Used to work with a chap who travelled all over europe delivering explosives without AFT as “you didn’t need it in those days”. The problem was for security at a site he was asked for passport as ID and revealed he’d never had one or left the country…
muckles:
I got told this week the a hospitality company ask a driver to give a Chef a lift in his truck, but not to let him drink as if you are stopped with a drunk passenger you’ll lose you licence.
The roaster telling you this tale has obviously never heard of the Designated Driver scheme eh? I’m guessing if you pulled him about that he would claim this getting done for a drunk passenger only applies to trucks. 
Coffeeholic:
muckles:
I got told this week the a hospitality company ask a driver to give a Chef a lift in his truck, but not to let him drink as if you are stopped with a drunk passenger you’ll lose you licence.The roaster telling you this tale has obviously never heard of the Designated Driver scheme eh? I’m guessing if you pulled him about that he would claim this getting done for a drunk passenger only applies to trucks.
He’d covered that one and kept saying Cab of the vehicle. But to be honest I can’t even be bothered to pick them up on it anymore as they always know better than me, I just let stuff like that go in one ear and out the other.
If I was in Andy Disco’s shoes I’d just switch off,
Coffeeholic:
You need to train this guy, I’ve trained my tame agency guy over the last few months and this is the total conversation for tonights shift so far.19:20. I have unit already coupled up and he arrives
Him - Evening.
Me - Evening.
Him - What’s the mileage?
Me - 37457619:50
Him - I’m going for the paperwork.
Me - Okay.20:00
Me - What did they put the load as?
Him - 70%
Me - Ta.21:00 ish
Him - How’s the fuel?
Me - Plenty, we won’t need to stop for any.23:34, 300 metres from Charnock Richard.
Him - What’s the mileage going to be?
Me - 37489023:43
Him - did you do the clip?
Me (now in passenger seat) - Yep
Him - Cards all done?
Me - Yep, ready to go.
Him - What did he say the load was?
Me- 35%
(He does legs, lines and number plate on both trailers and I do dog clips on both trailers, swap paperwork with Scottish driver and swap the digi cards over)01:03 near Stoke.
Him - What’s this idiot doing man?
Me - What a ■■■■.And that’s it so far.
Based on previous shifts the conversation for the rest of the shift will he something like this.
03:30 ish.
Me - What’s the mileage?
Him - 3752■■03:35 ish
Me - Right, see you tonight. (as I head for my car and he goes to take the keys in and download his card)
Him - Have a good one man.
Me - And you.That’s a proper double manned shift with no BS.
I’ve had trips like that lasting for days, even with a decent co-driver, sometimes it’s better to look at the nice fields and fluffy clouds than talk about the same old thing again. 
and the ipod is a great invention especially when double manning.
luckily muckles i dont have that problem any more he got the boot after diesel was found in his car with the same colour dye our lot use lol
but this past week ive been recyling his storys to a younger generation as weve had a young lad start whos never driven commercially before so I’m now a trucking god in his eyes
Andydisco:
luckily muckles i dont have that problem any morebut this past week ive been recyling his storys to a younger generation as weve had a young lad start whos never driven commercially before so I’m now a trucking god in his eyes
That young lads on another forum talking about the b.s. he’s getting from some old duffer he’s working with !
Trev_H:
Andydisco:
That young lads on another forum talking about the b.s. he’s getting from some old duffer he’s working with !
oi Trev less of the old duffer but yer probably right there 
but the difference is that i’ll be telling him tonight that they were all a pile of horse poop and the true story of " sandy mcgrab" lol
Heard this one a few years back:
The Driver concerned was stopped by French police on a routine stop, picture the scene, one experienced officer and one young upstart.
They notice his analogue charts show he drove more than 10hrs on the previous day, the upstart questions the driver about this and reminds the driver he had the choice of a couple of service areas that would of kept him within the law,
So the driver says “Ah but the services I stopped at is doing buy one get one free on house wine”
At which point the experienced officer hands the charts back to the driver with a cheery smile and a Bonne Journee’
======================================================================================================
BS?
Sorry to bring this up again,but I just remembered this one.In the days of duty free,one litre of spirits and 200 ■■■■-I was told this as Gospel.‘Honest mate I do it all the time’.Bring as many as you want in.Just make sure you break the seal on the bottles and tip a capful out.Open every carton of ciggies,take one out of one pack.Nowt they can do. 
What about…One of our drivers hit a bridge last night that he had been under ok for weeks in the same motor,just so happens that a train was passing over at the same time and the bridge dipped by a few inches.
Coffeeholic:
dew:
“I’ve got a cunning plan”I know a planning cu…, no, not going there.
Me too
Sir +:
Sorry to bring this up again,but I just remembered this one.In the days of duty free,one litre of spirits and 200 ■■■■-I was told this as Gospel.‘Honest mate I do it all the time’.Bring as many as you want in.Just make sure you break the seal on the bottles and tip a capful out.Open every carton of ciggies,take one out of one pack.Nowt they can do.
There is a point to that though. You cannot be done for evading duty if you can prove they are for own use, you cant sell a bottle of scotch with a broken seal
I remember being told that if you were parked up on a night out, you could take the unit if you needed to go get food etc, and log it as “personal mileage”. 
I have heard that too,drop the trailer in search of a good meal and a shower,with no fine if caught,and clause the tacho,the French take eating very seriously.
The last one I had in the cab with me
Had told numerous coppers to f*** off on numerous occasions while working as a truck driver… and they did
Told me when he used to work on recovery, a very common cause of truck crashes was on a particular spot of the M1 where foreign drivers would put their cruise control on and have an hours kip while the tram lines took care of their steering, and they wouldn’t wake up at their usual spot, which was a particular bridge that made a loud noise as you passed under it
Drank 15 pints of lager and a bottle of vodka on his 18th birthday, had 3 hours kip, and still got up for (non truck driving) work the next day
Drove from Derby to somewhere on the M4 around juntion 16/17 area in under an hour at a steady pace of 150mph with a car load of lads in the early hours
Got held up at gunpoint at Thurrock services but disarmed him and put him into a coma before driving off.
There was more, but I can’t remember much of it. I switched off after a couple of hours.
terratology:
I was with one of the older drivers at the firm i work for the other week and got onto the subject of what our parents did for work. it turned out he used to live in London and his dad used to earn 1.2 million big ones a year in wait for it… 1978 (working for someone mind)! God knows how they afford the council house they live-in now!?
You saying that, I used to work for London Underground, the station I worked there was a station assistant who had died, they emptied his work locker, and he had approx 9 years of wages in the locker … he had been on the fiddle when they used to give the staff the money prior to barriers one for company one for him etc … they didn’t know how long it had gone on for but he had 5/6 houses and approx 400k wages nowadays and they couldn’t do a thing.
this was back in 1999.
Andydisco:
Coffeeholic:
ShropsBri:
I would like to be in the saturdays…have you seen those girls■■?Preaching to the choir brother.
I said to my mate the other day “i’d love to be casseroled by the Saturdays”
he said “ya dopey git you mean caressed?”so I said “no casseroled done slowly for 4 hours”
^^^^^
loving this thread!
a couple of years ago, i was doubled up with probably an ex sas was something like anyways!!
he told me he used to do Aberdeen to Saudi, everything was all singing and dancing fridge, freezer, micro, tv, all in the late 90’s , mega bucks wages the lot !! but the best was to come he told me that he had the passenger seat removed and a shower installed and a water tank on the cab roof because you couldn’t get a proper shower in Saudi!! and it was so hot !
well sorry guys had to tell someone, its been eating me up for years !!!
more to come because another just came to me!