Every place of work used to have them…Remember them here!
One of Smiths was the late Terry Fowler; Always the last to start in the morning, one day he was just unlocking his TM 4wheeler when John Smith walked through the yard;
“Oh dear, late again, Terry?” John asked.
“Don’t worry John, so am I!” He replied as he drove off. 
I was driving C W Griffiths Commer Maxiload in 1969,me and another CWG driver were stood out in the quarry at Dolyhir waiting to load.Harry Jones one of the quarry employees jumps up in the Commer and was pretending to drive it.Clarence Griffiths our boss came down loaded in the lorry he drove and was looking at Harry.
Quick as a flash Harry says " whats he looking at somebody would think he owns the thing " Me and the other driver just cracked up laughing.
A now retired employee (who shall remain anonymous) always drove the oldest of the non-spare motors as he was also the roadsweeper driver; One day whilst sweeping the haul road at Gill Mill, he decided to read the newspaper as he went…Except he went straight on when the road veered right and not only swept the grass verge but collected the barbed wire fence up under the sweeper
Same drivers’ work schedule read one day;
“Draw (whatever) stone to Bus Lane works, Pear Tree Park and Ride, Oxford.” He did one load and was gone for about 3 hours.(Round trip of an hour, tops) He came back and done another and was not seen again. When questioned he told our TM at the time “It said DRAW on my bit of paper. It didn’t say how many I had to do!”
at Sellars & Battey,Peterborough,we had a new starter,who it has to said looked and acted very wet behind his ears.Talking in the yard one day,Bill mentioned that until you had a jacknife incident you hadnt been Christened,well the newbie goes out the following day with MF Combine on his trailer heading for the London Docks,has a jacknife leading up to the Colsterworth roundabout on a wet road,sees him a couple of days later,where he informed he was now Christened as he’s jacknifed at Colsterworth!!!
To this day,I wonder whether or not he used the “deadman” on the old ERF he drove to cause a jacknife!!!
Take it easy,
David
When I drove one the loading shovels, there was a local groundwork contractor of Irish origins who had some right old junk as plant. One day said chap came in for 2 tonnes of concreting ballast with a rotten Bedford TL plant lorry. Another shovel driver quipped “you have to sheet up here mate” as a joke due to the wagon having no sides, within a minute Paddy was trying to tie the loose ballast to the well rotten floor. Needless to say the haul road and the A415 didn’t need gritting that night.
I was following another driver of the same firm that I drove for along a country road.All of a sudden he slapped the brakes on smoke coming form the tyres,leapt out of the cab and started jumping around in the road. I asked him " whats the matter " He says " ■■■■■■ wasp got up my trouser leg and stung me I’m trying to get the bstad out before he stings me again " .
J Moulds of Reading had a driver known as “Crusher Bob”; Notoriously short fuse but hard worker. An ex colleague told me how when Moulds were running one of the tips beside the M4, Bob found his van wouldn’t start when he needed to finish early. This old ■■■■■■ van had been nothing but trouble and one day rather than ring for a fitter, he simply fired up the 'dozer, drove over said van and buried it