Just come back from the cashpoint.
I was queuing behind a blind pakistani and he asked me to check his balance.
“Sure”. I said and pushed him over 
It’s a joke!
I was in the local village the other day, a bloke asked me the quickest way to the post office. I asked him if he was walking or in a car.
He replied, “in a car”. Oh, good, “because that is the quickest way” 
SCAM WARNING.
In LIDL while I was packing shopping in the car, beware of being approached by 2 pretty 18 year old girls wearing tight tops. They appear to be of East European origin.
They offer to wash your windscreen and then remove their skimpy tops to polish the glass. All they ask in payment is a lift to the railway station. As I drove along they dried each other off and one climbed in the front with me.
She then put her hand down my trousers and gave me hand relief and it was only after I had dropped them both off at the train station I noticed my wallet missing. 
This happened on tuesday, wednesday twice on thursday and saturday afternoon 
