Cliff Richard meets a fan from China. The fan says “I ruv you Criff. I ruv song called itchy sore fanny”. Cliff says “I didn’t sing a song called that”. The fan says "Yes you did, it went ‘Itchy sore fanny how we don’t talk anymore’ ".
Thanks, I’m here all night 
Bit of a musician’s joke, but here goes!
Stevie Wonder is playing a gig in Japan when a member of the audience shouts “Stevie - play a jazz chord”. Stevie bangs out a D min13+5/A on the piano. “No” shouts the fan, “play a jazz chord”. Stevie tries again - C 11 sus4. The fan shouts again “No - play a jazz chord”. Stevie shouts back “I just did, what more do you want?”. “No” calls the fan - “play A Jazz Chord to say I Love You”
OK - stage door here we come 
A Chinese guy comes to London for a holiday.
He needs to change some money,so he finds a post office and joins the queue.
When its his turn he steps to the counter and the girl says,
Good morning sir can I help you,
Riss prease, I want chrange dorrars to Blitish prounds,
Certainly sir, says the girl the rate today is 8.5.
Rye so row? asks the guy,
Fluctuation sir, says the girl.
Well ZB you blitish says the guy and storms off.