Having been away all week i need directions, i need the quickest route from my comfy chair in the front room to the fridge for a beer, do i run around the breakfast bar (thats what the wife calls it). Or do i leap over it and risk injury, there is a third option but that would involve a sledge hammer, and judging where to hit the wall with it. Just a thought. would i find the answer somewhere in the DCPC, Now having got my beer do I reverse out or spin round if there is room obviously being careful not to spill my load.
Dafman:
Having been away all week i need directions, i need the quickest route from my comfy chair in the front room to the fridge for a beer, do i run around the breakfast bar (thats what the wife calls it). Or do i leap over it and risk injury, there is a third option but that would involve a sledge hammer, and judging where to hit the wall with it. Just a thought. would i find the answer somewhere in the DCPC, Now having got my beer do I reverse out or spin round if there is room obviously being careful not to spill my load.
I would be more worried why the said wife had not pre delivered - after all what else use are they
(Tin hat on )
DO NOT spin it round in the kitchen unless you are not paying for the tyres on your trailer. Besides, you will be in danger of damaging HER washing machine with tail-swing.
Happy boozing.
Do the manual handling regs allow you to lift a beer? Best bet is to sub the job on to a third party (the wife). While she’s there she could get you a bite to eat 
midlifetrucker:
Dafman:
Having been away all week i need directions, i need the quickest route from my comfy chair in the front room to the fridge for a beer, do i run around the breakfast bar (thats what the wife calls it). Or do i leap over it and risk injury, there is a third option but that would involve a sledge hammer, and judging where to hit the wall with it. Just a thought. would i find the answer somewhere in the DCPC, Now having got my beer do I reverse out or spin round if there is room obviously being careful not to spill my load.I would be more worried why the said wife had not pre delivered - after all what else use are they
(Tin hat on )
That would involve letting them out of the kitchen. Which I believe another license is needed, and a health and safety assessment done.
Clunk:
midlifetrucker:
Dafman:
Having been away all week i need directions, i need the quickest route from my comfy chair in the front room to the fridge for a beer, do i run around the breakfast bar (thats what the wife calls it). Or do i leap over it and risk injury, there is a third option but that would involve a sledge hammer, and judging where to hit the wall with it. Just a thought. would i find the answer somewhere in the DCPC, Now having got my beer do I reverse out or spin round if there is room obviously being careful not to spill my load.I would be more worried why the said wife had not pre delivered - after all what else use are they
(Tin hat on )
That would involve letting them out of the kitchen. Which I believe another license is needed, and a health and safety assessment done.
Not to mention a longer chain from the sink!
Clunk:
midlifetrucker:
Dafman:
Having been away all week i need directions, i need the quickest route from my comfy chair in the front room to the fridge for a beer, do i run around the breakfast bar (thats what the wife calls it). Or do i leap over it and risk injury, there is a third option but that would involve a sledge hammer, and judging where to hit the wall with it. Just a thought. would i find the answer somewhere in the DCPC, Now having got my beer do I reverse out or spin round if there is room obviously being careful not to spill my load.I would be more worried why the said wife had not pre delivered - after all what else use are they
(Tin hat on )
That would involve letting them out of the kitchen. Which I believe another license is needed, and a health and safety assessment done.
There are specialist agencies you can call for home help
midlifetrucker:
Dafman:
Having been away all week i need directions, i need the quickest route from my comfy chair in the front room to the fridge for a beer, do i run around the breakfast bar (thats what the wife calls it). Or do i leap over it and risk injury, there is a third option but that would involve a sledge hammer, and judging where to hit the wall with it. Just a thought. would i find the answer somewhere in the DCPC, Now having got my beer do I reverse out or spin round if there is room obviously being careful not to spill my load.I would be more worried why the said wife had not pre delivered - after all what else use are they
(Tin hat on )
Well that’s is a very valid point it will have to be mentioned in the next edition of my servants report to the woman.
What’s a washing machine
This is a difficult one.
For the wife to fetch the beer does indeed mean her leaving the kitchen, which must contravene some, if not all of the Housewife Code.
For you to fetch the beer yourself would mean that you would have to get up from the armchair, probably in contravetion of the Husband Code (off duty).
The only solution I can think of is to have a mini-fridge installed in the arm of the chair, which your wife would be allowed to fill when you are out of the house.
To balance the effect this fridge may have on the performance of the armchair, I’d fit a mini-oven in the other arm, for keeping the pies hot.
I hope this goes some way to solving your problem.
get it together man.
your a Professional driver and the golden rule is not to drink and drive.
so tell her to get off her arse and sort your drink out as points on your licence is a risk to you being home for 6 months.
:lol::lol::lol:
have you got your hi-vis on
Apparently last week, on some tv program ( probably loose women ! 
) one said bimbo came up with a cracker■■? " we are not HOUSEWIVES, but domestic CEOs " 
I kid you not! 
now I can’t see what the fuss is all about, when I’m away tramping, she shops, looks after the kids and cleans the house! 
how hard is it■■? FFS 
Why do brides traditionally get married in white■■?
Because all kitchen appliances are white