We’re constantly bombarded with data telling us that using a hand held mobile whilst driving is very distracting. I’ll happily accept that, but what about when the insect version of an Apache helicopter gunship invades your workspace? Let me tell you that it is bloody distracting, motorway services are too far apart, and I can in fact scream louder than any girl! 
A lovely creature that but a bit disconcerting when it suddenly appears in front of yer eyes 
Hope you managed to eject her where she could fly off and live free 
Juddian:
Hope you managed to eject her where she could fly off and live free
Pulled into services, opened passenger door, persuaded it to leave with tactical use of my air duster! I think it may have taken my wallet though! 
My apologies to any other road users I may have inadvertently killed whilst distracted!
Well done, i hit the panic button when a wasp enters, dunno about that minature Stuka.
Juddian:
Hope you managed to eject her.
The words ‘‘Maoster’s cab’’ and ‘‘ejecting females’’ are rarely used in the same sentence. 
robroy:
Juddian:
Hope you managed to eject her.The words ‘‘Maoster’s cab’’ and ‘‘ejecting females’’ are rarely used in the same sentence.
Well, not until the early hours anyway!
Juddian:
Well done, i hit the panic button when a wasp enters, dunno about that minature Stuka.
Same. I’ve just collected from a honey manufacturer which is great for someone like me who is petrified of wasps/bees. Ironically they’re all effectively drunk on the honey so are docile and dont bother anyone but still… too close.
We do a daily collect from some packaging firm which is now based on a farm near Beaconsfield where we tend to collect interesting beasts. I found one crawling up my arm while doing 56mph up the M40 which induced a screaming fit and much angst.
Nights out haven’t been the same since as I dont know where it’s gone. I’m half expecting to wake up and find it spooning me one morning
I swear an insect damaged my windshield (a 20p size chip appeared) on impact at 50mph a few nights ago.
Bear Grylls would be delighted if he was you, OP. You can eat these RAAAAW
This is what happens when a driver gets distracted (in this case he went for a sip of his frothy coffee when the lid came off, depositing the contents of the cup in his lap):
youtu.be/tkHzp9xV6vQ
On my first test for Class 1 I drove through a swarm of bees and a few got in.
ETS:
I swear an insect damaged my windshield (a 20p size chip appeared) on impact at 50mph a few nights ago.Bear Grylls would be delighted if he was you, OP. You can eat these RAAAAW
On a recent night out I unhandcuffed my inner idiot and ended up playing a drinking game. Two shots of JD honey in a glass with a locust in it. You drank the shot then ate the critter. First one was hard to swallow but funnily enough the next lot got easier. Only felt queasy the next morning when cleaning my teeth and saw a leg on my toothbrush! 
the maoster:
ETS:
I swear an insect damaged my windshield (a 20p size chip appeared) on impact at 50mph a few nights ago.Bear Grylls would be delighted if he was you, OP. You can eat these RAAAAW
On a recent night out I unhandcuffed my inner idiot and ended up playing a drinking game. Two shots of JD honey in a glass with a locust in it. You drank the shot then ate the critter. First one was hard to swallow but funnily enough the next lot got easier. Only felt queasy the next morning when cleaning my teeth and saw a leg on my toothbrush!
I’ve come to the conclusion Moaster that you’re quite mental sometimes.
Geoffo:
the maoster:
ETS:
I swear an insect damaged my windshield (a 20p size chip appeared) on impact at 50mph a few nights ago.Bear Grylls would be delighted if he was you, OP. You can eat these RAAAAW
On a recent night out I unhandcuffed my inner idiot and ended up playing a drinking game. Two shots of JD honey in a glass with a locust in it. You drank the shot then ate the critter. First one was hard to swallow but funnily enough the next lot got easier. Only felt queasy the next morning when cleaning my teeth and saw a leg on my toothbrush!
I’ve come to the conclusion Moaster that you’re quite mental sometimes.
Quite so.
Who would want to make a nice, crispy, deep fried, locust soggy? Mental.
If you clean & polish your cab on a
Regular basis you don’t get bugs !!!
the maoster:
On a recent night out I unhandcuffed my inner idiot and ended up playing a drinking game. Two shots of JD honey in a glass with a locust in it. You drank the shot then ate the critter. First one was hard to swallow but funnily enough the next lot got easier. Only felt queasy the next morning when cleaning my teeth and saw a leg on my toothbrush!
Fascinating. Did you have to go outside and source your own locusts or did the venue provide you with some of their own?
dozy:
If you clean & polish your cab on a
Regular basis you don’t get bugs !!!
That explains your existence then!
ETS:
the maoster:
On a recent night out I unhandcuffed my inner idiot and ended up playing a drinking game. Two shots of JD honey in a glass with a locust in it. You drank the shot then ate the critter. First one was hard to swallow but funnily enough the next lot got easier. Only felt queasy the next morning when cleaning my teeth and saw a leg on my toothbrush!Fascinating. Did you have to go outside and source your own locusts or did the venue provide you with some of their own?
They were provided by the strange host who happened to have a bag of them smuggled in from somewhere in Asia stored in his freezer. No, I don’t know why either.