Electric Train

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said,

“All of you sons of ■■■■■■■ who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of ■■■■■■■ who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we’re going down the tracks.”

The mother went nuts and told her son,

“We don’t use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language.”

Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say,

“All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon.”

She hears the little boy continue,

“For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today.”

As the mother began to smile, the child added,

“For those of you who are ■■■■■■ off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the ■■■■■ in the kitchen.”

feel free to post your own! cant beat a good joke!

His sister■■?

This is a story about the bond formed between a little girl and a group of building workers. It’s allegedly true and might help to confirm your belief in the goodness of people and that there is hope for the human race…

A young family moved into a house next door to an empty plot. One day, a gang of building workers turned up to start building on the plot.

The young family’s 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers.
She hung around and eventually the builders, all with hearts of gold, more or less adopted the little girl as a sort of project mascot.
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They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had tea and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

They even gave the child her very own hard hat and gloves, which thrilled her immensely.

At the end of the first week, the smiling builders presented her with a pay envelope - containing two pounds in 10p coins. The little girl took her ‘pay’ home to her mother who suggested that they take the money to the bank the next day to open a savings account.
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At the bank, the female cashier was tickled pink listening to the little girl telling her about her ‘work’ on the building site and the fact she had a ‘pay packet’.

‘You must have worked very hard to earn all this’, said the cashier.
The little girl proudly replied, ‘Yes, I worked every day with Steve and Wayne and Mike. We’re building a big house.’

‘My goodness gracious,’ said the cashier, ‘And will you be working on the house again next week?’
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The child thought for a moment. Then she said seriously: ‘I think so. Provided those [zb]s at Jewsons deliver the [zb] bricks on time.’

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