Drunken morning ramblings in the style of Lovlyperson

OUT OF HOURS BULLY'S TRUCKSTOP BAR (INTERACTIVE)
1

Morning crab fans, today I want to talk about utter ■■■■■■■■.

I’m sat on an industrial estate in Peterborough chilling out for 45 minutes before I can go home so I’d thought I’d spout some nonsense.

Smilies, what are they all about? This one > :smiley: and this one > :laughing: really ■■■■ me off because they just look smug and I want to knock their teeth out. Is Alex Lester drunk tonight, or is it just me? When I get home I’m going to celebrate by having a few beers, hanging out an upstairs window and drunkenly shouting at passers by on their way to work or school. I might have a Chicago Town microwaveable pizza (other pizzas are available) and ■■■■■■■■■■ over my sleeping girlfriend. Good morning, speak later.

2

if the real posts from toby789654 / lovlydude weren’t enough we now have spoof posts ! :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

3

nice one crabby, its good to find someone on here who dosn’t take life, or themselves to seriously.
Theres enough old women on here as it is… :smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

4

Why do some people feel the need to type “simples” at the end of a thread?

5

skids:
Why do some people feel the need to type “simples” at the end of a thread?

Is this the start of a joke? I’m waiting for the punch line.

6

SmashedCrabFace:

skids:
Why do some people feel the need to type “simples” at the end of a thread?

Is this the start of a joke? I’m waiting for the punch line.

Because people think that its funny to add it at the end, …

…

…

…simples!

:smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :slight_smile: :stuck_out_tongue: :stuck_out_tongue: :stuck_out_tongue: :stuck_out_tongue: :stuck_out_tongue: :grimacing: :grimacing: :grimacing: :laughing: :laughing: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :smiley: :smiley: :angry: :angry:

7

A sentence can be spoken and the way its meant can be misleading unless a suitable facial expression accompanies the words, the smilies do the same thing when on a forum like this one where there are people in abundance who just love to pick up and criticise others opinions :exclamation: :question: :wink: :slight_smile: :blush: :unamused: :grimacing:
Simples!

8

raymundo:
A sentence can be spoken and the way its meant can be misleading unless a suitable facial expression accompanies the words, the smilies do the same thing when on a forum like this one where there are people in abundance who just love to pick up and criticise others opinions :exclamation: :question: :wink: :slight_smile: :blush: :unamused: :grimacing:

Totally agree Raymond, but most of the smilies look like smug [zb]s and make me want to knock their shiny white teeth out. That is all.

9

SCF, the only person who called me by my full name was my dear ole mum when I was in line for a bollocking for something I’d done. Still don’t like it to this day :blush: :cry: :unamused: :slight_smile: , :smiley: :smiley: last two for you

10

When I see :smiley: or :slight_smile: or, in particularly :laughing: , this is what I imagine the poster’s actual face to look like:

Am I the only one that thinks this?

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Probably,… I think you need to get some sleep, haha lol (no smilies)

12

raymundo:
Probably,… I think you need to get some sleep, haha lol (no smilies)

I think you’re right. Night night raymundo.

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I have just wasted 20 minutes of my life reading this :stuck_out_tongue:

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SmashedCrabFace:
and ■■■■■■■■■■ over my sleeping girlfriend. Good morning, speak later.

is this a solo effort or will there be a entrance fee and a queue round the block :question: :question:

jonboy

16

fingers:

SmashedCrabFace:
and ■■■■■■■■■■ over my sleeping girlfriend. Good morning, speak later.

is this a solo effort or will there be a entrance fee and a queue round the block :question: :question:

jonboy

Tut - won’t someone please think of the children! :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

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:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile:

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SmashedCrabFace:
When I see :smiley: or :slight_smile: or, in particularly :laughing: , this is what I imagine the poster’s actual face to look like:

Am I the only one that thinks this?

This dozy Pillbox hasn’t looked like that for a long time, he weights 3 times that now, the fat b…d
:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

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Wheel Nut:
I have just wasted 20 minutes of my life reading this :stuck_out_tongue:

It took you 20 minutes just to read this? How long does it take you to read a book?

20

The image contained words that would have been [zb]ed by the auto censor, so it had to go. dd.