hiya,
Would’nt be lost without her Norm why do you think i bought a sat-nav, as for thinking i’d gone deaf i think i must be the, old girl says i never hear anything she says, but as i’ve said on many occasions i would’nt swap her for a gold clock, but two she’d have to go.
thanks harry long retired.
ive just been thinking…okay I know its dangerous me actually thinking but… 
i think we will have to have a theme tune for the harry and norm show. 
lets see now, what could it be? mmm on the buses theme, nope dont think so. news at ten, fukckc no 
coronation street? emmm dont think we could decide who would be Amy turtle 
emmerdale farm? na might remind the old codgers of some of the women they shagged, or even worse, might see some of their lost off spring 
the archers theme, well no coz that reminds me of work so fukkc that for a carry on. what could the theme tune for the harry n norm show be…let me know lads, I’d say crossroads but its so fknikn depresing and the harry n norm show is far from that. IVE GOT IT IVE GOT IT!! (not that ya wee bugger i got a jag from the doctor for that) 
the laurel and hardy theme tooooooooooon. so everytime you log onto a thread with harry n norm the laurel and hardy tune will play ■■■■ me, im so clever 
what do you call a boomerang that wont come back to you■■? a stick
My reply is, the theme tune to " When the boats come in", but we would say when the trucks come in, and it would star Durham Harry with his famous " Bristols" in his drag act, and Northampton Norman with his big Marathon who is quite good his " B**ls or is he bias.
hiya,
My theme tune is going to be “underneath the arches” thats where i’m going to be kipping if i don’t spend a bit less time on the computer by the orders of " er indoors".
thanks harry long retired.
Harry, you must tell her,that the reason you are on so long, is because you are telling the truckers what a kind beautiful understanding loving wife she is, and all your mates are jealous of your situation, and she should be proud of you for spending so much of your precious time glorifying her in other peoples eyes. If that don’t work, tell her to go to bed and get her beauty sleep.
hiya,
Norm if i attempted to sing my old ladies praises she’d be convinced i’d lost my marbles and have me certified as insane, yes i know she would be right.
thanks harry long retired.
Harry, if she thought you was mad, she might think it was better to leave you behaving yourself playing with your laptop, you have to be suttle, and let them think you are doing what they wish you would do!
hiya,
Norm i don’t do subtle, but an expert at bull in a china shop which i hasten to add she would’nt want me any other way.
thanks harry long retired.
What you mean Harry is she will not get you any other way . Snow in Scotland is bad, two feet in one day,I wonder if it is above Jimmy M head, for we have not had him on for a while.
Norman Ingram:
What you mean Harry is she will not get you any other way
Talking of snow,can one of you two come over here and give me a hand,I’ve had two wagons to drive and getting fed up of 24/7 clearing the bloody stuff.I’ll get you free seats for the TT at Creg-Ny-Baa where this was taken - you can see them behind the Ivecos.They were free when this was taken 
aaaaarrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!! let me out let me out. been working too hard norman. I actually broke sweat the other day, or was it thawing snow, dunno, dunno. im heading up to edinburgh next saturday, then Aberdeen on the sunday, so I hope the white stuff stays away…p.s dont eat yellow snow. 
hiya,
jimmy m never break sweat old mate, my old lady tells everybody i’m under the impression that manuel labour is a Spaniard, have a good trip and fair weather and keep o’er to the left but that rule does’nt always apply when travelling to Stranraar, sometimes you have to use the grass verges and footpaths to avoid traffic coming from there.
thanks harry long retired.
aye thanx for that Harry. as long as i get to Aberdeen I’m not bothered whether I get back or not!! as long as the pubs don’t run out of tennents lager and heavy. here is a question for you old times to answer. this happened to me a few years ago on the 66 heading for scotch corner. can you get wind sheer on the road? wind sheer is when an aircraft suddenly hits a gust of wind that can actually make the plane unflyable and pilot cant make it respond to his actions. planes have actually experianced it on finals and crashed into the runway killing all on board. I was pulling an empty 14" 6" trailer on a bit of the dual carriageway near where that pub is. weather was dry, not windy, just normal for that part of the country. I had a daf 95 4 wheeler and doing 56mph. then all of a sudden the lorry just started moving over onto the off-side lane and there was nothing I could do to stop it. it was as if it was sliding on a piece of glass and it wouldn’t respond to steering. i thought braking might be a bit dodgy,(had seen nothing behind me, clear road) so just lifted foot off and after about 5 seconds managed to steer lorry back into near side lane. it wasn’t like a skid, which happens quick and is all over, but like in slow motion, but I had no control at all for about 10 seconds. I thought she was going through the barrier.any ideas guys?
hiya,
Thats a new one on me jimmy m must have been a frightening experience and something you would’nt want to happen again, no wind, dry conditions, all a bit spooky have done a bit of aquaplaning in my time but that was due to heavy rain and a too heavy boot and that puts the wind up you but self inflicted, are you sure there was no aliens/spaceships about, funny things are possible when those little green buggers are knocking about, the only things that bother me these days are pink elephants the whisky induced one’s.
thanks harry long retired.
aye so you see johnnie walker sometimes harry! it was really wierd harry, never experienced it before. parked up many times in lay byes and never even locked door when i went to bed. never bothered me. then one friday I had to park up not far from M4/bristol area. had to get up in the middle of the night to point percy to pee, and I got this really creepy feeling that i was being watched. got back into bed and couldnt settle, so got up and drove back to kent…spoooooooooky.
hiya,
Watch what you’re doing jimmy m and keep the door locked you might get beamed up “scotty” and find yourself doing three drops Moon, Venus and Mars and not sure if sat-nav works up there, and most likely get weekended to boot.
thanks harry long retired.
Jimmy I know your trouble is you have spirit trouble, water down you drink ,on your sideway experience,if you was comming through hills or mountains, and no side winds, it is possible winds blowing parallel can cause a slight vacuum, and this ■■■■■ you over slowly or causes the vehicle to shift over because of having no air to resist the air pressure on the other side of the vehicle.
hiya,
Norm the part of the A66 where jimmy m means is a bit wide open not many sides to the road at that point in fact not much higher than the main road anywhere along there it’s supposed to let the snow blow off the road surface, i hasten to add it does’nt work have had some awful trips over there in my time.
thanks harry long retired.
i could have understood it if it was windy, but it wasn’t and just took me completly by surprise. aye norman parked at newark that night and had a few spirits aye harry, so il bet youve been in that pub. on right heading to scotland with lay bye next to it.
hiya,
Yes jimmy m once or twice but only for medicinal purposes, sick of driving usually.
thanks harry long retired