After breaking down on the Leicester ring road during the rush hour this morning,I achieved fame and a mention in the local traffic news,as the ubiquitous “broken down lorry blocking 2 lanes” 
2 bloody hours I sat there in the burning sun,as both our breakdown service (it’s a hire wagon ),and the local recovery summoned by the exasperated local old bill,were both given the wrong location 
…how a simple road name can be so distorted by a couple of phone calls beggars belief 
Note my location 
BILL
For being late for work £25
For the fuel use whilst waiting £10
Extra drink cos I used up the one in my flask £2
Extra sarnies cos I ate them whilst waiting £5
For peeing in my pants whilst waiting and having them dry-cleaned £50 - well, it was embarassing 
TOTAL £92
Please PM me a cheque
PS - I work in COV and I was not on the ring road but I could not resist trying it on 
I remember breaking down in Stoke once, and made the local radio, felt very proud 
!
Don’t talk to me about peeing 
…I was bostin’ for a leak,but every time I went for my pee pee jug,either the phone went,or one of my guardian coppers came for a chat
Should have told the policeman you were pregnant could have peed in his hat