Coupla jokes

[daidap]

I woke the wife up the other morning. I asked Do you want ■■■ or do you want coffee?

Doesn’t matter she said, they’ll both be [zb]ing instant.

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They say that ■■■ is the best form of exercise…

Now correct me if i’m wrong but 2 minutes 15 seconds once every 3 months ain’t gonna shift a [zb]ing beer belly now is it?

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I love my job as an impressionist.

So far my mates blind sister thinks she’s sucked off David Beckham, Johnny Depp and Brad Pitt!

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Fernando Torres…

Not as famous as his brother ■■■■…

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I thank you.

[altitude]

[suedehead]

My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a ■■■■■■■■.
I said “thats three schools this year” - you should stop this or they"ll ban you from teaching !!