Clubs and Dances, Pubs, were truckers delight

UK PROFESSIONAL DRIVERS FORUMS OLD TIME LORRIES, COMPANIES AND DRIVERS (INTERACT
2081

hiya,
Condom manufacturer receives an order from Russia for a huge consignment, with the order was a model of a ■■■■■ a monsterous thing, the batch is produced and the foreman takes one to the boss and lays it out on the table, how do we mark the packageing for these boss?? the boss tells him to emblazon the wrappers with the words “Made in England size small”.
thanks harry long retired.

2082

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2083

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2084

Dave the Renegade:
Paddy pulls alongside a lorry driver “oi driver yer losing yer load”
Driver shouts eff off,
5 miles further “oi yer losing yer load”
Will you eff off says the driver.
5 miles further Paddy yells "I’m not joking yer losing yer load !
Driver says will you go away you thick Irish effer, I’m gritting !

And heres me had been trying desparately to get you and me an invite to the Steel Boys ■■■■ up at Cirencester – with jokes like that no wonder Andrew told me it was in Fairford !! You would have been sraight out on your ear and I would have more than likely being invited to join you as my jokes arn’t a lot better !! Cheers Dennis.

2085

young girl goes to the doctor not feeling too good. doc tells her to take her t-shirt off and he gets his stethescope out. “big breathes” says the medic man holding his thing to her chest. "yeth and im only thixtheen as well! so he examins her and says, youve got acute angina. and she says I know, and my ■■■■ aint so bad either :grimacing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :smiley: :smiley: :open_mouth: :sunglasses: :sunglasses:

2086

hiya,
When the doctor told my missus she had acute angina she thanked him and gave him a kiss.
thanks harry long retired.

2087

What did you get Harry when you said she had a nice ■■■■■, was it a glass of milk? :unamused: :unamused: :unamused: :unamused: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

2088

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2089

Not bad Dave :stuck_out_tongue: :stuck_out_tongue: :stuck_out_tongue: :stuck_out_tongue:

2090

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2091

guy goes into greengrocer and asks for a pound of tatties. " we dont do them any more" replies the serving bint, " we do kilos now". okay says our intrepid shopper. " :grimacing: :grimacing: give me a pound of kilos" :grimacing: guy goes to doc with a cricket ball up his arse. doc says ooowzz that? guy says dont you fukcin start :imp: :imp: guy goes to the doc and tells him he cant stop ■■■■■■■. doc goes into corner and comes out with a huge pole. guy says I hope you aint gonna shove that up my arse doc, no says our bodily man, im going to open the fukcing window, you stink. :laughing: :laughing: :smiley: :angry: :stuck_out_tongue:

2092

paddy returns from a trip abroad he is pulled by customs as he has a big sack over each shoulder customs looks inside sacks and they are full of mobile phones customs asks what are they for paddy replies “me mate murphy has opened a jazz bar and he asked me to bring back 2 saxophones”

2093

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2094

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2095

Dave four out of ten for that one. :astonished: :astonished: :astonished: :astonished:

2096

Norman Ingram:
Dave four out of ten for that one. :astonished: :astonished: :astonished: :astonished:

Hi Norm,
Lost the impact when it kept saying ZB ,so had to put blanks in. :sunglasses: :laughing:
Cheers Dave.

2097

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2098

Yes Dave that joke is a bit of a pup! but a slight improvement. :unamused: :unamused: :unamused: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

2099

hiya,
Norm, no way am i auditioning for you you’re a bit picky, never mind him chaps i think you are all class acts in fact you are legends.
thanks harry long retired.

2100

Hi Harry,
Perhaps Norm is the Hughie Greene of Northampton. I mean that most sincerely. :laughing: :laughing:
Cheers Dave.