So there I was kicking back at the Shell services on the A20 between Gouda and Rotterdam last Tuesday afternoon on my way down to the boat, when a southern Irish gentleman in a rather smart high visibility jacket and driving a small, 57 plated, white pick up came a tap, tap, tappin’ at my window.
Judging by the pile of cobbles in the back of his pick up, he was an enterprising chap with his finger on the pulse, who was diversifying in order to satisfy local tastes: “Cobble yer droive fer yer, sor?”
However, the thrusting entrepreneur was having a bad day and was frankly in a bit of a pickle.
The unfortunate chappie was nearly out of diesel and his BP card (which he obviously had in his wallet as he had an honest face 
) was not accepted at the (Shell) services so he “needed to borrow a couple o’liters o’diesel, there” in order to make it to the next exit and double back to the BP services on the other side of the motorway.
He never did explain why he was unable to make a cash payment to negotiate the purchase of diesel. Perhaps the wily Dutch had hoodwinked the poor hapless foreigner and had paid him in cheese for his cobbling activities.
I know not.
His day then went from bad to worse, as he had stumbled upon a “German” with a very limited command of the English language.
I spent an amusing couple of minutes running a random selection of heavily accented , badly pronounced words past him, as he tried in vain to convey the nature of his plight to this “Gorman eejit”, before he gave up and trolled off to look for another victim.
Curiously, he neglected to approach the myriad assortment of eastern Europeans, probably having reasoned that if he couldn’t get any sense out of a Kraut, he would have no luck with any of those eastern Johnnies.
Last I saw of him, he was screaming out of the services (not very good for the auld fuel economy, there, Seamus) to probably go and try the same scam at the BP on the other side of the motorway.
■■■■■ scrotebag 
i hate all ■■■■■ scum. they never give up with the old short of diesel scam and will be the first to take it at night when your asleep after you have said no in the day light hours.
Sure they’ll give up the fuel trick once, they are educating their next generation towards something else:
Couple of months ago I walked past some caravans (parked just so on the grass between road and cyclepath) and was approach by two boys, age 5 and 4 I’d guess…
“d’you’ve some spare money, sir?”
“I’m terribly sorry, I don’t, I always pay by card”
some headscratching…“right, how about some chocolates?”
…made me chuckle 
Couple of days after this, same place, same caravans (seemed to me the same), two lads carrying plasma TV, about a meter diagonal, unpacked, cables dangling… “wanna buy plasma mae’?” asked one, “will deliver” added the other
“I don’t want you to know where I live”… they couldn’t run after me with that big tv…
Love it!
I was approached 20 years ago in the same casual manner in East Germany by a “tarmac gang”, same story, can youse help us, we need some diesel to get to the bank, this garage will not take our oirish money.
punts, 
When one of our ■■■■■ friends asked me the same old line, “I need some diesel mate, I won’t make it to the next garage”, I always find that the reply, “let that be a lesson to you and remember to steal a bit more next time”, makes them feel that you really understand them.
Wheel Nut:
Love it!
I was approached 20 years ago in the same casual manner in East Germany by a “tarmac gang”, same story, can youse help us, we need some diesel to get to the bank, this garage will not take our oirish money.
punts,
Malc your spellcheck isn’t working mate
had some pull outside my house while i washed my car and the passenger leans out the window to say"hi there mate weve just finished a job up the road there and have some blocks left,just enough to do your drive,at a very good price,but we gotto do it this week" so i replied with “sorry lads i got a couple of ■■■■■■ comin round next week with some tarmac they got left off a job” a few expletives shouted at me whilst the sped off 
If it`s any consolation this breed of vermon is hated as much this side of the pond.(probably more).
