thehairyarsedtrucker:
Why do farmers always put the gate in the muddiest part of the field ?
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It’s an EU directive.
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Why do they pull out infront of you when you’re the only thing on the road?
Muckaway:
Why do they pull out infront of you when you’re the only thing on the road?
probably the same reason all the other road users have who do it too 
Because cattle congregate at gate ways for milking, feeding etd and they “poach” the gateway. But it baffles me why a farmer who can afford to spend !00 grand on a tractor cant afford to spend 15 quid on gate furniture and they’d rather use string
Also, Why is it that nearly all of this country`s major battles were fought on land owned by English Heritage?
cheekymonkey:
Also, Why is it that nearly all of this country`s major battles were fought on land owned by English Heritage?
The most famous battle was the Battle of Hastings, English Heritage own that land, they must have won
The National Trust must have been in a few battles too…
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It’s harvest time on the A19.
Why do some cars slow down to 15mph just to overtake a farm tractor ?
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Bale Bandit:
Because cattle congregate at gate ways for milking, feeding etd and they “poach” the gateway. But it baffles me why a farmer who can afford to spend !00 grand on a tractor cant afford to spend 15 quid on gate furniture and they’d rather use string
Now that was funny
redbob:
Bale Bandit:
Because cattle congregate at gate ways for milking, feeding etd and they “poach” the gateway. But it baffles me why a farmer who can afford to spend !00 grand on a tractor cant afford to spend 15 quid on gate furniture and they’d rather use stringNow that was funny
Or buy a couple of loads of stone to tip in the gateways to stop them getting chewed up.
Dave the Renegade:
redbob:
Bale Bandit:
Because cattle congregate at gate ways for milking, feeding etd and they “poach” the gateway. But it baffles me why a farmer who can afford to spend !00 grand on a tractor cant afford to spend 15 quid on gate furniture and they’d rather use stringNow that was funny
Or buy a couple of loads of stone to tip in the gateways to stop them getting chewed up.
We’ve GIVEN one of our locals 2 loads of planings to sort out a gate we tip through, he used it on his f…ing driveway
When I first read this I was thinking “Farmers”=“Farmer Giles” (piles) but they won’t pay for planings “too much money boy!” free tip for ■■■■■■■■,then moan “them lumps was too big” don’t yer just love em 
thehairyarsedtrucker:
Why do farmers always put the gate in the muddiest part of the field ?
Because they are thick.
altitude:
thehairyarsedtrucker:
Why do farmers always put the gate in the muddiest part of the field ?Because they are thick.
Not thick! them and money are the best of friends,very seldom parted