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“Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.”
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“I would not allow this employee to breed.”
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“This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won’t be.”
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“This young lady has delusions of adequacy.”
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“Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.”
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“When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.”
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“He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.”
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“This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.”
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“This employee should go far-and the sooner he starts, the better.”
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“Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn’t watching.”
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“A room temperature IQ.”
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“Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.”
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“A gross ignoramus – 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.”
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“A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.”
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“As bright as Alaska in December.”
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“The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming.”
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“He’s so dense, light bends around him.”
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“If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.”
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“It’s hard to believe that he beat 1,000,000 other sperm.”
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“It takes him 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes.”
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“The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.”
Very Good
The all important one for a driver, “Your an accident waiting to happen” only ever said to me once or twice while being sacked. Or “Clear off before i kick your head in.” My bosses last words to me after 4 months doing the sheep feed.