Defect Books - Daft comments

UK PROFESSIONAL DRIVERS FORUMS THE UK PROFESSIONAL DRIVERS FORUM (INTERACTIVE)
1

Whats the best you’ve seen in a defect book?

Heres mine, to the tune of Raw Hide:

Rollin’ Rollin’ Rollin’
Keep those units rollin’
Though the cab is frozen Raw Hide

In cold foggy weather
My knees iced together
Wish you were ridin by my side

Please make my duty sweeter
And fix my old cab heater
Please fix it at the end of my ride

Hit em up, move em’ on raw hide etc…

To which the fitter replied:

Rollin’ Rollin’ Rollin’
Now your heaters goin’
Keep them units rollin, rawhide!

In cold foggy weather
Run the engine and heater together
And you’ll find it warmer inside

Your duty will be sweeter
Now I’ve fixed the cab heater
You’ll be cosy for the rest of your ride

:smiley:

2

pmsl !

3

:laughing:

4

I love these from Quantas.

http://www.bluepeople.com/funny-stuff-forum/293-qantas-pilot-flight-reports-funny.html

5

Surprised how many times I have seen “no paper in tacho” reported as a defect.

6

brilliant!!! :laughing: :laughing:

7

Tyre flat at bottom! :wink:

8

I had my wrists slapped for writing joke stuff on them. I used to sign them Hulk Hogan, Mickey Mouse etc and once wrote a defect for “Crap on the radio.”

9

i,ve just sang that out loud twice :laughing: quality

10

Ive started drawing little pictures in the corner of ours…

Doesnt impede on main info part…

Xmas week…crackers and tree
Easter week…bunnies and eggs
Nov.5th…fireworks
Nov 15th…Birthday cake (its my birthday!)
Sep.11th…towers and planes
also if something topical is in news
Just done a Guilotine for July 14 (Bastille day in France)

11

truckerjon:
I love these from Quantas.

http://www.bluepeople.com/funny-stuff-forum/293-qantas-pilot-flight-reports-funny.html

That was quality, some quality defect reporting there! :grimacing:

12

That is ■■■■■■■ brilliant mate, love it.

Even brought the missus in and sung it to her, and she laughed too … So, score 1 to you, 0 to me :cry:

truckerjon:
I love these from Quantas.

http://www.bluepeople.com/funny-stuff-forum/293-qantas-pilot-flight-reports-funny.html

Had this 1 for years on my facebook notes, it came round as a memo when I used to drive airside at Manchester Airport back in 2005

13

once saw the following defect report

winder winder wont wind winder up or down

14

Cemex memo at Wickwar instructed their drivers what wasn’t a defect and it was such a long list someone scrawled on the bottom “Much quicker to tell us what one is…”
Our short tempered, foliacally challenged driver had a defect note left saying “Tyres good, head bald”… :laughing:

15

When I was a bus driver, many moons ago, I took over a bus off another driver, and the defect card said “same as yesterday” !!!

How the hell does that help? :unamused:

16

How the hell did he fit all that in that little box at the bottom!!! :laughing:
Seen a few “n\s front squeeking like a 40 year old matress”
" more like a steam train than a truck by the way it’s smoking"

17

If I drive someone else’s lorry and it’s dirty I always put in the defect book “needs washing!”

18

Classic whilst I was doing my bit for Sainsbury’s. I was seconded to do a few months in the office & one of my mundane duties was marrying up the returned completed defect sheets from the workshop to the originals held in the office.

Defect sheet :- Loud knocking from nearside of cab when cornering.

Workshop action taken :- Removed empty coffee cup from nearside overhead locker :unamused:

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

Yes,the driver did get quite a lot of stick for the next few weeks :laughing: :laughing:

19

Reported…Window won’t close.

Response…Don’t open it then! :open_mouth:

20

i once put on a defect sheet,problem with the brakes,fitter asked what the problem was,i said well really i’d like some!!