Its been a funny old week. I was home for the weekend and had to run out empty to France because I had a special tank that we use on a dedicated job. I left home on Monday morning and set off for the train. As normal Monday morning and accidents and delays on the M1 so I cut off through Loughborough and Oakham and onto the A1 at Peterborough. I made good time down to the Dartford Bridge and got a message on the onboard computer.
“Malcolm, can you swap trailers with Guido in Maidstone services please. He has come up from Italy and cannot make his delivery slot today”
This trailer was loaded with whole liquid egg and I wondered just how many eggs you had to break to fill my tank with 26 tonne of egg. My delivery was for Harrogate and as I had already done over 4 hours, I didnt need any delays or hold ups. The next problem was some kid who tried to charge us both 20 quid for doing a trailer changeover. Guido doesnt speak much English but Malcolm does and when he was telling Guido that we could pay him in cash I asked him if it went into his pocket. All of a sudden the changeover was free of charge and he slithered back into his hole.
I took a 45 minute there and headed off back for the Dartford tunnel and made good time to the M11 sliproad when I noticed it was backing up a bit. I had heard Sally Traffic telling me that the A14 was slow so I nipped out and carried on round the M25. A little later Sally told me that someone had tipped a load of railway sleepers on the M11 junction and that someone else had blocked the M1 at junction 9. I shot off up the A1M and made good time without a single holdup. I managed to get to Markham Moor for my tea and had to ring my customer to give him an ETA. I said I would be with him for about 8pm and he was amazed that the load had only been collected on Friday evening and would be in his tank by Monday evening. I arrived at the customer site at just after 2000 and as I drove onto the weighbridge a lad was positioning the pump while a driver moved a trailer for me. Within 10 minutes the pipes were connected,the girl had taken a sample and I had opened my valves for the first compartment. By 2200 I was empty and weighed out and then parked up. I had managed 732 kilometres in 9h 48m.I parked on the A59 to enjoy a cool beer & was impressed by the persistence of a police patrol car. He was in and out of the layby at least 3 times and I presumed it was either a crime hot spot or a favourite place for him nicking drinkers coming out of the Black Bull.
I already had my instructions for the next day so just woke up when I was ready and made a cup of tea before heading down the A1 again. It was the first day of the Yorkshire show so traffic was very heavy and the diversions were slow. I managed to make Stibbington for breakfast and while in the cafe discovered my reload had been cancelled and to go empty back to our depot in Belgium. The reason for this is unclear but at least the egg will be cleaned properly as we have had occasions where the cleaner has baked the egg onto the tank making the largest poaching pan in the world.
I arrived at the train and after an hour or so had managed to get on. It only takes about an hour and half from the tunnel to my depot so I dropped my tank in the cleaning bays and fueled up, then checked my pigeon hole in the office. New gloves, payslip and an idiots guide on how to deliver to a customer I have been going to for over 20 years. We are getting a lot of these recently and the only difference I can see is that they all say there is no facility for drivers to smoke anywhere on site. That could be simplified and just say. Drivers are the scum of the earth and will not be allowed basic washing facilities or to use the canteen because you are unclean. Oh the difference in mainland Europe eh?
Maybe another factory notice should be put up asking the immigrant worker to remove his oil covered boots before standing on the toilet seat.
In the pigeon hole was my delivery instructions for my next trailer, 26 tonne of liquid sugar for Holland and a reload from Amsterdam for Compiegne. I had a couple of hours left so decided to get through Antwerp that evening as it can be very bad in a morning with traffic. I parked up for the evening in Herentals, 723 kilometres and 9h 50m and just in time for a Belgian Dagschotel which was Soup, Roast Chicken and 3 Veg and potatoes with custard and cream (VLA) for pudding. A couple of beers and away to my bed for just under 18 Euros.
The trailer I was tipping was loaded in the UK last week and dropped in our depot. It was called off yesterday and was due to unload at 12 noon near Goch. I arrived at about 10 am and they looked at me, then at the truck then at me and I said is the problem that I am English and the truck is Belgian. The girl said no, the problem is that you are a month early. I said “Well if I had been a month late you would have shouted at me” No problem. I am going to ask the guys to make a tank clean for you but you may have to wait a while. OK. I replied, how long do you think it will take as my boss needs to know. Im not sure how long it will take but it could be an Hour, Is that ok? she asked.
I sent a message on the Bord Computer and told them to contact the customer. My new friend in the goods inwards had already spoke to them and apologised for me having to wait. My reload from Amsterdam had to be loaded before 1800 so they had already given that away to a truck in the vicinity and I was to unload and wait for instructions. 20 minutes later the guys from the Goch factory had come out, told me I could unload and were sorry for the delay. I was tipped weighed out before my planned delivery time of noon and they were apologising for delaying me even though I was a month early. Whilst tipping my reload had come through and I had to clean at a small tanker company in the neighbourhood of Nijmegen
The reload was a neutral collection on behalf of 2 clients and I had to make paperwork out for a customer in Germany although my split delivery was for Bristol and Shepton Mallet.
The loading time was between 1400 - 1800 the same day so I had a meal at the cleaning station and made my way to the collection address. The village it was in was very small and the roads were getting narrower and narrower. There was a sign saying that cars and trucks were not allowed but as I had got good directions from the cleaning company I ignored them. I was looking for an address that looked like a feed mill or an agent who buys and sells farm produce. It turned out to be a small farm with the only sign outside saying the family name of Pieters. Convinced I had got it wrong, I walked up to the house with my false CMR and asked for directions. One minute please and I will move my car. You can wait there and I call my husband.
Within 5 minutes a very large tractor pulling a muck spreader pulled alongside me and asked if I was loading for the UK, telling me both of my secret customers and who it was really loading for. He said that I could not load until after 7pm. No problem, I will put the kettle on and have a sleep. My wife is making you dinner and coffee. I told him I had eaten and she later brought me a package out with a couple of doorstop cheese butties and a big jug of Douwe Egberts finest. The butties went in the fridge and I am forcing coffee down my throat as I type this. However the reason I could not load until after 7pm was this.
They were still full and needed emptying into my tanker.
The farmers wife came across to the truck a couple more times to check I was ok,she showed me the toilets and shower as the children were enjoying playing around the tanker as it made a good climbing frame for them. The farmer came back twice on his tractor to see If I was ok. No one shows that much concern at an RDC in the UK. By about 20.30 I was loaded and parked up near Calais that evening. 7h 35minutes and 506 km
I left the next morning around 9am and headed back to the train fueling up at the AS24 in Coquelles. An hour of delays here as it was very busy and whichever lane you get in is the slowest like in a supermarket checkout. I had a good run through Bracknell and in and out of Bristol to the Airport where my first delivery was right on the side of the A38. This place was a hive of industry and is a working farm with a dairy, cheese manufacturing, workshops and agricultural contracting as well as a farm shop. I weighed in and they directed me to the unloading point half way up a steep slope in the farm yard. I was soon tipping and the bloke in the factory had to do a guesstimate to see how much I had tipped. We decided enough was enough and I attempted to drive back to the weighbridge.In the meantime I had received a message from planning to ask if I would reload on Friday from Shepton Mallet for France on saturday. That would mean being weekended but I replied that it was no problem and I could do the reload.
All the truck would do was go backwards while the wheels went the opposite way. I tried the diff lock and it was no better. I dropped the unit suspension and tried again and it moved a little bit in the right direction. I couldnt go backwards as there were some pipes and a pump on the wall. The bloke came and suggested tying a field buggy to the front and dragging me up the hill. I refused this as I have seen a lot of damage done this way, The next suggestion was to completely unload me, turn round and then pump the milk back on. I said this may be the only way but I just wanted to try one last thing. By now I had got an audience of office workers, mechanics, lorry drivers and a gentleman farmer in a dickie bow tie. Many suggestions came forth as I walked to the back of the trailer and raised the rear suspension to the top an lowered the truck suspension to the bottom and got back in the cab. The lorry driver said you will never get up there, the gentleman farmer was concerned about his wall and the mechanic said I was talking crap about damaging the truck by towing it. I selected M2 and released the hamdbrake, The faithful Volvo scratted a little and then slowly moved up the ramp. I got a cheer as I disappeared into the yard and turned round to go back to the weighbridge. The other driver was amazed and couldnt understand how I had done it. All it needed was a little bit more weight over the drive I explained, I was left with 7 or 8 tonne sat at the rear of the tank, by shifting the height I had transferred a couple of tonne forward to give me enough traction.
Back at the weighbridge we worked out that I had unloaded 18817 litres and as we needed 19000 it was a fair guesstimate. I got to the next delivery in Shepton Mallet and asked if they had a weighbridge. No "we dont need one as we have a flow meter. OK, I said we have to unload about 6500 litres. After 10 minutes another bloke came out and asked how much I had on. Dunno mate. If the farmers metre was accurate and the last weighbridge was accurate there should be about 6500 litres but its guess work and Im relying on your flow meter. Flow meter, we havent got a flow meter, well we have but it doesnt work very well. He said I will take 6000 litres into a small holding tank and you will have to take the rest back. I am still trying to work out how to put 500 litres of cold milk into a goat. I offered some good advice and said as they would get charged for the difference between the first delivery and the loaded milk they may as well take it all or I would let it go down the drain. This caused panic and the next thing I heard was that my tank was empty and the pipes were swiftly removed as the man signed my CMR. I got back into the truck and the computer was bleeping away to say I had a new message.
Malcolm, “Load from Shepton Mallet cancelled, go home and ring me on Friday”. Im at Michaelwood services disgusted at having to pay £13 for parking as I am typing this and had a steady 13hours with 6 hours driving and 460km to report today.
I woke up at Michaelwood about 8.30 and sent a message to tell them I didnt manage to get home. They would already know that with the satellite trace but at least I would find out the next plan. Our problem was that we needed to load on Sunday afternoon in Bridgend but the dairy needed a certificate to say that the tank was cleaned within 12 hours of loading time and as no-one works Sunday in that part of the world a new plan was needed. My next instruction was to meet a Danish driver in Darlaston and swap trailers, they had a new load for me from Banbury on Sunday. I ran to Darlaston and cleaned my tank as Danny the Dane was already there with a clean 3 potter for me, we swapped tanks and he left to load for Germany.
Next week you may have a proper diary as the next job is out of the ordinary for me, suffice to say it is 2 grades of chocolate to somewhere sunny and hot. I hope!
